Relationship Issues & Advice

[lovinlongisland]

There's this guy I have liked for a while now who has liked me too. He's been super busy recently and I don't blame him because I know how much he has going on in his life. He used to be my best guy friend and it's developed into something more. I've met his whole family and he's met mine but we're still not labeled as anything yet. We are technically a secret. We've basically done everything but sex. I've always asked him to be compteley turthful with me and he has. When I talked to him the other night he was honest with me about something and I honestly don't know what to do. He told me that he hasn't had sex in 11 months and he wants to break the streak, which I can understand. He then said that he didn't want to pressure me into anything I wasn't ready for because I'm a virgin. He said there was this girl who is completely "no strings attached" and she does it with a lot of guys and offered to him. He asked how I would feel if he did do it. I told him it would bother me but I know it shouldn't because we're not together. I'm glad he told me but I don't know what to do. If he does do it, does that mean he'll like me less? And I think I'm ready for sex but i don't want him to think its because he asked me about that other girl. What do I do?

[GoodGurl]

This is compllicated ! I don't know what I would do. I say you just let him know that it would really bother you. If he really likes you/ loves you maybe he won't do it. A guy who really just wants you wouldn't want to 1) have se with someone else or 2) he definately wouldn't want to hurt you.

[lovinlongisland]

I know it is really coplicated! Thanks for the advice 

[xxfacebookxx · Accepted solution]

Firstly, you should not conform to having sex if you really don't feel comfortable or ready to do it regardless of him wanting the "break a streak" or how much he likes you. Secondly, if he's trying to persue a relationship with you, then he shouldn't even be thinking about hooking up or having sex with other girls. I know its hard to fight the urge after not having sex for a long time ( I should know, it's been 9 months for me), but he should really decide how much he values what you two have together even though you aren't an official "couple". You should definitely let him know that it bothers you and you don't feel comfortable with him having sex with another girl, Even though you guys aren't together, its completely normal for you to feel uncomfortable with the thought of him having sex with someone else. If he doesn't take your thoughts into consideration, then he's not the guy for you. There are many guys out there who will be willing to wait for when you're fully ready to have sex, regardless of how long they  have been on hiatus. 

Good Luck.

[pipsty]

Okay harsh reality coming up....

So a girl who sounds like a free prostitute just HAPPENS to offer sex to him...no Offense but he must have been talking about missing sex or sex in general like that for her to be like "Hey, Il have sex". How would he even know her?

Dont let this be a push to lose your viriginity...I lost mine at 16 with someone I thought really liked me but was in fact snogging a friend behind my back and I regretted it so much. Keep your viriginity!

This is gonna be a real make or break time for him...Tell him it really bothers you...Could you really keep seeing this guy knowing he had a quickie because he couldnt wait? He either steps up, keeps it in his pants and makes things official with you. To be honest maybe he thinks a year without sex is embaressing or something...not like people are going to know at the end of the day!

If he likes you like you believe then he should understand and respect your choices....Any empty headed dude should know sleeping with another girl tends to mess things up unless it is a agreed open relationship...If thats what he wants your better finding out now then letting yourself get hurt. If it bother you, tell him if he does it you wont be able to keep seeing him, and if he doesnt then maybe think about talking about making it official... Just PLEEAAAASSSEEEEE dont jump into sex just because he "says" he wants to sleep with this free prostitute. (For all you know he just wanted to bring it up and got  uncomfertable and scared)

(p.s. sorry if this is harsh, but guys really make me mad lol)

[madahooha28]

Wow this is really difficult because bottom line is you shouldn't be pressured into having sex. At the same time if this guy really cared about you he would wait until you were ready and wouldn't even THINK about sleeping with someone else. I think it's cool that you are a 'little bit' understanding, but sex is not a necessity and I WOULD NOT tell him that I am okay with this. Now the only thing is, you have to worry about him doing it anyway behind your back. I think it is great to be up front and honest, but that doesn't mean you have to accept everything he says.

And you also have to think about the fact that he is considering sleeping with a ho who might have sexually transmitted diseases. I am not telling you to give up on your relationship, but don't give yourself to someone so much that you allow him to disrespect you this way. Sex is obviously something that is important and special to you and maybe you just don't share the same values.

~Billie

[stayclassy]

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pipsty wrote:

Okay harsh reality coming up....

So a girl who sounds like a free prostitute just HAPPENS to offer sex to him...no Offense but he must have been talking about missing sex or sex in general like that for her to be like "Hey, Il have sex". How would he even know her?

Dont let this be a push to lose your viriginity...I lost mine at 16 with someone I thought really liked me but was in fact snogging a friend behind my back and I regretted it so much. Keep your viriginity!

This is gonna be a real make or break time for him...Tell him it really bothers you...Could you really keep seeing this guy knowing he had a quickie because he couldnt wait? He either steps up, keeps it in his pants and makes things official with you. To be honest maybe he thinks a year without sex is embaressing or something...not like people are going to know at the end of the day!

If he likes you like you believe then he should understand and respect your choices....Any empty headed dude should know sleeping with another girl tends to mess things up unless it is a agreed open relationship...If thats what he wants your better finding out now then letting yourself get hurt. If it bother you, tell him if he does it you wont be able to keep seeing him, and if he doesnt then maybe think about talking about making it official... Just PLEEAAAASSSEEEEE dont jump into sex just because he "says" he wants to sleep with this free prostitute. (For all you know he just wanted to bring it up and got  uncomfertable and scared)

(p.s. sorry if this is harsh, but guys really make me mad lol)

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People do hit on each other and plan to hook up. So she's not a free prostitute, she was probably attracted to him and asked him if he'd be up for sex. It happens.

And sometimes guys like girls but don't want a relationship from them. Just because he likes her doesn't mean that he *should* be the guy for her.

[pipsty]

People do hit on each other and plan to hook up. So she's not a free prostitute, she was probably attracted to him and asked him if he'd be up for sex. It happens.

And sometimes guys like girls but don't want a relationship from them. Just because he likes her doesn't mean that he *should* be the guy for her.

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Fair point i guess, I just think if this guy is telling her he likes her why would he let another girl flirt? I mean he'd hurt both girls in the process tbh x Just my opinion x

[stayclassy]

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pipsty wrote:

People do hit on each other and plan to hook up. So she's not a free prostitute, she was probably attracted to him and asked him if he'd be up for sex. It happens.

And sometimes guys like girls but don't want a relationship from them. Just because he likes her doesn't mean that he *should* be the guy for her.

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Fair point i guess, I just think if this guy is telling her he likes her why would he let another girl flirt? I mean he'd hurt both girls in the process tbh x Just my opinion x

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They're not together. It seems they are hooking up no strings attached and nobody has mentioned being in a relationship.

'Cause if they were together, definitely he shouldn't be hooking up with other girls.

I wanna know what happened here if the OP wants to tell us.

[pipsty]

They're not together. It seems they are hooking up no strings attached and nobody has mentioned being in a relationship.

'Cause if they were together, definitely he shouldn't be hooking up with other girls.

I wanna know what happened here if the OP wants to tell us.

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Fair point, but the original poster said that they liked eachother...Its a slightly grey area when emotions are involved in my opinion...If it was a FWB or a relationship itd be easier to classify.

Same here to be honest, hope it all pans out for the best xx