Relationship Issues & Advice

[bcgirl232]

Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months, and when we first started going out i was the happiest girl alive. but recently i havent been so happy. I havent seen him in two weeks, and i dont find myself missing him that much. He is 20( im 18), and still lives in his moms house and does not have a license or steady job so he stays home all day playing video games. There are many little things about him that are starting to really bug me... Also, he is the only person i have ever had sex with, and i feel if i leave him then i would have wasted my virginity on someone i wasnt going to spend my life with. But recently i have started talking to a guy i used to have a thing with, and i am finding myself missing him, and i feel as if in the right situatuon i might hook up with this past fling. i would never ever cheat on my boyfriend, but i am starting to rethink whether or not i still want to be with him. i think he can tell im not as happy, our conversations are so one ended and i feel as if we dont talk about anything important anymore, just boring conversations that last all day.  i without a doubt love him more than i have ever been with, i just dont know if i am still in love with him... what should i do?

[alegnatm]

You have to do what is best for you and decide if you want to be with him or not. It sounds like you are pretty unhappy, so maybe it is time for you to move on. Or maybe he just needs to get motivated and do something with himself and that will help things? You can't rely on someone else to tell you what you should do, you have to think about what you want and make that decision for yourself.
I was in a situation pretty similar to yours a while ago. The guy I lost my virginity to and I dated for four years and he was two years older than me too. It ended for various reasons, but I do understand your feelings about how he made you so happy and then as time went on things changed and we both changed as people, which isnt surprising since we started dating when i was 15 and broke up when I was 19 which is a time where most people go through a lot of changes.
I also understand wanting to stay with him because you lost your virginity to him, I felt that way about my ex for a while, but if you are unhappy then you are unhappy and it's not really worth staying in that relationship, all you can do is be happy that you lost it to someone you were in love with who made you happy at that time, and just be careful about who you decide to sleep with.

[bcgirl232]

I know, it's just a hard thing to have to decide. What if I decide I don't want to be with him, but no one else wants to be with me either. another big part is that I haven't even really lived my life at all, and now I feel trapped like I can't do anything exciting as this is the year I graduate. I have tried talking to him about getting his life together and he always says he is tryin but nothing has progressed. He also smokes cigarettes and pot, which really bugs me, because he knows how much I hate that my parents do it. He stopped doing it around me, but it's another one of those things that bug me.

[alegnatm]

I am sure that if you break up that you will find someone else.
I know that it can be hard to end a relationship, especially one that has lasted so long. I know what it's like to feel like a relationship is holding you back and to also feel like you don't want to leave, but those feelings of being trapped are red flags that you need to get out. My advice is that you should be single for a while and just have fun, it sounds like this relationship is only bringing you stress lately and you need to be having fun, you only get to be a senior in highschool once so you gotta enjoy it.