I miss him

My longterm boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. It started with one of our Talks while we were high and he told me he thinks he's holding me back and that I should go live with my parents and go to the nice university where they live 3.5 hours away. He swore up and down that he would put forth the effort to do a long distance relationship. He even did the next day when we were sober. I agreed to do it, but I was still upset about it. A week before I was supposed to move, he broke up with me while I was in the shower saying he wasn't the right guy for me and that he didn't know what he wanted and that he didn't think he could do a long distance relationship. I texted him that night to talk about it more. He contradicted himself saying that whoever put their piece of shit 2 cents in said that LDRs don't work and that you'll end up resenting each other (it was a little late for that) and then goes on to say that if he had gone through with it that we'd end up getting married and he wasn't ready to do that. I did want to marry him, but not anytime soon. He also said he wanted to meet new people. What sucks is that for the last week or two, I had been thinking of ways to try to bring up getting engaged sometime in the future. Oh and he timed it to when I had fallen back in love with him again. And the day after he did it, we actually had a pretty good day together. We hung out, messed around a little, talked, went out and ate, what I thought was a good time. The next day, nothing. It's like I didn't mean anything to him. He told me he was ready to move on and that he wasn't ready to be so committed to someone. It hurt so much that I felt nauseous. It still hurts. I thought we were doing better and that we were getting happier. We agreed to still be friends, and we're supposed to meet halfway in a couple of days to hang out. Don't judge me for still wanting him back. We lived together for half the time we were together, he was my first everything, and one of my only few friends. We were very involved in each other's lives and I feel like a large part of my heart has been ripped out. I want to think he still thinks about me and that maybe a part of him wants me back now that he's seen what it's like without me. I guess I'm asking for stories from people in the same situation who had a happy ending and that maybe there's still hope. I've been trying to move on with my life, but moving on from him has proven to be much more difficult.?

I felt the same way when my long term reltionship ended. It sounds like he didn't want to hurt you and wanted you to just be happy in the end which is great. I understand wanting him back since he was more than just your partner but also a great friend. But if he doesn't want you back maybe it's not even because of you. Maybe its just cause he needs his time away from the relationship. Or if it's just not working. Maybe he doesn't feel the way he does anymore. He really sounds like he doesn't want to hurt you at all.

I totally understand that you'd be missing him, I can relate. Maybe he's decided to break up because his self worth isn't very good and he thinks you can do better? you might have to support him so he feels he can stay with you and carry out the long distance thing. I see that this is an older post though, how's it going now?


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