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12-08-2012 07:52 PM
Where do I start with my problem?
I guess I can start from the beginning....
Truthfully I did not think I would end up on this site, spouting my problems to complete strangers, but somehow it ended up this way. And in advance, I apologize for the long post.
I have known this guy since tenth grade when we started Japanese 1 together in highschool, and now were seniors in our last year. We started out as strangers and became "bros", I was friends with all the guys, and now it feels like I have fallen in love with him.
But truthfully, I think the moment I realized I liked him was on our trip at the beginning of our school year this year. We were on a overnightstay in St. Louis for a Japanese Festival there. I had been in an argument with my boyfriend I was off and on with in the past year. We talked about how our relationship just didn't feel right, about how I was incapable of love. So we broke up. Funny because it was through text messages... I mean it was mutual in the decision, but it still hurt you know?
It was late at night, probably around three in the morning, and a lot of people were in the guys’ room hanging out. I felt kind of cramped, and still upset about my breakup previously that night, so I grabbed my sketchbook and went to sit out in the hallway just outside the room. Minutes later he came out of his room and sat against the opposite wall. He really din’t say anything about it, just that he wanted some fresh air too. I guess he could tell I wasn't feeling the best, lol..
And really, in that one hour span of time that we sat out there together, whether in silence or making small talk, I realized I really liked him, and had for awhile now. It made me so nervous, yet, I felt easy just laying there on the dirty hotel carpet doodling the perspective of the hallway, with him silently watching me. At one point we layed next to each other and talked about the future and about how this would be our last time hanging out with all of our friends like this.. I felt like my feelings for him grew so much that night..
We are now in our Senior year of highschool. I’m not sure if he likes me, but sometimes it seems that way. He will poke at my sides and laugh when I spazz out, or sit and give advice to me about military stuff since I recently decided to try and pursue a career in the NAVY.
We have really grown closer this year having three classes together, and I find that he is always asking for help with the math work, and we talk more than we use to . We text almost everyday and he often wishes me sweet dreams when I fall asleep on him.
I feel like he might like me, but I don’t really have a great history of dating. I have only dated one guy in highschool and the mind of men are mysterious to me. I feel like my heart is about to burst when ever I’m around him. And I am afraid: Afraid to voice my feelings for him, afraid that he is only a rebound and I only fell for him because of the breakup.
Many reasons stop me from telling him. He is the ex boyfriend of my BFF, and I have talked to her about my feelings and she accepted them, but I am afraid he might still like her. ( she is so pretty too ) Not only that, but we ARE seniors in highschool, so this is technically our last year to really hang out and see each other like this. He has signed up to be an engineer in the Air Force for 6 years after highschool and I want to join the Navy Reserve and go onto to study linguistics in college.
I don't want to ruin our friendship by bringing my selfish emotions into the picture...
What should I do? I am so confused by all these emotions of happiness, light headed, pain, and sorrow. Please. I know we are all strangers here, but I would really like some help. What should I do?
This is what I had posted in another board a while back. Now it seems like so much has happened since then.
A lot had happened since October.. A lot of it probably not interesting to everyone else.
I had been working up the courage to confess my feelings I've had for this guy for a while. He invited me and a friend to the Halloween party ROTC was hosting the weekend before Halloween. I dressed up, put on a little eyeliner, and played out the script I had basically written in my head for my confession later that night. Of course, you might not know this, but I'm not much of a party person, heck even a people person. But he invited me, so I had to go.
My crush had told me he wouldn't be there until the football game ended around 730 or 8 (hes in band)but told me I could come early and talk to other people there. I waited at the party until nine pm, which wasn't his fault, the football game went into overtime. But what really made the night worse was when I finally saw him. He entered in his zombie slayer outfit and was called out by one of his friends to dance. He danced across the floor and our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat. The moment was growing closer.
He made his way to sit on the sidelines with me, music blaring in our ears. I leaned in to tell him that I wanted to talk to him, when a girl in his class sat beside him and grabbed his hand. He kissed her hand and smiled as she asked him to dance with her. I sat shocked. How could I have missed the signs. He had a girlfriend. I left shortly after, my friend picking me up outside. My crush was a nice guy and waited with me outside until I got in the car. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot I felt tears running down my face.
That night was the first I had ever cried over a guy.
Now its December and I've tried distancing myself from him, but its so difficult when I have half my classes with him and we share the same friend group. Even though he has a girlfriend, my feelings remain the same. Its so painful. Everytime I see them together I feel jealousy brewing in my heart. Its unnatural for me and I just want it all to go away. I just want to go back to being friends; when I didn't realize my feelings for him; when I didn't know about his girlfriend; when I could touch his arm without my arm exploding from my chest cavity.
My friend hints that he likes me, that he truly likes me, but I'm just not sure anymore. I want to be with him, but I don't want to be THAT girl.
Any advice on stuff like this?
Solved! Go to Solution.
12-19-2012 11:44 PM
You know stuff like this is hard. I understand that. I'm a sophomore so I don't know if you want to take advice from. But Its ok to have feelings for a guy whose taken & a good friend of yours its pretty normal. But at the samet time maybe its a sign that you guys aren't meant to be, or maybe it could be saying for you try harder to get him. I might sound crazy but I believe in stuff like that. I also believe that your scared of rejection, I understand that completely I think anyone does. And you should give it a chance. Go tell him how you feel and if he rejects you well he's missing out on a great girl. If he doesn't well then hey your happy. But go with your GUT not your heart lol But if it doesn't work out, yea you can be sad but don't be for too long move on after a week, and find someone else your interested in.