I just need a place to rant about this guy. It's been a while since I've liked a guy this much and it feels so good :) :) :) :) He's two years younger than me...I'm a senior and he's a sophomore. But you know what? I don't care anymore. Because he has the sexiest voice and the most amazing smile and beautiful green eyes and adorable freckles and crazy curly hair and I almost had a heart attack this one time when I thought I saw him at Taco Bell. I saw his older brother (who's in my grade) walk in with someone, and I thought it was him so I looked to see who it was. Saddly it wasn't him but afterwards my heart was beating really hard and I was shaking so much and I felt so weak that I could barely lift my taco and I couldn't even talk to my mom who was trying to have a conversation with me because I was so out of breath. Ugh why is he soooo amazing?!?! Why do I melt every time he freaking smiles!!?!??!!?!? I want to kiss him and hug him and hold his hands and walk down the halls at school together and I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY. Or think. Or what faces they make behind my back because he's just amazing. The end (for now).
You're welcome to rant about you're crush :)
My friend Sasha introduced me to this really hot sophmore, Dave. Dave ever barely comes to school, and I was interested in someone so I didn't even think about it. Not to mention Sasha had a hee-uggee crush on this dude. However, Sasha got a boyfriend that she fell madly in love with. & I started to see Dave a little more clearer. He's really shy, and not much of a talker. But I found it so adorable. I became better friends with him, and we talked alot on MSN. Now, my heart flips s,h,i,t every time I see him online. The looks are a bonus, but his personality just makes me smile. He isn't into hard-core drugs, or smoking. But he is into alcohol like me. I invited him to get drunk with my and Sasha friday, but because he is SO shy, he doesn't like to hang out all the time. Sometimes he is a pain the ass to convince, but it's all worth it when I talk to him before I go to bed. :]
So there's this boy... he's tall, sweet, wicked cute, smart, funny, a really great friend, cool to talk to, and he's just amazing. His blonde hair and blue eyes just add to my amazement! Plus I feel like I can talk to him about like everything and he's wicked nice. Like, he doesn't think I'm weird because I do stuff with my friends. Although, I would like to hang out with him more outside of school. Sometimes I just can't help smiling when I look at him, he's amazing.
His name is Ben, by the way.
I don't know why, but I really like this boy. He's rumored as a player, and I can honestly believe that. I have been trying to successfully talk to him for a really long time, but always wind up ignoring him and talking hyperly to my friends instead. Or I sit in a corner and don't talk to anybody. I met him through ballet and he's actually a pretty good dancer. I just get so nervous around him I go insane. But he is really nice and my friends and I keep seeing him smiling at me.
He's easily the sweetest guy I've ever met, and one of the people I trust most in the world. My friends don't like him, but they honestly don't know him. He's my first kiss, and I can honestly feel myself falling further for him every minute. I trust him with everything, and no matter what the drama, I can talk to him about it. He's got the softest hair and the most drop-dead gorgeous eyes. I feel like I'm drowning in them when I look at him. Kissing him is like a rush. When I'm in his arms, I never want to leave, because it's the safest place I know. If he left, I wouldn't know what to do, because it would be like losing a bit of myself. His crooked smile is all I need to turn a rainy day of mine around. He makes me feel beautiful. His mother is like my second mother, and I see so much of him that he took from her. He says I make chocolate cake look bitter, and that he loves my eyes, and he makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine by doing nothing at all. I love when he texts right back, or for no reason, or if he texts first thing in the morning or last thing at night. I love those precious seconds where I just look at him and he looks at me, and I feel like the luckiest girl on this earth. I love when he looks at me and he just smiles. No words are needed. I can honestly say that I adore him more than I ever have with anyone else, and I can't see that changing.
