Boards
i have nobody all my friends left me for no reason none at all except for one who is too busy for me. i feel like nobody can deal with me. my parents hate me my mother tells me daily. i have nobody to talk to at all about things im so fcked up and i cant do anything about it except sit in my room and cry every day nobody loves me and thats the honest to god truth if i were to kill myself nobody would care. people tell me im annoying and i feel so ugly all the time i have to self confidence i sit in school thinking abotu killing myself becuase of how sad i am all the time. i try to do sports but i end up quitting because i have no motivation to go and i suck i try really hard not to but i just cant. im failing al my classes and i have so much pressure on me and i cant deal with it anymore i want it all to end but i ant bring myself to do it i have nobody to talk to the guidance counselor is a joke how do i get everything to stop i want everything to end
I'm so sorry that you are feeing such awful feelings. Trust me, I've been there. Even though I've dealt with similar monsters, that doesn't mean that I can competely understand your situation. I'm not you, and neither is anybody else. So nobody knows exactly how you feel and nobody ever really can.
I do know how tempting suicide can sound, and I know I sound like a broken record, because EVERYBODY says this: but it really does get better. I used to think people were lying, and sometimes when the negativity seeps back into me, I still believe it doesn't. But then I realize that all that negativity is negativity...so of course it's lying. It really does get better.
I went through a year and a half of cognitive behavioral therapy, and I came out the other side SO much happier. Am I happy 24/7? Of course not. But who is? We're human beings and even those people who have that creepy smile on their face and seem to have absolutely no problems all the time cry and break down behind closed doors every now and again. The main thing is to recognize the sadness, but not to ruminate on it. Realize your feelings. Feed them for a very short period of time. Recognize them. Feel them. Be human. But then find some distractions, and reasons to love your life.
I really really do believe that counseling is a very good thing. Sometimes it's a hard thing to do, but it is 100% worth it in the end. I promise you. And even though I've been through depression and anxiety myself, I can say that I've had friends go through it too. And that was very hard for me. Not only is it hard to be around someone so negative constantly, but it is difficult to see someone you love so much go through so much pain. Really though, I'm sure they didn't leave you for good. It's probably the negativity talking.
It might be helpful to get out more often and do more things. While it might sound hard to do in the beginning, you will never regret doing it. Exercise is very helpful. It's also something you never regret doing. Get yourself on a good schedule. Your body likes schedules. Go to bed at the same time every night. Wake up at the same time every morning. If you need help sleeping, take a melatonin supplement. Try doing some progressive muscle relaxation. It helps relax the muscles in your body, it's similar to meditation. You could also try keeping a journal. Research has proven that to be a very helpful technique! Make a list of things in life that have made you happy and try to find a way to make those things happen again. Or make a list of things that would make you happy and do those things. Or simply make a list of things you like about yourself and your life.
I hope I helped at least a little. You are so important, so please don't do anything drastic. There are tons of people who love you, I promise. It's just hard to see it when you're s incredibly sad. If anything, you can always talk to me! Hope things get better for you soon!
