Relationship Issues & Advice

[staybeautiful13]

Hey, so I've been wondering this for a while now. Last year this guy started to flirt with me and, while I was really flattered I was completely terrified of going out with him. He would ask me out and I'd made up some lame excuse every single time. At first I thought that it was because I didn't really like him. But then I realized this wasn't the first time this happened to me. About 2 and a half years ago I met a guy online, he was a friends with a friend of mine. We never actually met. We just chatted online and I started to really like him, we became really close and we really liked each other. But then this one day he texted me and said he was outside my house with our friend in common (he lived really close to me) and I just freaked out. I literally hid in my bedroom and I don't remember if I didn't answer his text or just told him I wasn't home. And then, when he finally told me he had feelings for me I turned him down with some pathetic excuse that I liked other guy. So I started to wonder, am I afraid of having a boyfriend? I have never had one. Well, just one, when I was 13 and I don't count that as a relationship. I'm 18 now and I have never even been on a date nor kissed a guy. Could that have anything to do with this whole problem? Am I just nuts? 

[mandakim]

you probably don't have commitment issues. i mean going out on A date hasn't got anything to do with commitment.

i think you're just nervous.

specially seeing as how you've never been on a date before, i can totally understand how you feel.

next time, push yourself and say "yes", then go out and have a good time.

worry about commitment issues AFTER you've been dating for a while

hope this helps

[Blackbird]

It sounds like you're scared of dating. But this is something you can consciously work on and change. You need to take risks. Chances are, you're going to get hurt, but that's life and that's how you learn and grow and figure out what kind of person you want to be with. Next time you like a guy and he likes you back, go for it and see what happens! If it doesn't work out, there will be other guys. You just gotta break out of your shell and give yourself a chance.

[back@u · Accepted solution]

you don't have a commitment problem but you do have a dating problem...  you make up these lame excuses so that you won't have to date, and you won't have to go sky high with love only to be dissapointed by these guys and tell yourself one day "i was so stupid". 

fear is your enemy but as you break  it down to a list you will see how tiny that enemy is next to you..  you had the easy part when it was all obvious a guy confesses his feelings to you and the only thing left to do is to see what happens?  hiding in your house won't press the fast forward to the wedding chappel.  the experimentations will give you more confidence in yourself, and it will give you the idea of what kind of guy you like or dislike.   may be the next guy you will see is the one, or may be 5 after that you never know unless you try ;-)