I'm 23, and I've been a virgin untill the very recent days... And sooo excited to share my experience! It may be useful for gurls who are still in doubt they are ready in mind and body to get their relationship to another level... And I simply am too full of emotions about it, so here's a shout-out:)
What I can tell to those who doubts if they are "too old"? It's your decision. No one else's.
I simply hadn't had free time to date, or boyfriends were not of my type. At last I met 'The One And Only Guy' almost a year ago. We have a lot in common and have some connection in our professions, so this is a man I want to have by my side forever.
He is 2 years younger than me, virgin too. Yes, NOT being religious, for almost a year we kept our clothes on! Simply there wasn't a good time. We wanted it to go perfect, no 'let's do this while my parents are on shopping':)
I can tell you something useful, I hope. At least for all of those who aren't into extreme and wants it to be purrfect too:)
- Your first time must be based on reliable relationship. When you know everything about each other, you sure can feel a bit shy when, say, your bra is being unzipped by your beloved for the first time, but not too much:)
- A guy shouldn't force you. But neither should yourself. Once we had some good time on a foreign tour together, and there was a single night in a hotel... We both were eager for it, buuuut... We had a quarrel that day. Nothing serious, but the mood was lost... Serves us right.
- The more time you have, the better. Running forward, we spent a whole night, but the... well, proccess took about 3 hours. Totally worth it.
-As I said, shyness and awkwardness... Is kinda normal, especially if you both are virgins. May be hard to imagine, but for a guy taking your virginity is as serious business as for you! We were talking a lot before and a lot after the deed, amused with each other's feelings. He said that in some moment he felt like performing a surgical operation:) So that's why he became so serious, and not because our little misfire... Should've told me earlier. I was a bit embarassed and thought I made something bad to his mood.
It must be LONG. It should begin when you are sitting side by side, and last untill the very end. That's where we made a mistake, making things hot too fast.
No, we enjoyed ourselves long enough, stripping each other for almost an hour (some barriers are hard to fall when you simply feel shyness... But I end up laughing at him when he tried to 'casually' unzip my bra :D). But then, first time seeing each other full nude and suddenly feeling confidence, it is easy to think that you are ready as hell to get to it!
- Intercourse, or what it supposed to be?
It is always told: no rush. They say right. OMG, I thought, my boyfriend is simply too shy to make it at last - he insisted on more of a touching and caressing stage. But I lost my mind. So just a couple of minutes we got undressed, I took the initiative (and everything else:)) in my hands and tried to be on top.
The awkwardness began when it simply seem to don't... Errrgh, fit?
I will explain. They say, the more lube, the better. The more aroused you are, the more natural lube you have.
It was so intimate and awesome when we touched each other with our clothes still on, so I completely lost my head and became too itching for 'the real deed'. My boyfriend wanted to keep exploring, but I thought: 'I'm not so fragile, I'm ready!'.
So, when I tried 'Girl on top' pose, I simply couldn't get him inside of me. Then he pushed himself to help... And I jumped back off. It was too painful.
It was something we didn't expect. We spent some time simply cuddling and talking, but occasionally he took his role. So the foreplay began from scratch, only this time we were undressed, and I let him take the lead.
Surprisingly, it wasn't too awkward already, we simply decided to make everything we can and show each other what we want.
When he reached my inner lips and clitoris, I tried to return the favor with my hand, but soon he said I am doing it too well and he won't last long:) He had the point.
The thing is my boyfriend simply kept it on and on. He stimulated me untill I reached my orgasm, slowed down, then slowly inserted a finger inside.
I was surprised, but it slipped in well, just with a small pain somewhere at the intrance.
So, to reach an orgasm means to provide you with the best lubrication, and it DOES work. Of course, I've known myself for a good long time, so I helped him to deal with this part of me:)
I felt relaxed and comfortable. And this is the stage when you are really ready.
He still had his condom on, now too dried, we wasn't sure if it is still ready to be used (then it didn't seem so funny to discuss). So I felt that it is good for our first oral attempt, too:) And again, soon he said that it is too good, as he wants to endure long.
- Intercourse (once again):). He changed his condom and began to examine how to line it up. For us it is not a big deal, but a guy who sees a girl parts for the first time really doesn't know how to handle us.
We tried the 'Missionary' this time. He started the penetration gently, and it was a pleasure for us to cuddle and finally feel getting close as ever, but I felt pain again. Not as excruciating as before, but... It made me push him away a couple of times.
But he kept it on. He simply touched me everywhere, and very rarely and slowly tried to push a bit in.
That's how it worked. He presses a little in, I feel pain and push him back with my hand. He pulls out, we cuddle a little, touch each other, then he 'accidentally' slips the penis right into me, presses a little... Repeat and repeat.
And then suddenly during one iteration he asked me if I'm still in pain, because seems like that is it...
Strangely, we become shocked:) This crowning moment when you both lean out a little to have a look, see IT fully inside and realize what happened :) It appears I simply made the things up pushing him away as in pain. I didn't even realize the moment when the deep petting turned into actual sex:)
We cuddled a little more, going to keep it up more confidently, but the very few full thrusts... Yeah, he couldn't hold on and orgasmed. When I juuuust got into the taste!
It was a good time to remove the blanket I laid on (I bled, but it's not as scary as it sounds), and to congratulate each other. My boyfriend felt guilty for quick release, but I convinced him he wasn't.
This is quite natural for a virgin guy to reach climax just minutes when fully 'in action zone', so I think it was wise to re-enter multiple times instead of constant stimulation. Or wasn't it?..
- Back again.
It was a surprise, but the entering from anew hurt me a little. We tried 'Missionary' again, so it was again time for me to adjust. It wasn't so bad as before, but the sensation is weird and a little painful. When the pain subsided after several minutes of smooth and careful motions, I asked my boyfriend to let us switch the roles.
Now when I was on top, it became PERFECT from the beginning. I couldn't say I reached my orgasm from the penetration itself - he helped me with a hand while I was too busy to hold my weight against his chest while working 'down there' - but it was great. So great that we quickly forgot some awkwardness :)
What can I say, is that the main things are communication and reliability of your partner. I simply can't imagine how to get over some shyness and awkwardness with the person you can't discuss EVERYTHING (like the angle it is better to enter you or how strange those sounds are:)).
Well, waiting for THAT long now seems for us like a waste of good times, but having whole house for a whole night at our services, I think, worth it.
And yes, beware: the next time is going to hurt a little just at the very entrance for the beginning. Let it not freak you out, just repeat one-two finger stimulation if you want, and you'll be perfect.
I hope I've encouraged some shy 'old virgins' to keep on finding the correct man to make it purrfect :) And in any case provided you with some good secrets told to me by mine:)