God, I have such a love-hate relationship with my crush. We met at the beginning of this school year, and he's in my PE class. We have so much in common - we both love singing and dancing, especially ballroom dancing. We both like musicals. We have the same musical taste (which is pretty cool, because I like Korean music that most people haven't even heard of outside of Asian). We're both musicians - I'm a singer and he's a drummer. He's smart but lazy about things he doesn't see the point in doing. We're so alike in some ways, it's scary. XDOh, and I didn't mention he's a gorgeous Korean guy. With a beautiful smile, gorgeous brown eyes, muscular arms, and a nice butt. XD And he's taller than me, which most guys at my school aren't. ;DSo my favorite moment with him was in gym class - we were doing social dancing - you know, stuff like jive and waltz and two step and whatnot. So at this particular time, we were doing two step. I was partnered up with him. There's this position for the two step called the "cuddle position" where the woman spins around so she is beside the man, facing the same way as him, and the man's arm is wrapped around her back and grabbing her other arm... it's difficult to explain. XD Anyway, we were just dancing around the gym when all of a sudden he goes "Let's cuddle!" And I just give him this really surprised stare, not knowing how to reply, because I thought he meant CUDDLE cuddle. And then he starts cracking up and I finally get it, and we're both just killing ourselves laughing. It was so much fun. :DBut other times, he's a dickhead. Like totally sexist, machoistic, egotistic... you name it. I hate it when he's like that. And he's really immature, too, like right now, he has set his middle name on Facebook to "Horse-Ballz." HORSE-BALLZ. Good Lord, this kid... gah, why do I like him so much?
Ugh my crush... lol.
I'm not very flirtatious like at all. I mean, I'll flirt when guys flirt with me first though. And my crush did, but when we first started talking I thought he had a girlfriend so I didn't want to like him. I remember analyzing if touching feet and not pulling away meant the person was into you. Then one weekend I learned he had a girlfriend again. I was so sad and I told him he should probably stop flirting with other girls, and he said he didnt. I got sooo mad because he totally had been, and i'm not just taking about the feet. Like he'd touch my legs, my arms, he flirt with me verbally. I called him a liar and I stopped talking to him for two weeks. (it was over a break, but we would usually text before). I was so reluctant to talk to him again. One day I just did, and of course he had me again. But I was really weary with it. It wasn't until I realized him and my friend were talking about me, that I knew something was up. He said "if i ever break up with my girlfriend, i wouldn't mind talking to you" to her. This made me really excited only because my friend had told me he didn't like me beforehand. Well let's just say I get kind of weird when guys like me. I'm used to having creepers/stalkers so like as soon a guy likes me (even if I like them back!) I get a little freaked out and start pulling away. But now the conclusion is he broke up with his girlfriend, we kissed, and he asked me on a date. It's two weeks away! And it's like BUGGING me soooo bad. Like, what if this doesnt happen? What if he like bails on me? What if we stop talking in between these two weeks? He likes me, I know for sure, but still. Who knows what can happen?? And ugh I really really want it to happen because these things hardly ever work out for me. To get this far is already amazing, my heart will shatter if like something happens. I'm trying to keep positive but man its hard, especially with stupid valentines day coming up and like prom.
So yeah that's my sorta rant lol.
So my is (perhaps unfortunately) my best friend. The boy frustrates the heck out of me, but I adore him. :) We are so much alike: we both love to joke around, we're both musicians, and we both think of tap dancing as second only to music (he took lessons for years, just like me). He's the most stubborn, short-tempered jerk I know, so much so that it's not unusual for one of our friends (or me, even) to be mad at him, but somehow I can't help melting whenever he calls me pretty or smart or when he puts his arms around me. Or when he sings to me. That's the best part. :)
Well im crushin on this dude malik. It's really messed up because he liked me all during middle school but i didnt actually start really seeing him for who he was till this year and now i really like him and he's not even stuttin me...*sigh* it sux.
