Affairs/married men yikes

hi gurls. My ex boyfriend and I have stayed friends for a long time. We dated when I was 17 he was 18. Then... We decided to just stay friends because it just didn't work out. Then a short time in college he said he loved me and wanted to give us another chance. I finally told him yes only to find out it was too late he started dating someone. I was heartbroken. He went on to marry this girl I was invited to the wedding duh I didn't go. I had boyfriends and sexual relationships... But a few years ago we got drunk and we made out and he fingered me while his wife was sleeping in their apartment. We stopped talking until a few months ago... And we hung out. He told me he used to be in love with me and why wouldn't I have sex with him? He started feeling me up but I stopped it. Then he wanted an affair. He wanted me to pay for the room. Even mentioned a cheap motel. He said we should get there at a certain time...he couldn't stay that long not could he pick me up the next day so we had to leave the night before check out. We texted back and forth about us and sex and I was tempted but ultimately tonight I said I can't you're married lets just stay friends. He said stuff like I wanna hold you in my arms all night etc. I was in tears after I ended the idea but also for feeling really cheap. I feel bad for saying no because I feel like I was leading him on... But Like I want a guy who cares about me. He's mad so I blocked him on my phone etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel depressed and used. I also feel upset because part of me thinks he could have cared... :-( I'm gonna miss him I might regret saying no idk. :-(?

Stuff that happened, happened, no point in giving yourself a hard time over it. But the best thing for you is to forget about him, no friendship nothing, stop hanging out with him, drinking with him and so on. He can finger and have sex with his wife. And you can find yourself someone else who likes you who isn't married.

yeah I ended it before it went further I'm upset but it's better in the long run.

 

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