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WiseGurl
carley1128
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎12-15-2011

Numb

It's the night before my 17th birthday, I should be excited right? But i'm not. Idk why. well I have an idea why i feel so numb. I lost my Grandpa last year, my Grandma remarried in september and moved across the country, I'm having idk how to explain "ex-boyfriend" that should give you some idea. I miss my Grandparents and my ex-boyfriend, I miss him too. last year during my birthday i was planning my sweet sixteen so i was distracted by everything so that helped I'd have my breakdowns here and there, and i had this amazing party to look forward to. But this year isn't the case. Do you ever feel like you're just going through everything without even feeling anything or showing any emotion becuase if you do you feel like you might break? well i guess that's how i feel and Idk how to deal with it.  Everything has been racing through my mind, Grandpa I miss you, Grandma why did you move away, ex-boyfriend..how could you? Emotoins suck, I have a hard time showing them I keep it all bottled it in, becuase maybe if you push it in the back of your mind and pretend everthing is okay it will go away? but it doesn't.

 

WiseGurl
firestorm104
Posts: 293
Registered: ‎09-21-2012

Re: Numb

we all go through things sometimes that make us question things, or hurt enough that we cope with them in any way we can, even if it's not intentionally, but it's just us, and how we handle it. i know exactly how it feels, i've been there before. at first you try not to feel it, until it almost feels like you don't at all anymore, as if believing it becomes reality. you have to learn how to let yourself break down sometimes if you feel like it, but at the same time, find some way to let yourself feel again. don't hide your feelings from yourself. write it all out, everything you're feeling. if you're afraid of judgment, write it for yourself, every little thing you feel no matter how immature it sounds, or whether or not you'd really say it to the person it's intended for. sometimes it helps to write it as if for someone else to read, even if you don't actually share it with someone. try and find ways to feel again, even if it's something small at first. what makes you happy, gives you that little adrenaline rush? what makes you feel something besides all the numbness and pain? don't feel like you're alone in your feelings you can always talk to me if you need someone to talk to
feel free to private message me if you have any other questions or just need someone to talk to or listen :smileyhappy: