Mean friends

Okay fellow gurls, I need some advice.

Not to sound like a martyr, but nearly every one of my friends is mean to me. There are, like, two who aren't. What's the deal?

I'm not talking petty stuff, either. I go to the nice ones and tell them what happened and they always ask me why I'm still friends with said person (and no, I don't give names, cuz I don't believe in gossip...just brings people down).

They say bad stuff about me sometimes or back out of events and hang out with each other. Sometimes they're just really mean to my face and say that everyone hates me. Well. It sure feels like it.

They apologize and I accept them back. I know the obvious solution is to stop being friends, but do understand, this is nearly all of my friends!!! I don't know why! Maybe I'm just vulnerable or some shit, I can't figure it out, cuz I'm nice to them and I never gossip.

So, is it really me, probably? Or is it just that freakin everyone gangs up on me? What do I do??? What's wrong with me?

"I go to the nice ones and tell them what happened and they always ask me why I'm still friends with said person"

Yeah, they always ask that question, ?and while they're asking it they're thinking, 'I sure as hell wouldn't be'. ?They're asking if you enjoy being such a doormat, whether you get some sort of weird pleasure from constantly forgiving and remaining 'friends' with people who enjoy being unfriendly to you.

As you say yourself; 'I know the obvious solution'. ?Yes you do, but I don't think you've any intention of taking it. ?The whole situation can be summed up in one word...'Fukinhilarious'

Ehhhhh...I mean I guess so? But I think you're missing the point. If it was just people being shitty to me, I wouldn't need a post. It's that it's nearly every one of my friends and I'm wondering why/if anyone else has had a similar experience...and what they did or would hypothetically do. Cuz again, if I drop all of them I'm alone and I still have to see them everywhere.

And brilliant job bringing my username into it, sooo witty and funny. It's not hilarious to me. Thanks for the advice but it generally helps to use compassion, or something, when you're giving it instead of calling me pathetic. I'm not going to take that here too.

?I hope you find some advice more to your liking, Fukinhilarious. It's a very unusual situation where almost everyone who used to be nice to you and who you got on well with (the reason you became friends with them in the first place) should change their behaviour and act in the opposite way. I expect that in 99.9% of such cases there has been some specific incident or some development to trigger this turn about. And that it needs to be identified and put right. Although you say 'if I drop all of them I'm all alone' the reality does sound as if by their behaviour they've already dropped you? So, personally I wouldn't persevere with the constant forgiveness approach.

With no clues as to what went wrong, and I'm sure something must have, then I fear it will be a struggle to work out how to put things right. You've certainly not lacked in compassion, endlessly forgiving your 'friends' only for them to then again act in the same way. ?Hopefully someone else can give you some better ideas.

Good luck,

Mx

Well....thanks, xxmelonyxx. The truth is they weren't ever nice to me once we got to know each other. But I did take the obvious solution.

It was kinda hard at first, but now I'm so much happier even though I only have like 3 friends. You were right. Thanks.

So I think this group can be summed up pretty simply. One girl, didn't tell me she liked certain guys until after I started dating them. She never got mad exactly, but she got cold. And I think she turned some of the others against me, who were already ready to dislike me since I outdid them in school and the music program we are in which is really freakin competitive. So...enough of that. Lol.

I'm SO much happier. I didn't realize how much they stressed me out.

That's nice to hear some good news. You might not have the quantity of friends, but of those you do have, you can be sure of the quality. And knowing that they are real and genuine friends is reassuring. I can tell that you'd be a kind and valuable friend to them also.

 

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