Eating Disorder Recovery

[alyssamonea]

Since I was little I've had a phobia of vomiting. During elementary school I stopped eating and I dropped weight. I figured if I didn't eat I couldn't throw anything up. My extreme fear eventually subsided but, it was still there just not so viciously. Then in high school I battled with it too but, nothing like elementary school. Now, here I am. A senior in high school. All through elementary school I stopped myself from throwing up. But, in march of my junior year I contracted the stomach flu. Violent vomiting for 2 days. I was completely traumatized. When I finally recovered, I then contracted food poisoning from subway in june. I had terrible nausea, I became extremely sensitive to everything. The littlest smell, glancing at the toilet, trashcan, unloading the dishwasher, I felt like gagging. I was so scared to eat and I never really got over it. But, my symptoms subsided. I'm still sensitive to some sights and smells, I'm also really sensitive to movement now. However, my anxiety about throwing up is at its all time high. Before the stomach flu I was around 115 pounds. But, my anxiety has become a monster. And I've dropped to 89 pounds. I'm so afraid to eat or feel full in fear that I might vomit. I feel whenever I eat I immediately have a stomach ache. I hate eating. I don't know if it's my anxiety that's creating these stomach aches or if its potentially the food poisoning lingering. (I've had blood tests and they've all came back negative)

Advice, help, suggestions? I could really use it. I feel like I don't have anyone who understands.

[flamingoccm]

Out of curiosity...How exactly did you contract food poisoning from a subway? Biologically speaking, those don't go together. Not that there aren't a TON of fecal-oral diseases you can get from a subway, because frankly, people are gross...but you don't get food poisoning from going on a subway.

When you don't eat for a long time and suddenly start reintroducing food again, your body doesn't know how to handle it.  Compound that with your extreme anxiety, and you're going to experience stomach aches. Also, it would be basically impossible for you to still be experiencing "food poisoning" 6 months later, as your blood tests have shown. Avoiding food doesn't actually prevent you from vomiting either. It's not like it's a requirement to have food in your body when you vomit. You really should see a doctor about your nausea because it's still affecting you, and believe me--there are some fantastic anti-nausea medications out there. You may also want to consider seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist about the phobia. In general, the point you should seek help is when it starts impacting your life, but that ship sailed when you were in elementary school...It's time to really deal with the issue.

[alyssamonea]

I contracted food poisoning from subway the restaurant.

The only thing my blood tests showed were an elevation in white blood cells which were a sign of an infection but the blood tests never showed what the problem was. I too highly doubt that the food poisoning could be lingering but, i think I've just been using it as an excuse for feeling sick.

Thank you though. I'm going to try to talk to my mom about seeking professional help to deal with my phobia.

[hrouns]

It sounds like you have Emetophobia - an intense fear of vomitting. 

more info- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emetophobia

And it also sounds like you have a case of anxiety or PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) due to your previous illnesses.  This is not an eating disorder, per se since your food restriction is not caused by a fear of gaining weight, your body image, or an uncontrollable urge to eat or starve yourself.  This sounds like it is strictly related to this phobia.  Although you probably do not have an eating disorder, you should still seek therapy.  It is important for you to get adequate nutrition and address your Emetophobia.  I hope that you can conquer this fear and have a healthy relationship with food again soon!