Am I Trying Too Hard (Or Not Enough)?

I'm about to be 20 in a few months and I've never been in a relationship. I've hooked up with guys before, but that's all it was, I've never had a serious commitment. I have a couple friends who found serious boyfriends in high school or in their first year of college, and I'm not trying to compare myself to them, but it frustrates me because I feel like we have similar personalities so I find it confusing how I haven't found anyone yet. I've tried being on Tinder and Bumble and I've met people, but they've been offputting or (as you can probably already guess) just wanted to hookup. I'm not trying to seem desperate and I don't want to settle, but I don't want to end up alone and I wish I knew what I needed to fix to find someone for me. A lot of times I think it's because of my race (I'm black) and the town that I go to college in isn't for me but I don't want to be pessimistic. Is there any advice on what to do?

Yeah, your problem is because whites are racist and do not want to have a relationship with you. Omg bad white boys. Give me a break please


Love is illusive when you search for it as cliche as it sounds. Avoid dating sites and apps if you can help it-except happn this site there are a lot less people looking for hookups. May I ask if you ever considered volunteering to find a boyfriend? I met a boyfriend through volunteering.

I agree with oneandonly4 ! Love, has cliche as it sounds, IS elusive if you are actively searching for it. My advice, don't worry about it. I'm turning 20 in May and I have never been in a relationship, and am still a virgin. Hell, I went on my FIRST date last year. So, to answer your question, yes... Yes, you are trying to hard; and, I mean this in the most supportive way.?If you're trying too hard, people can see it from a mile away. Just like if a guy was trying really hard to impress some girl, wouldn't you be able to tell? The same situation applies here. If you're trying really hard to look for a relationship, guys (and girls) can tell. So, my advice, don't worry so much about not being in a relationship. If you show that you are self-confident and know what you want, you will attract the right kind of guy.

Also, I know it feels hopeless but trust me, you will find someone when the time is right :) All my closest friends are in relationships and it gets lonely, but I've also really learned to appreciate everything that being single has to offer! I can do whatever the hell I want without having to worry about another person. So, just enjoy your single life and sooner than later you'll meet a good guy. Good luck!


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