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NewGurl
worriedgurl4321
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎01-06-2013

drunk dad how to tell him i want to live with my mum???

so yerstyday my dad came up to my bedroom and starting saying that im nothing and that im also worthless.In addition to that he started to kick my stuff around.he's olny like that when he's drunk on everyday life he's nice and caring but when he drins i just want to run.me and my mum(she lives in brussels begum)where talkin about me moving to brussels and start school there however that means he'll be left alone here cuz he dosent have any gf or any other family than me living in the uk.however my mum dosent have anyone from her family they all died and also she was a single child so was her mum and dad so no cousins for her.she olny has her fincéé antonio (hes italian)i want to move the but the feeling of leaving my dad behind is killing me becuase on every day like i said he's nice and caring but at nights he makes me cry.i want to move to my mum but what about my dad??plz help

SuperGurl
del677
Posts: 674
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: drunk dad how to tell him i want to live with my mum???

Seek out an Al-Anon meeting. I know they have them everywhere here in the states. I'm not sure about UK. I think it's world-wide.

Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion.
WiseGurl
ayeayeaye
Posts: 145
Registered: ‎05-19-2012

Re: drunk dad how to tell him i want to live with my mum???

That's a really difficult situation you're in. Feeling afraid of seeing a parent end up alone is very common when your parents are divorced and your family is small and usually I'd suggest that you ask your parents for some kind of custody where you could spent alternating days or weeks at each other's house. However, since your mother lives in a different country that's not possible.

 

Have you tried talking to him about it? If not, you should (calmly) try. When he's sober and calm, tell him how you felt scared and worried and ask him to do something. He can seek therapy or professional help if he can afford it and if not look around your area for support groups that are free or cheap (make sure they're legit, by real foundations or health centres). You know him better than all of us do, however so only do this if you feel safe enough doing so.

 

Ultimately addicts are the only ones who can make the final decision to get better. If your dad is not an addict that decision should be even easier to make. Either way, if he refuses or doesn't put an effort into it, your safety and wellbeing should come first. Go to your mum's, tell your dad that he needs to get his life sorted out before you can move in with him again, and hopefully this will work as wake up call to get better - he may not, but there's a strong chance that if he knows you love him and want him to get better so you can live with him that this will motivate him. You can still visit him over holidays and things, and talk to him often. Of course this is only my opinion and it's a very difficult situation, so you should do what YOU think will work for you.

A Gurl to Trust
stayclassy
Posts: 3,920
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: drunk dad how to tell him i want to live with my mum???

How often has he acted this way?? If you feel comfortable, you should talk to him about it when he's sober. Tell him how it makes you feel when he's drunk and that he has a problem, he needs to deal with it before it gets worse.

 

If nothing changes or he doesn't admit to having a problem, you need to pack your bags and go to your mom's if you think you'll be happier there. Alcohol addicts have a lot of work to go through and you may not be able to help him by yourself.


Don’t let your wounds make you become someone you’re not.