well, my guy is a senior, and i'm a sophomore. i like him a lot a bit. (: he's much much more experienced than me, and that's what scares me most about him. we seem to be talking most of the day, and he makes me smile more than anyone else. =D my mom's even starting to notice that i'm smiling more when i text him. he's adorable. he always finds a way to make my day so spectacular. he's probably the first guy to make me feel extremely good about myself. (: i like him a lot, and even if it doesn't work out, i've probably made one of the best friends i could have in the past few weeks. =)
Well my crush just wants to be friends. He told me that it would be cool if we were friends. Even though I was stupid and suggested that we be friends didn't mean that he had to go along with it. But I told him that I liked him then i said that I thi k we shouldbe friends and he agreed. But now he's in one of my classes (he moved away for college and then came back) and the first day I saw him at the school he noticed me and smiled at me and then then that day he was in my class and I almost flipped out. I couldn't stop smileing. Then a few weeks passed and we hadn't talked so I said to him "dude you never talk to me anymore" and he was like "cause you never talk to me" then he paused so I was like "hi (insert name here)" and hewas like what's up. Then he was like I talked to you before. And I was like when he was likethe first week of school. Which was like 3 weeks ago but whatever. Like lately I've been trying to drop hints that scream 'I STILL LIKE YOU' but he's to dense to figure it out. Ugh he's so dumb.
I like this guy named Darren, and he's really cute and totally sweet. We're really close, we've known each other for 6 years but I've only started liking him now because before I only thought of him as a friend. And we always hang out and stuff and everyone says that he likes me. But the thing is, I have no clue if he likes me or not, because he's like nice to ALL THE GIRLS. Okay so usually he always does stuff to me that he doesnt do to other girls, but still. And once a friend of mine asked him if he liked me, and he was like "but ____ and_____likes her too, so im not sure.." so I'm like WTF, so he's not going to like me anymore because two other guys he hang out with likes me? I'm so confused right now. And two of my best friends like Darren too. I dont wnat them to be hurt if we actually go out. IF. Its not like we will, though. It doesnt seem like hes interested in me anymore. I wont get all sad and depressed, but its nice if he likes me..AHAA :)Argh.
Ok. Awww ... the guy I have a crush on ... well he's tall, well-built, is an awesome dancer and a gentleman with a really nice smile! Also he has the same beliefs as me, so there's no weirdness there.I met him a little while ago, like just a few weeks ago really ... but you know what? I used to go to the same church as him every Sunday for 6 years and I thought he was a total nutter. And now I'm all googly over him. XDBut now I live about 2 hours north of him. I'm attempting to get his email, and cos our families were friends, if I can also get his phone number and address things could totally come together.
I met crush #1 when we were kids. We played at the firehouse a couple of times. He was really sick when we were little and my mom gave blood to him. I found all this out last week. We haven't talked since we were little kids. He found out about three weeks ago today that I liked him. He told EVERYONE! Worst part is he didn't talk to me and totally thinks I'm a creep :/ but nothing ventured nothing gained. People give him a hard time but I actually thought he was cute...Crush #2 is someone I have Computer Apps and Algebra with. He's kinda my type kinda not...but we have been accused of flirting multiple times. Last time he was joking by saying "Don't deny it it's wrong to lie" when some one went "you and you" asking us if we were together. I've liked about 5 different guys this year but they are my two current, major crushes.
I normally don't speak about my crush, but I really just needed a rant.
My crush, well, in my opinion we're pretty good friends. I like him, a lot, but he probably doesn't feel the same way.
Sitting here writing this has made me realized how much of a mess I am and how I seriously need to tell him about my feelings.
If he doesn't like me back, I'd be heartbroken. But it's better than falling more and more in- I can't say love just yet, but among those lines- with him just to be rejected in the end.
It hurts. His jokes, his smile, everything about him makes me happy. He's different, he's someone I can be myself around.
Love is too hard of a word. I can't say I love him. But I like him, a lot.
But it's too much. I know he likes someone else. He talks about her all the time to me and it's just painful.
