I think you need to try and find a partner who you really care about (emotionally) and who is willing to be patient and to take time to learn about your body with you. In my small amount of experience it has become quite apparent to me that sex would not be enjoyable at all if I didn't have a partner who had a high degree of respect and truly wanted to take time to make sure I was enjoying the act as much as he was.
If you've already had a partner like this and things are still not working out, you have two options.
1) keep practicing, and hopefully in time you will learn what works
2) give up on sex...
Some people think it's kind silly to choose to be abstinent, but I don't see the problem. If you don't like sex, why bother? I've enjoyed the community at asexuality.org quite a bit. I don't think I'm asexual per se, but I can well relate to such feelings of low interest in sex (though I don't like labels much, I personally feel that I'm demisexual). It's worth looking into.
On the other hand, if you want to continue to try and explore your sexuality, you just need to do some reflection about how you feel with intimacy. It's possible that you went to fast into having sex, and need more time to get comfortable with a partner before you actually have sex. There's nothing wrong with that, we all have different needs. If you are involved witha guy that is expecting you to love sex, I highly reccomend rethinking your relationship. He should not expect you to enjoy sex. He should want you to enjoy it, but respect your feelings if you dislike it and would rather not have sex. That said, if you don't want to have a sexual relationship with him, it is understandable that he may prefer to be in a relationship with someone who will.
I know sometimes it's intimidating. It's like, if he's enjoying the physical contact so much, why aren't you? I've questioned myself numerous time, wondering what's wrong with me for not getting off from making out or being physically affectionate with someone. I've contemplated if I was lesbian or asexual or just screwed up. I finally realized that I was just someone who needed a proper emotional foundating in order to really enjoy a physical relationship. Although it is not true of all females, in my experience, it is not odd either (to need such an emotional foundation.
The thing that really ended my questioning on that was the few times when I was able to be intimate with someone and I really felt something. It wasn't blah or unpleasurable. It was instead really intoxicating and fantastic. I know now that I just need to respect my own emotional needs (and only be involved with someone else if they respect my needs as well). If I do not do this than I cannot have those wonderful feelings that come about in a relationship.
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