Relationship Issues & Advice

[theonlyone]

Recently I snooped through my boyfriends Facebook while he was at work. And I didn't like what I found. There was messages between him and some girl in september. We've been together for 9 months. I found them in the beginning of december. He was flirting with her and they exchanged nudes. I confronted him about it and he admitted it. She was an ex. He said he was sorry and he ended it back in october. He admitted he was jealous that i had guy friends and that i would be bored of him eventually. We have an eight year age difference. Im 19 and he's 21. However He was upset with me though for snooping and said he'd never invade my privacy like that. I told him how can i give you privacy if i feel like i cant trust you now. Im very affectionate and 100% faithful to him. I want to make things work but i cant help thinking i should leave. I don't know what to do, ... Help

[boomtiing_ox]

And here's the old age scenario of trust. Why did you feel the need to snoop? Why didn't you trust him? Obviously you were right to have suspicions since he was indeed cheating but what's a relationship without trust and since he's cheated on you, your going to find it very difficult to trust him. He does have a right to be annoyed that you snooped but in his case, that's only because he was keeping a dirty little secret and he got caught out. Personally if I was cheated on I'd end it just because of the cheating and I know I'd struggle to trust them again; I'd constantly be worrying whether they're speaking inappropriately to other girls and such. Also, he seems insecure and jealous because he did all this because you have male friends. What? Does that sound remotely healthy or normal to you? People in relationships should be able to have friends of the opposite sex because they're just that FRIENDS. Why would you want to spend 9 more months with someone as insecure as him?

You deserve to be treat better than this.

[Itsmecourtney]

Hey hun,

I was cheated on too, through messaging and facebook, and its a horrible feeling to know that the one you trust and love would go behind your back and do something like this, to me it sounds like he is trying to blame it on you, and say he did it because you had guy friends and he was jealous, which is so not a good reason or your fault at all. He admitted it to you when he got caught. It doesn't mean that he doesn't feel bad or deserves a second chance, but a relationship should be built on trust, and knowing hes online with ex girlfriends exchanging nude photos, can you trust him? Do you trust that he is sorry and won't do it again?

All the best to you , and hope you make the right decision

-Courtney

[theonlyone]

Ive been cheated on past relationships; so when i came into this relationship i tried to start new and give this one a chance. We both have trust issues and we are trying to move past them. Its hard. And especially now after this. And idk i want to trust him... But how can i now. I love him.....in this relationship i didnt obsessivly snoop or suspect him of anything. But because of my past issues i felt the urge to do a checkup and thats just what i found...

[Itsmecourtney]

Maybe he is not the right guy for you then, you may love him and it may be hard to leave him and make that decision, but if you think he could do this again and have trust issues with him, do you want to go through it again? If you have already been through it? I had suspicions my boyfriend of 4 years was going behind my back with a girl, but I kept telling myself, no I love him, and he loves me he wouldn't do that, but he did. I should have trusted my instincts and broken his heart before he had the chance to break mine, not saying he is like this, but him sending nude pictures to an ex girlfriend and keeping it from you until he has no choice to confess is not a good sign, there are better and faithful guys out there, we just have to find them! 

[stayclassy]

You have to remember that what he did wasn't a simple "mistake". He himself took a picture and clicked "enter" when sending it. And all that talking happened over some time. All this because he was jealous you have guy friends? Sounds like a complete bullsh!t reason to me, and he's trying to blame YOU for something he did.

Plus he NEVER came clean about this. He got caught.

I also think you have trust issues from your past relationships but I wouldn't regret going through his stuff just because of what you found.

[tinyxtrickster]

He is upset because he is caught being a pig. He cant blame you for his own doings. You didnt make him take those pictures. You didnt make him send them. You didnt say that since you have guys friends, he can send his d!ck to another girl. Its disgusting. Yes, you snooped. You looked through his stuff. If he had nothing to hide, it wouldnt be a big deal. But he hid somthing and doesnt know what to do. What i find funny.. is that he STILL has those messages so he can look through them all he wants. If he really did end it or whatever, those messages would be long gone. He is feeding you all bull. You are right, how can you trust him now? You dont know if he still does this with other girls or what.

Honestly, i would say leave. If he really cares, then he will fight for you and show that you can trust him again. If not, then you know how much of a dirtbag he is. I would NEVER forgive my guy if he cheated on me like that. Screw that.

[BrookStoned]

Girl snooping is fine. Never put to much faith in a guy. Don't do it constantly though. I f you have a gut feeling that you need to check it listen to it. And yes stay with him it was an accident,but let him know he wrong and make it known Don't be soft and become a pushover girlfriend. He needs t find another way to deal with jealousy. You guys should sit down and talk about the what ifs and buts in the relationship and see where his mind is. Trust me girl vive been dating my love for 4 years now from 9th grade all the way till now. Im pretty confident with my advice. Ive been through it all

[lucidkitty]

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BrookStoned wrote:

Girl snooping is fine. Never put to much faith in a guy. Don't do it constantly though. I f you have a gut feeling that you need to check it listen to it. And yes stay with him it was an accident,but let him know he wrong and make it known Don't be soft and become a pushover girlfriend. He needs t find another way to deal with jealousy. You guys should sit down and talk about the what ifs and buts in the relationship and see where his mind is. Trust me girl vive been dating my love for 4 years now from 9th grade all the way till now. Im pretty confident with my advice. Ive been through it all

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This is terrible advice.

[boomtiing_ox]

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BrookStoned wrote:

Girl snooping is fine. Never put to much faith in a guy. Don't do it constantly though. I f you have a gut feeling that you need to check it listen to it. And yes stay with him it was an accident,but let him know he wrong and make it known Don't be soft and become a pushover girlfriend. He needs t find another way to deal with jealousy. You guys should sit down and talk about the what ifs and buts in the relationship and see where his mind is. Trust me girl vive been dating my love for 4 years now from 9th grade all the way till now. Im pretty confident with my advice. Ive been through it all

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if you snoop in your relationship then it must be really good, feel of trust and no insecurity..lmao