Honestly, I'm thankful for his friendship. I don't normally talk to many guys since they're all jerks but he makes everything better.
Which leads to my end result, I don't want to like him like I do anymore so I should just take a break from talking to him.
I don't want to risk our friendship.
I like him so so much. Words can't even explain. His eyes are so blue and his hair is the the most gorgeous shade of blonde. I've known him for a few years now and have always felt some attraction to him, even from the first time I saw him which was when he moved into my form in year 7. Over the past few months, we've grown closer as friends. We text every night and FaceTime atleast once a week. This might sound like it's going well however I don't speak to him in person. This may be because he's quite a reserved person but it's partially my fault as well. The first (and only) relationship I've ever been in was with a guy who I never spoke to in person. I made the mistake of believing other people's feelings over my own and only dated him because everyone said that we should get together. We texted every day but never spoke to each other in school. We were total opposites. When our first date came around I was so nervous and it ended up being a waste of 3 hours. We spoke to eachother twice in the whole 3 hours. I don't want to make the same mistake with this guy. I need to find a way to speak to him properly. I'm spending the next few weekends with him for school stuff so hopefully I'll get to speak to him then but the whole idea of it maybe being awkward makes me so nervous. I feel sick and go all dizzy. It's crazy how that 1 week relationship that happened 2 years ago still effects me now. Yes I'm completely over the dude but the things that happened stuff bother me. We're close friends but hopefully in the next few months we'll become closer, ?if not relationship wise then hopefully friendship wise because I don't know what I'd do if we stopped being friends.?
I have two crushes, which makes things just so much harder!
she is like the moonlight and the stars in the sky and the time in the night where you don't have to be a person; she is so calming. And everything she says makes me feel better about things. She and I have only met once but that night felt like a dream. She was so sweet and kind. I wanted to hug her more but I was too awkward.?
And he is like the sunshine on the other hand. He is all smiles and golden hair and golden eyes and a golden laugh and he makes me embarrassingly blushy and awkward. We are in the same class so I should be used to it. But each time I interact with him all i think about is how fond I am of him. He is like the sun and the ocean and the trees and all the beautiful things in the world.?
Im conflicted because i like them both. I have loved her for a longer time, but i engage in conversation with him more often.?
I created an account on this site just to write a comment here. Also, the person above me is really good with worre. Like, wow, mate, you write poetry or something? Because I would sure like to read it. Anyway. Okay.?
So here's the thing. I started eleventh grade at a new school last year, and knew literally no one. So around the third day of school, I finally got the nerve to go sit with these three girls who seemed friendly because I was tired of being alone all day. And one of them was really good friends with this one guy (let's call him N) from a different class. So during break, this guy and his friend were hanging out outside our class and M (my friend) went up to talk to him. The other two girls told me he was M's boyfriend to tease her, but she laughed it off. I didn't talk to him much beyond something stupid, and neither did
I like him at that point of time. I kind of didn't care. This was July.?
Then came September, and in our country we have this whole Teacher's
which falls around that period, and the eleventh graders
were throwing the teachers
a party. So I was leading the group in charge of the
music, and N was the one who was supposed to mix a few tracks for us. So I had to talk to
him, and we were outside the school, where there are these huge trees shedding their leaves, and I noticed he had these really pretty eyes because they matched the whole /autumn/ aesthetic and I explained the music we needed to him, but nothing beyond ?that. i was really cold and brusque because that's how I get around guys who intimidate me, and he intimidated me for some reason, even though I did not like him.?
