Pregnancy

[crystalxoxo]

for those who have chosen not to breastfeed and use formula.. what are your reasons for the decision? 

did you try to breastfeed and give up or there was a reason it didnt work out?? or you just went straight to formula? 

im just curious because there seems to be a trend of younger moms using formula and i dont understand it, breastfeeding is the greatest thing you can do for your little one..its a lot of work and for me it was really hard in the beginning but i stuck with it cuz i knew it was the best thing for my little guy. im not by any means criticizing those who use formula, it just wasnt an option for me personally. 

[Nyctimene]

That's great that you accomplished your goal to breastfeed :-) A big congrats. It's definitely not easy at all! It's a wonderful feeling to set your mind to it and to stick with it though (when it's what you want).

I think most young mothers use formula because they have other responsibilities. As in they have to go to school and/or work and you aren't going to be pumping at your desk in high school or while standing at the checkout at Walmart. It's hard enough for adult women with real careers to get rooms and time to pump let alone young girls who generally work the kind of minimum-wage jobs that give *zero* benefits or flexibility and you're lucky to get a 10 minute break just to eat lunch. There's just no possibility of pumping for so many because of that.

And also because they've grown up as part of a culture where breastfeeding is shunned and viewed as dirty. Almost 99% chance that their mothers did not breastfeed them and thus it's foreign and they are very unlikely to breastfeed their own children. There really has not been a solid generation of breastfeeding mothers in a long while.

Teens are more susceptible to peer pressure so if most of their friends are formula feeding, even if they were breastfeeding or wanted to they probably won't go ahead with it or continue and be the odd one out.

Personally I did breastfeed because I felt it was the best but it was very hard. My son took five days in hospital and a lot of equipment and help to figure it out. It was pretty miserable and it took medication and several months for me to get comfortable with it and I always had supply issues. I'm honestly not sure I would do it again personally. Formula is definitely easier.

[crystalxoxo]

Thanks! It was definitely not easy in the beginning, we struggled a lot with getting him latched on and I wanted to give up so badly but I knew it was what was best for him. I mean I wouldn't want to drink formula so I wasnt about to give it to him. 

I didn't really think about girls not having time for pumping and all of that, but that makes a lot of sense. 

I just really feel bad that so many girls I know have tried to breastfeed and have given up so easy or are doing it incorrectly, like not often enough and they dont build up the supply they need. I mean I understand some people really dont have the supply or have other issues with it, but giving up just seems selfish to me. I really wish there was more education out there for young girls and they were encouraged to breastfeed, not just because of nutritional values for baby but theres nothing better then the bond that comes from nursing your baby. 

[Special_K]

My daughter is formula fed.

She had a complication at birth, and was taken immediately to NICU where she spent some time. I pumped while she was here, but didn't get near enough to keep up with her appetite. I spent 2 back to back 6 hour stays, then took a 6 hour nap, then went back for another 6 hours. That is how my day went every day from the time she was there, until the time she left. They bottle fed her when I wasn't there, so the would not latch every time I tried. I missed that first breast feeding bond at birth. So between that and her being in NICU, she didn't get it. It completely devastated me that I couldn't get her to feed. It stil gets to me 6 months later.

Anywho, I pumped and my milk started drying up. I am allergic to reglan so I couldn't use that to help. So it dried up and we used formula ever since. I hope to breast feed my next child, but I now know that there are other things that can mess up the plan, so I won't be as hard on myself if it doesn't work out in the long run.

[Nyctimene]

But the problem I think is that people assume that breastfeeding = bonding, PERIOD and it's just not true.

If you *want* to breastfeed than you'll probably feel that bond. And if breastfeeding isn't too demanding on you. But if you *don't* want to breastfeeding than being socially pressured into breastfeeding is going to ruin any chance of bonding. Or if it's too demanding.

Books say babies should eat every 2-3 hours. Well, my son wanted to nurse every 30-40 minutes around the clock for months and months and months. If I tried to get my nipple back he would wake up and scream endlessly. Needless to say I got nothing done, felt trapped being unable to even take a long shower without pausing to nurse him, not having a single day out without him in a year, etc. These are not 'happy breastfeeding' qualities. I lumbered on out of that "Formula is poison!" kind of drum and as such I basically hated his entire first 14 months and have zero good memories of that time because I was just a milking machine, not a person. I tried bottles, he wouldn't take any and I tried dozens. I tried pumping, it never worked for me.

There's just so much more to breastfeeding and the dynamic of bonding with your baby than being so black and white as "If you breastfeed, you'll bond!" "If you breastfeed, you're a mother who tries harder for what's good for your child than if you don't!"

If you love your child, that's what matters. There's so many ways to bond with your baby that go far beyond any sort of feeding at any age. :-)

[crystalxoxo]

every 30-40 min?! I cant even imagine! My little boy did every 2 hours for the first month and now were doing every 3 hours sometimes every 4 at night. I just started pumping as well to build up a supply so he can be fed while I'm at school and I'm nervous about it, I have no idea how hes going to react to a bottle cuz hes never had one. I wouldnt even give him a pacifier til he was 6 weeks old and he'll take it occasionally but doesnt seem interested.

[Special_K]

I totally agree on the bondig aspect. The baby makes the bond. It doesn't always mean the mother can for various different reasons.

When my daughter wouldn't latch on, and would cry like she was dieing, it made me feel so inadequate. But I won't let that experience ruin me on trying like hell again with my next.

I believe it takes courage to go through the motions for 14 months because its best for your son. Some women believe that since it might have come easy for them, that those who don't or can't, are selfish and like you said a bad mother. While formula feeding has become too much the norm for my beliefs, it's better than nothing when it's all said and done.