Relationship Issues & Advice

[gemilemon]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months now he really wants sex but I am not ready I feel like I am holding him back he says I am not but I feel like I am. We have fallen out over this but we have also worked it out but I don't know what to do plz help. 

[tinyxtrickster]

Its simple. Dont have sex with him and dont feel like you are holding him back. If your not ready, your not ready. If he seriously has a problem with it, then maybe you should rethink this relationship.. Sex is a big step in a relationship and can take time to ease into. It can take a week, months, or longer. It depends the person. Wait until the time is right for you.

[gemilemon]

I

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tinyxtrickster wrote:

Its simple. Dont have sex with him and dont feel like you are holding him back. If your not ready, your not ready. If he seriously has a problem with it, then maybe you should rethink this relationship.. Sex is a big step in a relationship and can take time to ease into. It can take a week, months, or longer. It depends the person. Wait until the time is right for you.

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get what your saying but I don't want to end our relationship we love each other very much he is very understanding about the sex. He a lot more understanding than I thought he would be we both understand its a big thing in our relationship it could make our relationship stronger or it could break us. 

[misslyss27]

Okay i am not trying to be rude but im trying to be real. I will tell you exactly what this seems to me what is happening. If a guy truly loves you he will wait until you are ready. If he is pressuring you or keeps asking for it bothering you about it, then its simple, that may be all that he wants from you then he will leave. I am not saying every guy is like that but sadly a lot of them are. I have learned from my past and trust me it hurts more if you go for it if only he wants it. If you do not want to do it yet then dont! Do not let him control you.

I hope i helped ask me anything if you want!!

[gemilemon]

He is not the type of guy that is always telling me what to do and he is not the type of guy who is just after sex off me he is willing to wait till I am ready. He knows it is a big thing in our relationship so he is willing to wait till we both know the time is right. 

[stayclassy]

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gemilemon wrote:

I

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tinyxtrickster wrote:

Its simple. Dont have sex with him and dont feel like you are holding him back. If your not ready, your not ready. If he seriously has a problem with it, then maybe you should rethink this relationship.. Sex is a big step in a relationship and can take time to ease into. It can take a week, months, or longer. It depends the person. Wait until the time is right for you.

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get what your saying but I don't want to end our relationship we love each other very much he is very understanding about the sex. He a lot more understanding than I thought he would be we both understand its a big thing in our relationship it could make our relationship stronger or it could break us. 

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If he's so understanding, how come you have fallen out over this.

[gemilemon]

We don't know why we have fallen out over this we don't get it I know he so understanding but I just don't know why we have this is why I am asking for help.

[stayclassy]

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gemilemon wrote:

We don't know why we have fallen out over this we don't get it I know he so understanding but I just don't know why we have this is why I am asking for help.

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Are you sure sex is the reason why you have fallen out over this??

If he's distancing himself from you because you aren't giving in to sex, then he's not a good guy. He should enjoy being with you and wait until you are ready. If you don't wait until you are ready you might regret it, resent him and ruin the relationship anyway.

If he's not distancing himself from you because of the sex, then there are other issues in the relationship and having sex will not solve the issues or make them go away. It's like having a baby to save a relationship-- it just doesn't work.

[back@u]

guys are usually the first to talk about sex in the relationship...  they are hunters..want to get into the cave fast. 

you said you aren't ready?  then don't get ahead of yourself.  sex should be fun, not a burden.  when the time comes and you have sex it's important that it's because YOU are ready and YOU want it badly as the guy does.  never do it just to please the other person because you will end up feeling like cr*p. 

you can always do other things (like making out) but if you feel awkward don't get into that yet either... 
best of luck.

[gemilemon]

It's nothing like that he is a lovely, kind, caring guy and loving he is not just after sex with me I don't think we are falling out about it as we both don't know weather to do it or not or weather it is to soon to have sex yet. He is willing to wait but we just don't know what to do but I also feel like I am holding him back but he says I am not but I still feel like I am.