Fooling Around

[AngelLight13]

So, my boyfriend and I have had sex 4 times. I've given him a blowjob, and about 5 handjobs. I've only made him come maybe 3 times. It's been messing with my self confidence. He says it's not my fault, because he was so used to the way he'd masturbate, it's difficult for another method to work. I don't know. I told him it makes me feel like he's not attracted to me, and that I'm not pretty. He told me that was definitely not the case.

I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

[Selo94]

If he can do when he masturbates, I'd suggest you ask him to take your hand and show you exactly how he does it. He may just be one of those guys that takes longer to get there. If you're only spending 10 or 20 minutes trying, it may not be enough for some guys. I'm working on this with my own boyfriend, who doesn't masturbate, so we need to figure it out some.

[Aggie17]

A while back my husband and I tried learning from each other through mutual materbation. We then showed eachother with the other perosn's hand how to pleasure ourselves. Well... It's definitely spiced up our sex lives.

[back@u · Accepted solution]

it's about him not you.. either it takes him time to finish or he's a bit distracted...perhaps both?  if anyone is really worried here it's him because it's frustrating not to finish.. he wants you to be happy so first pay attention to what he does/his reaction and find his sensitive point. then find a way to distract him (that he won't think about his "procrastination").

specific strokes/nibbles are different for every guy. what may had pleased your ex might not do well with this guy (and vice versa). as you do your stuff ask him "how is this/do you like it"..  you can always do some manipulation with the area around his d*** (ie- inner thighs) in any way imagionable.  when you find out exactly what gets him, distract him by looking at him, kissing him.. get him into the game.

don't turn this into a serious "finishing battleground" because nobody finishes under pressure. take it easy, get to know his body as he gets to know yours.  when the atmosphere is easy the both of you will zone out together and things will be great.  remember girl, REACTION! you know your man best. 

[AngelLight13]

Thanks, back@u! I was actually thinking about doing that He's actually rather frustrated now, because as time goes on and he goes through the same routine over and over again, it becomes more difficult to make me orgasm. So I told him since both of us are having trouble, we should try some new things. He says he holds back a lot of his roughness because he doesn't want to hurt me, so I told him to hold back a little less, and if he goes too far, I'll let him know. It's all a learning experience. But yeah, thank you guys! It really helped a lot!

[back@u]

GOOD...good i'm glad the 2 of you talked about it.  the key to a successful relationship (be it romantic or platonic) is communication.  tell everything to each other's faces no matter how sensitive the subject is.  this points out that that the 2 of you have a strong relationship

best of luck