Relationship Issues & Advice

[KaylaMay]

Can someone help me? Today, my boyfriend told me he has had sex with a guy.. But, a couple days ago he told me he was a virgin. Im getting really uncomfortable. What should I do?

[yogi-heather]

Do you understand that maybe he waited to tell you about having had sex with a guy because he felt like he would've been judged had he told you earlier? Is that okay with you that he's just now being honest about that?

Do you mind that he's bisexual?

You've got to decide how you feel about it, then communicate openly about it. 

[AlyssaRenee999]

If he's your boyfriend and he had sex with another person doesn't that mean he cheated on you? Do you still really like him? Maybe talk to him about it more and get to know exactly how he feels? You didn't really give much information for this. Haha.

[scuzz]

Both my boyfriend and I are bi/pansexual. We have only both had sex with each other. We have been dating for almost 3 years and even though he knew I was bi/pansexual since the beginning of our relationship he didn't tell me he was until around 2 years into are relationship. He was questioning himself when we first started dating but was pretty confident that he was bi/pan about 1 year into the realtionship. He thought I was going to like stop loving him or think that he was a freak or something was wrong with him even though he knew I myself was bi/pan. It really doesn't matter to me. He still loves me. The only reason I would ever be hurt is if he were actually gay and just using me as a "cover". I don't care if people or gay or  even if he was but it would just hurt me. Though since he is just bi I don't care at all it just means a greater chance at having a threesome with another guy! haha

[Special_K]

That fact that he is bi, is something you'll have to decide if your okay with it or not, but first you have to address the fact that he lied to you.

It seems like everyone else is jumping into "oh he waited to tell you because he was scared." But I'm a little shocked that no one else is addressing him lieing. He told you that he was a virgin, meaning he's never had sex, then turns out he has had sex, and on top of that, it was with a guy. It's great to be accepting of other people, but you don't have to be okay with all this right now. Personally, I would be pissed that he lied about being a virgin, forget that guy part. If you can forgive him for that, then start deciding on how you feel about him being bi.

P.s. if you decide that you can get over this, and you accept his sexuality for what it is, then that is great. If you can't accept him Lieing, or that he has been with a guy, then don't feel like your a bad or intolerant person. I have had many friends with different sexual preferences, but I've never wanted to be with a guy who likes guys also.

Good luck

[leahd1]

The fact that he came out and told you that show that he trusts you and it took a lot of courage! Though you may be jostled by this new fact you've learned about your boyfriend it doesn't change who he is! I think in this time you have to be supportive of him so that in the future he'll feel comfortable coming to you with something he's struggling with. Not to mention he's still the awesome guy you decided was boyfriend material. Plus, as mentioned in some other posts this relationship was in his past! If you feel comfortable I'd suggest sitting down and having a serious talk about bi-sexuality and what it really means. I think a lot of people make assumptions about it when they really have no idea what it's like. Just like you wouldn't judge a friend based on their sexual partners, I really think it'd be wrong if you judged your boyfriend for his. Obviously you wouldn't want your boyfriend blowing up on you for being sexually involved with someone in your past-guy or girl! The fact is that it was in the past and right now he has eyes for you and only you. Being bisexual doesn't mean he's secretly planning to leave you for a guy. I do think it was wrong on his part for lying to you. I can understand being scared to tell you that part of his life but he definitely should have communicated that he was not a virgin because in a healthy relationship both partners should be truthful. Good luck! I think if you both have strong feelings for eachother then this relationship will hold steady. 

[hannah0amy]

Well it does mean that he cheated on you.....even if it was with a guy. Follow your feelings for this boy, if you really love him you will be able to overlook the fact that he is bi. If you dont like him for this one little bump in the road , that is a bit shallow,obviously being bi he still likes girls and will still love you. You should sit down and talk about it, what you think is now right and wrong. Hope this helped and i hope you do the right thing! 

Stay true to your heart! 

[Special_K]

I dont think it matters that "it was in his past" or "he had courage to tell you".

Hello, he lied -.- If you cant be upfront and honest about your past, then that is the problem. Alot of people have expectations for their partner, and that is more than acceptable. If she wanted to date someone who has had the same experiences with her, then he has messed that up by lieing about what he has or hasnt done.

[MistressWoman29]

Try to make the best out of in. If your uncomfortable about it try talking to him and if you figure that nothing seems to work on calming your nerves about it put yourself in him position.

[beetyler17]

BAIL.

sorry. im just being honest.... if he lied and then decides to just drop the bomb on you after hes already your boyfriend thats crazy ! then you not only have to worry abour girls , but guys too. im just being honest because i know i wouldnt be able to handle it ... 

hope this helps somewhat .. 

beetyler