topic Sexuality (or lack thereof...) in Relationship Issues & Advice

Sexuality (or lack thereof...)

appresponse — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 02:31:59 GMT

Hey. Having a sexuality crisis.

I'm 20 and have been dating my BF for 2 years. During that time, and any time before that, I've never been sexually aroused by a person, even him. I love him, but I have no desire for sex at all. I can find people/ideas attractive and be aroused by things, but I've never been aroused by a person or in a sexual situation. I don't even really like kissing all that much. It's meh. I like little pecks, and some short kisses here and there, but that's really it.

So I think I might be asexual. It seems straightforward enough, but I'm on SSRIs for panic disorder, and I have been since I was 15-aka, around when I may have developed a sex drive. I know these meds tend to lower sex drive. So I don't know if it's the pills or I'm just like this. I'd change meds, but I've been on just about every SSRI at this point, and the one I'm on (Zoloft) has been the best for me. I'm not sure where to go from here.

I'd really appreciate some advice right now. This has been making me feel so confused and alone.

Re: Sexuality (or lack thereof...)

mandakim — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 02:38:41 GMT

i just googled and yep, your lack of interest in sex is definitely a side effect of that medication.

i know that's not gonna help you, but at least you can pin down your low sex drive to it.

therre's a heap of stories here http://ask.metafilter.com/137381/Can-my-libido-recover-from-two-months-of-Zoloft from men and women who have the same problem.

Re: Sexuality (or lack thereof...)

appresponse — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 02:54:15 GMT

I guess I'm confused about how to tell if this is an attraction or low sex drive...The first guy on there seems to be attracted to his girlfriend even if he has low sex drive, like he still wants to have sex, but his mind isn't in it right now. Maybe I'm overthinking it. Is that the same thing as really having no interest, which seems to be the case for me?

Thanks so much for answering me. It does make me feel a little better knowing there are other people who've had this problem, too.

Re: Sexuality (or lack thereof...)

mandakim — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 03:14:20 GMT

i guess it'd depend on the person. it would probably affect everybody slightly differently,

do you think you'll be able to get off the meds sometime?

Re: Sexuality (or lack thereof...)

alegnatm — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 03:22:11 GMT

I definitely think your problem is most likely the SSRI medication. It is possible that you could be asexual, but I think it's more likely the meds lowering your sex drive. Have you considered going off of it and see how you feel?
I have anxiety and panic attacks and I just started taking an SSRI for it as well, I've only been on it for 2 weeks, but I haven't really noticed any side effects or any real change yet.

Re: Sexuality (or lack thereof...)

stayclassy — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 15:38:05 GMT

alegnatm wrote:
I definitely think your problem is most likely the SSRI medication. It is possible that you could be asexual, but I think it's more likely the meds lowering your sex drive. Have you considered going off of it and see how you feel?
I have anxiety and panic attacks and I just started taking an SSRI for it as well, I've only been on it for 2 weeks, but I haven't really noticed any side effects or any real change yet.

Angela, I know you previously posted about this and I don't know if I read your reponse on meditation but have you tried it? I would seriously recommend it regularly and see if it helps (I wouldn't say to replace the meds because I'm not a doctor and do not know your situation).

In any case, this is the best guided meditation I have come across:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyy0ra2WcQQ

It relaxed me like no other.

Re: Sexuality (or lack thereof...)

alegnatm — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:04:36 GMT

I haven't tried any full out meditation regimen but I have been trying to listen to calm and quiet music throughout the day since music tends to influence my moods so much. Thanks though I might give it a shot :)