I masturbate thinking and saying my ex's name not my boyfriend. Is that wrong?

I was with this guy for a few months, we never had sex but he could turn me on and he knew it; we can call him Alex forsake of understanding. I had never been in love until he came along. we've known each other for over two years. We didn't get together until this year. I believe with all my heart that he is my first love. We stopped talking a few months back. I tried to move on because he made it seem so easy. I was talking to this other guy but I didn't pursue it. Now I'm with a new guy and I thought I was really into him. But the thing is he so innocent and its cute sometimes but its annoying; I'm not gonna lie, I'm into some freaky stuff. When I masturbate it's not fun for me if i"m thinking about him, I have to think about Alex. Its gotten to the point where sometimes I'll close my eyes and say his name picturing what he's doing to me and it feels so good. Every time I finish I feel guilty about it. Like somehow that's cheating on my boyfriend. I don't know what to do. I miss him but I can't be with him and I can't leave my boyfriend. Any advice??

1. Yes it is wrong. ?If you have to ask...
2. Freaky stuff sexually, I guess freaky depends on 'to whom'. That will make finding a compatible match tougher. If you are into stuff that harms you or them, that relationship will never be loving regardless.
3. For Alex you seem compatible sexually but not emotionally. ?For the new guy you seem to have firstly moved on too soon, and secondly be compatible emotionally.

my advice is to take time to figure out who you are and what you want whilst single.?


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