What's On Your Mind?

[chelliesally]

Hi guys, 

For my boyfriend's 23rd birthday I bought him $125 bath robe from Pottery Barn because his needed a replacement badly! Apart from that I also got him new bedding from IKEA because he loves IKEA. Long story short, a few days before his birthday he told me he wanted the Nintendo 3DS. I am a student at the moment and I don't have an income of any kind. The Nintendo was completely out of my price range. The money I used to buy the bathrobe and bedding came from my parents. When I gave him the gift he became immediately, visibly upset and said that he was disappointed because he thought I was getting him the Nintendo. For about an hour afterwards he was a bit upset with me, you can say and then explained to me that the gifts are ok but that he had worked up his expectations. He keeps telling me the gifts are ok but that I should have known to have gotten him something else that he liked, such as sports gear, video games, tech gadgets.

I don't know. I feel SO humiliated and SO horrible that he did not like my gift. I have become so depressed because of it and I just don't know how to handle the situation. Every time he brings up the topic I become sad to the point where I start crying. I feel so horrible and incredibly embarrassed! To add to that, I find it hard to be around him and even look him in the eye.

I appreciate that he told me how he really felt but on the other hand I wished he had just been thankful for what I was able to get him.

What do you think I should do?

Thank you so much in advance!
Sally

[alice_doll]

Explain to him that you already bought those things for him before he told you what he wanted. I think it's actually kind of mean that he got mad at you. At least you thought of him at all, you didn't have to get him anything.

[S0Exciited]

Your boyfriends like a spolied imconsiderate brat. You actually put thought into your gift and got him something he'd like. I can understand being disappointed but repeatedly bringing it up and making you cry? He's a douche.

[illusione]

Seriously, this guy is 23, and he's throwing tantrums because his girlfriend didn't buy him the right birthday present??

You have no reason to feel humiliated or horrible, you did nothing wrong. He's the one who should be embarrassed because he's a grown man behaving like a spoilt child. Surely he can tell his behavior is upsetting you? He should be ashamed of himself! 

Tell him you're sorry your present didn't happen to be exactly what he wanted, but you spent a lot of time and money trying to find something he would like, and if he values his relationship with you, he should appreciate that. Otherwise, you can take the present back and give it to someone who considers your feelings more important that video games. 

[Nyctimene]

Whoah. Whoah. WHOAH.

I would not even accept that kind of behavior from my 7 year old son, let alone from a grown man. Son would be sitting in time out for a good five minutes at least and then forced to apologize and probably would have said gifts removed for a period of time. That is ridiculous on his part.

A gift is a gift. That's why it's a gift....the element of surprise and not knowing what you'll get. If you want something specific than you might as well just ask for money in a card so you can buy it yourself. Or a gift certificate to that store. You more than fulfilled the two criteria for gift giving; (1) You thought about something personal he could use (2) You found him a suitable practical gift.

He needs to grow up. When you're 23 you're going to get a lot more socks, sweaters, bath mats and robes than you are video games and toys. You're not a child anymore. He can buy himself a 3DS if he wants it so bad. Or there's Christmas coming up.I sure wouldn't buy him ANYTHING after that. In fact I'd probably be a cruel bitch and find a used 3DS box and have it empty and just put a note in it with something like "Well I was going to get you a gift but after my last attempt went down in flames I was too nervous I'd buy the wrong one again. But enjoy the pretty card I got you."

PS - The 3DS sucks anyway. ;-) Seriously. The reviews of it have been abysmal since it came out.

[ToxicDisco]

WTF your boyfriend shouldn't even expect anything for his birthday!! A kiss from you should be enough to make him happy. Of course we do tend to give gifts but it's just a extra bonus. Your boyfriend is acting like a asshole and like other girls already mentioned, for a 23 year old he sounds like a big baby. I'd talk to him and tell him that what he's doing right now isn't on and that he's making you feel like sh!t which is not how it should be. You really have NOTHING to feel bad about. You already spent a lot of money and a gift is a gift. He should be thankful even if you handed him a bag of his favorite chips. He's behaving ridiculous and needs to be set straight. 

[boomtiing_ox]

Lol, what even is ths?

Just to reiterate what every other gurl has said, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about and you definitely shouldn't be crying over something like this. Your boyfriend is acting like an ass to be blunt and I wouldn't stand for it. If I were you I'd take back the presents and get a refund so then he has nothing. This isn't acceptable behaviour from a child never mind a grown man. His extremely selfish and childish and if he's getting upset over something so trivial as a gift then who knows what he'll act like in serious situations where you need a mature attitude.

[back@u]

omg he is so immature!  such a child.

yes i get his point he wants you to ask him what he likes and then get it.. that's how i am too..i got some crappy gifts before.. a good friend of mine got me a pink necklace when everybody else knew i don't like pink.  it wasn't even my birthday and she got me the gift because she thought of me, which is why i appreciated it.  he should appreciate YOU!!  gifts are from the heart.

you need to put him in his place.  you shouldn't feel embarrassed..if anyone should it's him for treating you like crap.  man i would kill my boyfriend if he acted this way and he knows it. i'm 22 and he's almost 24.  hold that leash, your man shouldn't run too wild with you.  let him know when you need to be respected. 

ps--- i don't believe in being a hypocrite... when i don't like something i don't say "oh thank you i love it!!!".  i just thank the person and that's it...lol sometimes i'm so transparent people ask me "do you like it" and i just say "it's fine thanks" lol.  anyway teach your boyfriend some ediquette.

[Gorgeous Ty]

Your boyfriend should be happy that you bought him anything period. It sounds like he is ungrateful. Your obviously to good of a girlfiend to be with him. Keep it real with him. Tell him how you really feel

[starryphoenix]

I did this once. I got a stern lecture

....I was 7

this guy needs to grow up and understand the world doesnt revolve around him

he should buy the Nintendo for HIMSELF and stop whining!!