Then fast-forward to the middle of the month. We had this inter-school competition, and both M and I were participating. N also joined our team, and we had to put up this street play and yada yada. Now we practiced together for about a week, but I wasn't very comfortable with M because I hadn't known her very long, and I wasn't comfortable with N AT ALL because he was just the intimidating guy with the pretty eyes to whom i said something stupid that one time lol. And because M and N were close and we were the only eleventh graders on the team, he hung out /near/ me a lot. I'm weird in a way that I won't intrude into the conversation of two people who've known each other for ages because it feels too weird and personal and intrusive, so I kept my mouth shut most of the time. Then the day of the actual competition came. We were supposed to put on an impromptu street play, right, and I was the new girl and felt really shy around these people, and when they were bouncing off ideas, I kept getting cut off because I wasn't being assertive enough. So this guy was teally sweet and told the others shut up so I could finally finish what I was saying, and then he was like omg that's really good and the whole group liked it and ran with it. Then when we went to perform it, I was supposed to fall onstage but I fell too hard because these two twelfth graders who were supposed to pretend push me actually pushed me, and I hit the concrete with a very loud sound. I stayed put, though. When the thing got over, this guy immediately walked up to me, with M behind him, and he was like, "you really need to go to the infirmary" and despite my protests they accompanied me to nurse's office and wouldn't leave me. When we went back to our assigned seating areas, he sat with M and me constantly and I was CONVINCED they liked each other. Until. Until. When M moved away, N started trying to start a conversation with me specifically. He was asking me about what sort of music I like, and I mentioned my favourite artists. I'm a huge Swiftie, so obviously I said Taylor Swift, and I heard this really sharp intake of breath from him and was really freaked out something. But because I had also mentioned a lot of rock artists, he asked me if I listened to classic rock, and then played me this song and gave me his headphones. I listened to it with polite interest and then gave them back, saying that it was a 'nice song'. Then I moved away. I didn't want to have a crush in him. I really didn't. And I knew that I was beginning to, so I distanced myself. The rest of the day, I barely talked to him and only talked to m when he wasn't. Then we had the awards ceremony at the end of the day, where the three of us were sitting together. He started teasing M, pointing out guys she might like. Then he turned to me, asking me who I liked, and when said no one and just laughed awkwardly, he was like, "Are you straight?" And I was like, "Lol yeah" and then he asked me if I had a boyfriend. That's just not something you ask someone you barely know! Anyway, I said I didn't. AND THEN he asked me if I'd dated anyone, and at this point it was getting pretty awkward because he was trying to be funny and I was trying not to embarrass myself. I felt he liked me, though, but I wasn't sure. Anyway, I avoided him the remainder of the time, and kind of forgot all about it. Until Monday. Because this was Thursday, you see, and remember that fall I took? I went to the doctor's on Friday, skipping school. Turns out I had a broken finger. So anyway, I see him in school while I'm walking with M and he politely greets us and talks to M, and doesn't even ASK about the plaster on my finger. I mean, yeah, sure, I was distant that day and all, but surely it was only polite to ask about your teammate's injury??
Anyway. Fast forward to October, where we had yet another inter-school event. Only this time it wasn't impromptu and required a lot of effort. M and N were, again, part of it, as was my best friend at the time, T. I was pretty pumped becayse it was a giid team we had, and there were other people that I was excited to be working with. So the teacher assigned me to be the head of the script, right, and I asked everyone to show up to school on. a weekend so we could write it together. Only T and N show up. T and N were friends too, but they weren't really close. And I was trying to minimise my interactions with N. So it ended up being pretty weird lol. But anyway. The outcome of that session was that we came up with a really good story, but I had to write it alone. So I did. There was a time crunch and lots of pressure and tests and stuff, and our teacher was pushing, and no one was co-operating, but I still finished the whole script alone, and by Monday morning it was on the teacher's desk. She was really pleased. Our first read-through was on Tuesday, and I was absent that day because I was sick. So was M. Only T showed up, along with the part of the team I didn't know (and N). So later, she calls me up and tells me that those guys were ripping my script apart and ridiculing it, and that N even said that I deaerved to be expelled, I was so bad of a writer. The teacher gir mad and told them to come up with another by lunch, if they thought they had it in them. Since they couldn't, they atuck to mine. I was hurt but decided to not mention it unless they said something to me personally. So the weeks of practice passed, and N tried to talk to me a couple times and i was polite, but nothing more. On the day of the competition, we WON and everyone was congratulating everyone. He didn't congratulate me, so I went up and congratulated him instead. And then went home and finally admitted to myself that I had a crush on him. I'm so messed up?
