Relationship Issues & Advice

[mynameiskate]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years. To be dating since we were both fourteen (I'm seventeen now, he's eighteen in a couple of days) is a long time and we've changed a lot. He's my best friend and I love him to bits but I feel like now we're just friends more than anything. We don't really do anything physical and I'm wondering whether I even want to anymore. I've been thinking it might be best for us both if we just call it off. I know he loves me, he tells me everyday. He's the best guy I know and I feel awful but I just don't think I feel that way anymore. That's why I don't want to end it, because I know it would hurt him. Gah I'm just confused! I've been thinking this way for at LEAST a few months, I've ended up crying a couple of times because I feel like such a horrible person.

So I've thought I either call it off (which would break his heart and I don't want to hurt him) or if any of you girls have any ideas of how to "rekindle the romance" or however you want to put it, do tell.

BASICALLY I have bottled this up for months and I've finally made an account on here because I know gURL is the best place for advice. Or even just comforting words. That would be lovely, too.

OH. And I'm sorry for rambling but this is the first time acknowledged it so my mind is kind of all over the place.

Thanks for anything x

Edit: Signature thingy is been an arsehole. AWESOME.

[Lauren A. · Accepted solution]

First of all, I wish I had a relationship as great as yours You are not a horrible person, otherwise he would not be with you. Now this is what I suggest... I undertsand that you might be scared by breaking up with him, but just tell him. Do it in the nicest way possible. Just tell him that you guys are so close and that you want to stay close forever, but just as friends. He may be devastated, but if he really cares about you, then he will understand. The first few weeks or so, it might be a tad awkward since you guys used to be more than friends, but just act totally casual like you would around any friend. You guys will look back at this time and be so grateful that you are stayed close for so long.

Now, if you really don't want to break up with him, then you could try to salvage the bf part of the relationship. I personally wouldn't reccommend this as it is very unpredictable... you could start to do more things that couples would like going out on dates.. holding hands... just little things like that. then take it on from there and see how things go... maybe you will start to realize you do like him like that... 

Now, there is also a chance that he might feel the same way you do and just wants to be friends. This is also another reason why i highly suggest just telling him the truth. Nothing good comes from lying, so if you stay with someone you don't want to be with, then who knows? what if he proposes? idk, im just saying that it's just as bad to be with someone because you don't want to hurt their feelings. trust me, it is way less hurtfull to tell the truth and tell them you dont want to be with them, then stay with them out of pity. 

this is your life, and you make your own decisions. from what I know, your friendship is stronger than anything, and try to keep that. I just gave you my advice, but it's your life, so, I hope you don't regret whatever deciscion you choose to make, and I wish you the best. 

[mynameiskate]

Thank you so much, that really has helped a lot! I think I just needed to know I had someone to talk to, I feel better now I've got it off my chest.

You're right though. I think I'll try salvaging as much as I can before completely giving up but you're right, I shouldn't be staying out of pity.

Again, thanks

[l3XiiP00H]

Is there a reaon why yall are not having sex ?

[l3XiiP00H]

Is there a reaon why yall are not having sex ?

[mynameiskate]

Not in particular. It's a bunch of stuff really. We don't get a lot of time alone through the week, there always seems to be family or someone there. I love his little brother but he is ALWAYS there. He's fourteen as well so it's not as if he's a baby just wanting to be close to his brother or anything. And recently I went through a bunch of stressful situations so that'll have something to do with it too.