Pregnancy

[daniellecw0525]

So this is really my last resort, I don't have many to turn to. But my husband and I are both in the Army and I am 19 weeks pregnant. It was extremely unplanned (I was supposed to deploy) so this whole thing started off on a bad note because I was not happy about it at all at first and because of my beliefs, I could never abort a child, I couldn't live with myself. When we first found out, my husband didn't really seem all that thrilled either (he has 2 other children from a previous marriage). I managed to get over my disappointment of not being downrange with my friends, and I started to get really excited. My husband was still deploying at the time so he had training so he didn't go to my first couple apppointments. But as time has gone on, he's been going out more and more and leaving me at home. All my friends are getting ready to deploy, and with my friends and I being in our twenties, none of them really want to hang out with the pregnant chick (which I understand, I can't go out to the bars and drink anymore). Also, I'm in Georgia and my entire family lives in Arizona and Colorado and since I'm in the Army, I can't just drop everything and go see them. However, they also seem to not really talk to me much anymore either. I just feel so alone, correction; I'm always alone. I should be happy, I'm about to find out if my baby is a boy or girl, and any day now I'll be able to feel my baby kick but none of this really excites me, I'm just always thinking about how no ones there for me and I'm married, I should have at least one person there for me. I'm not sure what to do anymore, I'm sorry for such the long rant, but any ideas on how to not feel as lonely anymore? What can I go do being pregnant where I can feel happy again?

Thanks for reading.
XOXO

[flamingoccm]

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I should be happy, I'm about to find out if my baby is a boy or girl, and any day now I'll be able to feel my baby kick but none of this really excites me, I'm just always thinking about how no ones there for me and I'm married, I should have at least one person there for me. I'm not sure what to do anymore, I'm sorry for such the long rant, but any ideas on how to not feel as lonely anymore? What can I go do being pregnant where I can feel happy again?

Thanks for reading.
XOXO

I'm just speculating here, but I imagine you're not the only pregnant woman on base. I wonder if there might be some sort of group? At least then you'd be able to talk to women in the same situation as you. As far as your husband goes, it can take some time for guys to accept the reality of pregnancy. However, it's not like your husband hasn't gone through this with his other daughters, so maybe you need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. 

Also, pregnancy isn't an illness. There's no reason you can't go out and have fun. I know it's not the same to go to the bar and not drink, but that doesn't mean you can't go! Call your family more if you want to talk to them. Find a group in your community. Get a hobby. There are about a million things you can do to meet new people that doesn't involve alcohol. 

[Nyctimene]

Second flaming.

You can still go *to* the bar, you just can't drink *at* the bar. Go and order water or soda pop. You still get the socialization that way. :-)

And I've heard from lots of other army wives that there's lots of groups on bases. There's got to be some sort of support group for pregnant soldiers or just generally pregnant people in/around the army. I'm not sure what they call the 'community' center on a base but if there is one, you should check there.

[girlgirl411]

First of all, you deserve some serious points for being in the army. Thanks for making our world safer! Now, pregnancy isn't bad. I'm pregnant too, and I know how it feels to be away from what you do. Just pray about it and think on it.

[daniellecw0525]

Thank you all for the responses, I have tried to look into these community groups on base, however, they are during work hours, and I have been told that work is more important than socializing with civilian army wives, so that was a no go. I have gone to the bars before but its really not the same, no one really talks to me while I'm there I just sit by myself while they go have fun, I'm just a good DD lol. I'm just looking for a hobby that I could do while my battles are deployed since my unit is leaving in a few short weeks. I've talked to my husband last night and hopefully, he listened. I guess I should've figured that many would stop talking to me since I'm not longer deploying with them, but that's just the Army and it happened to abruptly I wasn't ready for it. Any hobby ideas? Thanks again. XOXO

PS: @girlgirl411; thank you, I wish I could do more and actually defend our country, but my baby is now my number one priority. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that feels split from what they do. 

[flamingoccm]

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daniellecw0525 wrote:

Thank you all for the responses, I have tried to look into these community groups on base, however, they are during work hours, and I have been told that work is more important than socializing with civilian army wives, so that was a no go. I have gone to the bars before but its really not the same, no one really talks to me while I'm there I just sit by myself while they go have fun, I'm just a good DD lol. I'm just looking for a hobby that I could do while my battles are deployed since my unit is leaving in a few short weeks. I've talked to my husband last night and hopefully, he listened. I guess I should've figured that many would stop talking to me since I'm not longer deploying with them, but that's just the Army and it happened to abruptly I wasn't ready for it. Any hobby ideas? Thanks again. XOXO

PS: @girlgirl411; thank you, I wish I could do more and actually defend our country, but my baby is now my number one priority. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that feels split from what they do. 

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They're seriously all during work hours!? Who didn't think that one through. Maybe you could still try reaching out to these women? I'm sure someone's got a weekend free! 

I'm not sure why people should stop talking to you just because you're growing a tiny human and they're going off to war. That doesn't make any sense at all, but I'm not in the military.

What are you interested in? Art, Outdoors, etc...It would help to narrow it down. 

[girlgirl411]

You can do what I did, I wrote during my pregnancy with my first baby and I'm doing it now with my second. What you do is whenever you get an idea write it down. Keep building it up. After a while, you'll have an entire story.