VERY confused! Need help!

So I'm going to try and say this with out being to detailed or long. Not this last summer but the one before, my friend Ashley and me got to her house after wrestling and we begged her mom to let us keep our singlets on because they were fun and she said yes and we ran to her room to play. We were wrestling and I wound up on her but she kept trying to push me with her foot so I grabbed it and moved it...so, uhhhhhh....ya I think a lot of you get what I mean. So she said oh my gosh they're touching and I said but it feels kinda good to! So we kept wrestling like that rubbing them together before her mom came in and we jumped and were freaked out! But she told us dinner was ready so we said we could try that again when we were going to sleep. We went to bed and when we knew no one wood hear us, we sat between each other's legs and pushed each other with our bodies and I pushed her back again and picked 1 of her legs up and we rubbed together like before and it was fun but then Ashley said she wanted to take the singlets off and try it in our panties so we did. We started to grab each other's arms and pull together when we both said something and laughed but she said if we locked the door we should try doing it naked and we got excited and locked her room and took our panties off to and got on the bed again and laid-back together and grabbed each other's hands and rubbed together that way.

It was REAL fun and feels REAL soft and we kept going until we both felt what we called the pop for a few funny reasons and that's when we stopped and went oto sleep but in the morning we wanted to do it again but we made rules and an real game out of it but I won't explain that and we thought we were smart when we called it scissor fighting... We've been doing this ever since then and then we showed a friend who wanted to know how and she does it too and we got dumb and did it in the showers after swimming so some of the swimming girls know at school and do it to but now we know. When we got back from winter break last month we had to do sex education here and the girls were all put in a room so a bunch of us knew each other but during the movie it started talking about gay sex and how to girls could like each other but then it showed us what to girls might want to do together and I heard a bunch of girls gasp and start to whisper because, their up on the screen were two girls obviously trying to scissor fight like us! But now I know its called something else and why it felt so good DX!

But now Im really confused because I want to stop but it's SO MUCH fun and this horrible girl said that she knew that we were doing that and that she would tell the teachers if we didn't let her to! ALOT of the girls aren't talking to each other any more and Ashley and me haven't hanged out since January D':! I'm really freaked out that i might lose my bestfriend forever or the teachers and my parents will find out and then idk what they'd do because I don't think I'm gay because I like guys but want to keep doing it!

Am I broken?! What should I do?! I feel like every thing is going too fall apart and my life is going to be over! Is any of this normal I think I just want someone too tell me that I'm not a freak or something. D:

I was in kinda the same situation a few months ago and it didn't end well. Me and my best friend were fooling around and we would practice kissing on each other. we aren't friends anymore but not bc of that. For a while I wasn't sure if I was stright but then I met Abby and now i'm pretty sure i'm bi. if I were you I woud talk to Ashley and see if she still wants to be friends with you. If you guys do become friends again I don't think you should do THAT anyore, it might mess up you friendship. i only say that because if my old best friend and i were sill friends and she found out i am bi she probably would think i liked her and well you get the point. you're not broken you're just in a sticky place. and your life is not going to fall apart. do you really think that girl would tell anyone? i mean that would be a really akward if she had to talk to a teacher about gay sex. btw i don't think you're a freak. ? ?

^Agreed^ Try to make amends with Ashley.
While you made errently decided to get off on school property, it's not the end of the world. In most likelihood, she's not going to say anything because blackmailing isn't a cool thing...

Thanks guys sorry it took me forever to reply! I didn't think any one was going to reply for obviously reasons but I wanted to tell you guys that Ashley and me are friends and still hanging out. We actually agreed because we're best friends and really close that we can keep doing it as long as we're private at like sleepovers and not doing it with every one. >< We tried to also get all the other girls to stop but now its this game everyone is playing together and we go to a large school so I'm just afraid that some one would find put or know if it was us that started it but I don't think that the one girl I told you guys about is going to say anything anymore. But I'm really nervus that the teachers will find out and some one will say they all learnt it from Ashley and I. But it's almost the end of the year so we just have to make it until then and then we're going to go on vacation with our families together!

But I am just happy that Ashley and me are still friends and I wanted to thank you guys for your help and advice and support! :D I'm also real happy that we learned about that in class and they taught us about it because some of us wouldn't have known for a long time but I kind of also wish it was maybe a year earlier? I don't know but thanks again girls and I really love that you guys took the time to give me a serious response. Thank you so much! :D

 

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