Relationship Issues & Advice

[diva90221]

Recently, my best friend and I have confided that we're in love with each other and wish to date. I'm completely happy with being in a relationship with him, HOWEVER, he still has a girlfriend. Without passing judgement on him, how do I cope with the emotional attachment to him while knowing I can never be truly his?

[Tayylove96]

You have to ask him if he wishes to act on these feelings as badly as you do. If he does not, do not try to sabotage his relationship in anyway, don't say anything negative about his relationship. As you are his bestfriend, if he doesn't want your relationship now, respect it and move on. If you dont it will hinder your friendship. If he does however want to be with you, tell him breaking up wth his girlfriend sooner rather than later. But don't do anything with him( relationship wise) until he breaks up with his girlfriend. Dont get right together either. Take like 3weeks break for him to take a breather from relationships. 

Goodluck, because I had a similar situation dont be afraid to reach out XOXO 

[diva90221]

Fortunately, he wants to be in a relationship with me and was the first to actually confess it. For the first few days, I was okay with maintaining our friendship even with the feelings I have for him, but I can admit I start to get territorial, so it's progressively getting harder to act like I condone his relationship. It's ironic Bc he doesn't talk about her at all now. it's like when we're together it's just us and no one else in the world, but you make a GREAT point of giving him time after breakup to actually be single. The only thing that's not adding up is that he hasn't told me of any efforts to break up with his girlfriend.

[tinyxtrickster]

If you know that you are never going to be his.. then why bother??? He can confessed that he likes you.. okay. He is still with his girlfriend. If he was inlove with you then he would of left her and would try to be with you. Tell him straight up that your not waiting forever. If he still doesnt leave her, then move on. Try to stop talking to him.

[JayQuake26]

Tell him he needs to choose bc if he has both then you dont have his love and you hav to share him with someone else.. you'll hav to watch him be with someone else.. thats not love

[diva90221]

I won't go as far as to stop talking to him, but I definitely won't wait either. I still continue to date and socialize, but I COMPLETELY agree with you in the fact that if he was in love or felt so strongly he would leave.

[diva90221]

You make a great point and now I feel a lot better about refusing to share him.

[Tayylove96 · Accepted solution]

Guys are oblivous, he's not going to break up with her right way, I can tell you that. So if you want, just patiently wait a month or two, no one wants to get broken up with in Valentines week. So maybe he should wait til then. And y'all get together during spring break? Yes sounds good. Just remember to always be his bestfriend first. And lastly dont act like his gf until you actually become it. Hard I know but you cant take her place right away.

XOXO <3