the rest of the year passes uneventfully. Then came March 2016. Okay, so the eleventh graders have this tradition of throwing a graduating party for the twelfth graders in April, usually. This is commonly called the 'farewell party'. Anyway. So I was, again, part of the music group for the party. So were a lot of my friends and N. We started practising in March, so when we met up as a group for the first time, I got to know he was a huge Swiftie too (THAT WAS THE REASON FOR THAT BREATH) because we got into an argument about which songs to play. Anyway. The whole group was talking and I was narrating a funny story, and then out of the blue he asks for my number??? Then his friend S (she's a good friend of mine now) said that he just collects numbers or something. I didn't buy it, but I gave it to him. Then that night I was out for dinner with my family and I get a text from him. It's just a simple "Hey I'm N". I replied with some witty remark or something, and then he was like you know you're really funny I genuinely mean that. And then we started texting a little bit, at which point he mentioned that he thought I hated him. I said I didn't, and apologised to have given off that impression lol. Then we talked about music, and he asked me to join their 'jam session' on Monday. I told him I didn't know how to play an instrument, and on Monday, when I poked my head around the door of the classroom we were supposed to be practising in, it was only N and these couple other guys. One of them said that everyone else had bailed so there'd be bo practise. Before N had a chance to say anything, I said okay and left.?
That night, he replied to my text and told me tl listen to this band. In return, I told him to listen to this song as well.?
Then, I asked him whether he'd listened to the song I told him to, and so he replied that the singer had a really nice voice and it was a really beautiful song. Since it was one of those that require interpretation, I asked him what he thought it was about. No answer. He'd left me. On. Fucking. Read.
So I decided I wouldn't talk to him in school until he approached me because I was so embarrassed and okay you don't understand the amount of courage it takes me to talk to someone I like. And I did it. For the first time. Only because I'd felt secure that he'd liked me too, but if he left me on read he obviously didn't, right? I went really petty and (again) avoided him. In school during practice one day, he just upped and randomly started playing Enchanted by TS and I don't know if you've heard it but if you've not, go listen to it immediately it's a beautiful song. It was a lovely cover of it, too, but I didn't say anything because I'm petty. Okay, so we were playing this medley for the graduating class, and he was performing Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, which I'd never heard before. He (again) did a pretty good rendition and everyone complimented him except for me because I was being so petty. And then we didn't talk. Not at the party, not anywhere. Maybe he thought I was ignoring him. Eh. I resolved to get over him in the summer. Easier said than done, though, and by the time twelfth grade rolled around, I WAS over him.?
But. Of course. September rolled around and he DMed me the name of some account out of the blue, after bo contact whatsoever since March. It was a random recommendation. He was like, "Oh, I think you'll like this account." I checked it out and liked a couple posts, and then replied to him that I thought it was pretty neat and that if he liked poetry (it was a poetry account) he'd like this poet I mentioned as well. He said he wasn't really a poetry person and left it at that. I was so confused.?
Then October. So my friend, C, and I, started our very own poetry account and we followed practically everyone we knew to promote it. That included N. so he commented on one of the poems i wrote, saying it was really really nice, and then messaged me on Facebook with the name of this girl. He said that she was really big on the poetry scene and if I felt inclined to, I could talk to her about slams and events around the city. Then we started messaging, and we messaged for a few days. Then the conversation petered out. Before that, though. I'd said something sarcastic and he didn't understand it. I told him that sarcasm was hard to understand over text anyway. So he told me that I just gave the solution. And J was super confused and asked him what he meant. And thwn he was like ... and I wasn't even kidding I'm killing myself over the misunderstanding, we're not just on a differebt page, we're on a whole different book. It took me a couple days to understand what he meant, and then it hit me. He had tried to ask me out, saying that we should meet up in person. And I'd replied with a 'Sorry?' And it was too late to do anything about it.?
