Eating Disorder Recovery

[Ellie7]

Okay, so I'm 15 (almost 16). When I was younger I LOVED food and I was chubby as a child and got quite big when I was around 11/12. I got tired of being 'fat', and so decided to skip meals etc. to lose some weight. Over about 3 years I've lost about 1 and a half stone (not loads, but I did start eating properly and not skipping meals after a few months). I'm now around a UK size 10/12. I would love to be about a size 8, but I'm not sure I could get down to that.

Anyways, over the past few weeks (maybe almost 2 months now?) I've noticed that I get really full really quickly. I know I've had quite big portions of food in the past, but I remember last week when I had a roast dinner at my Nan and Bamp's house, I was genuinely full after a potato and a few forkfuls of veg. That's not normal for me at all, even though I've eaten considerably less for the part year or so. I find nowadays that I can't eat a normal sized meal in one sitting, I won't have much, but then in a few hours I'll be hungry and have some snacks, but I can't sit and eat a meal.

Does anyone know what this could be?:/ I've thought a few times about making myself sick after I know Ive eaten 'too much' and don't feel great, but I haven't done it yet. I have before when I drank some alcohol and panicked and so I made myself throw up so it wasn't inside me anymore (sorry for TMI) but I haven't ever done it with food. I constantly think about it though..:/

I also have depression and I self-harm... so I know I do have other mental problems/disorders..

Sorryif this just sounded like a load of crap, but if this makes any sense.. does it sound like I could be developing an eating disorder? Or am I just being too anxious about it? :/

[flamingoccm]

Anyways, over the past few weeks (maybe almost 2 months now?) I've noticed that I get really full really quickly. I know I've had quite big portions of food in the past, but I remember last week when I had a roast dinner at my Nan and Bamp's house, I was genuinely full after a potato and a few forkfuls of veg. That's not normal for me at all, even though I've eaten considerably less for the part year or so. I find nowadays that I can't eat a normal sized meal in one sitting, I won't have much, but then in a few hours I'll be hungry and have some snacks, but I can't sit and eat a meal.

I go through that sometimes. It's not an eating disorder, just my body. Idk why. But it's like eating an actual meal will make me physicall ill. Idk what it is really, but I feel like it's just a cycle I have. I will tell you that making yourself vomit is a terrible idea. If you feel like eating too much makes you feel sick, I'd try taking something like an antacid. One, making yourself vomit is dangerous. Two, it can become a habit that leads to an eating disorder. Three, it's really just gross. Your breath will always smell like vomit. It will eat away at the lining of your stomach and your esophagus, and will damage your teeth. It'll cause acne and throw off all sorts of things in your body. Really, if you want to be thin, exercise and eat well. There's no reason to be skinny if you're damaging your body too much to enjoy it!