Anyway. Then in late November one of my friends and I were walking around in the neighbourhood and I saw hik but I pretended not to see because I wasn't sure what to say (we hadn't talked since we last messaged). He walked past us thrice but I didn't say a word. He texted me again that night, saying 'Was that you I saw at ---- today?' And I was like SHIT. So I replied with an apology and explained that I felt really awkward and had no idea that it actually mattered to him. And then i said something funny, which distracted him, and we atarted talking and it was really nice because we started talking about really deep things. And he told me that I was a brilliant person, that he would always be my friend. That was so weird, because I wouldn't have called him my friend anyway because we barely talked in person. Then the next morning I logged onto Facebook and he nessaged me first thing, like 'You're up early' and we started talking again. I thought that this was FINALLY going somewhere. Except when it didn't and we stopped talking much after that. We messaged only sporadically. Vacations were on, so we didn't see each other in school. Then school did start and we passed each other a couple times in the hallway but again ignored each other. I was waiting for him and maybe he was waitibg for me. Then in December, we had this community service cleanup drive we were doing, and he was also a part of it. We didn't talk at the drive, but I caught him staring at me a couple of times.?
Then Christmas break came and rememeber my friend S? Well, she had a huge crush on N's best friend, this guy called A. So I tried really hard to set S and A up. More like, S, C and I literally had a group dedicated just to set them up. And then S told A about it, and A told N. Then N messages me on Facebook again, asking me why I was so bent on S and A. I told him I couldn't tell him (because the fact that S liked A was a secret, and she'd only ever told C and I). N kept trying to needle it out of me, but I was firm. Then he said that i had issues. I was seriously offended by that, because he didn't even kbow me enough to be commenting on the state of my mental health. And then he went back to normal, changed the subject. I said that this was the most awkward conversation I'd had in a while, and he said that he'd had weirder. I mentioned something about talking to strangers about stars (this conversation I'd once had, how I'd convinced a stranger that he was on a reality show) and N even said that he really liked people who were random like that! I! Don't! Understand! This! Guy!?
And then, surprise surprise, we didn't talk again until Nee Year's, when he sent me a message wishing me a happy new year. I replied with a simple same to you. And then S tells me that A told her that N likes me, and that he wrote a fucking poem to me. And that part is soemhwat true because he had asked me to proofread some of his writing in October, and I'd said yes, and he told me to forget it because he was feeling too lazy to type it out. And S was like, give him a chance, because C was like, no, them dating wouldn't be nice, because C didn't like N. And then again, I'd gone for a walk with a friend of mine, and he passed us with a group of his friends, and I really did not see him until he had walked away. And then he texted me again, like, the same thing he sent me in November. I said that I genuinely hadn't seen him this time. But that was it.?
We have these really huge exams going on right now. Mine start in 3 days. His started last week. I wished him good luck on Facebook and then deactivated my account because I didn't want to waste time on that app, so I don't know if he replied.?
I'm so confused. And by the end of this, I'm so tired. I really like this guy. I don't know why I do. There's no reason in specific. He's not good-looking, pretty normal. We don't even talk much. I have no idea why I like him so much, but it's like I'm obsessed. My good memory has become a curse at this point. Our exams are getting over in May for good, at which point we'll graduate. I hope that something happens by then. That after the exams, he says something, because I'm sure I don't have the guts.?
God. What a mess. And the thing is, the school I'm in, everyone knows everyone. We're a grade of 84 kids. If anything happens, it'll be gossip fodder. And I hate that.?
Ugh. Anyway. If you've read up till here, lol you know one of my biggest secrets. Thanks. I just needed to let this out. And that's it, I guess. Here's hoping no one from school finds this lol