So i met this guy a week ago and we've been talking off and on. Its come to my attention that i've found my self in a sugar daddy situation. I could really use money, Help with Bills, School Etc. so it seems like a good situation. Im just not sure about the other side of it, and putting myself in that situation. We are getting together tonight and having a nice dinner, wanted to see if any ladies have been in a similar situation? Pros and Cons? I'm willing to give it a try, i just dont want money and support to fog my judgement in the situation... Wish me luck tonight. Hoping i can get a few responses b4 hand to help me make a decision on whether to move forward with it or not. I want to give it a try in my head, but i dont know if thats just the relief of finacial stress.
All I can suggest is, listen to you feelings, listen to your gut instinct, listen to your body.
Ask yourself, Would you still have sex with him if he payed you nothing? Just for fun?
Will you be able to at least enjoy it?
Can you do it safely?
And back to, sit quietly and just see what feeling answer comes to you. You often don't have to wait long for the answer to come to you. The answer often comes pretty fast.
There is nothing wrong with dating a guy who happens to have more money than you and is willing to pay for stuff or be generous with you. The problem would be, like del677 said if that is the only reason you're with him. In which case you need to consider whether it's something you think is worth it and you feel ok about it.
I've only dated one guy who might have been somewhat in a "sugar daddy" category but we didn't date that long. He was about 7 years older than me and has a good job but he's not rich. He took me to way nicer dinners than I can normally go to without my parents, and bought me really nice gifts. I eventually broke up moreso over the age difference, actually I didn't even intend to break up but I wouldn't commit the way he wanted me to so he got mad and it led to me breaking up with him. He was a nice guy and I don't feel like he was trying to "buy" me it just wasn't quite the right situation for me at that time.
If you can't decide, you could always try it for a while and see how it goes.
Think about it. ?Someone giving you money (be it in the form of gifts or not) for sexual favours, that is prostitution. ?You can dress it up and roll it in glitter, but you cannot polish it as the saying goes. ?Now maybe you are fine with that, okay. ?But do consider what a real partner will think or what you will think about yourself in a few years time. ?Would you be okay telling a guy you had fallen in love with you used to get paid for sex? ?Makes you sound extremely desperate or like you don't respect yourself. ?
Also orgasms release bonding chemicals in the brain, so you may find one of you becomes more invested in the relationship than the other (this tends to happen more so for women). ?This is why a lot of FWB situations end badly too (amongst other reasons).
I suppose so long as he isn't violent or creepy then this is a good way to be a prostitute, if that is the career you are after (however temporary). ?Remember to use protection for STI's and Do Not get pregnant. ?No way is he going to stick around to help raise the child. ?No contraception is 100% effective so use more than one. ?Only you know how you will feel looking in the mirror when all is said and done.
Yes if you want to draw a line and look at it in black and white, taking money, gifts, travel etc in return for anything sexual could be considered a type of prositution. But I don't think it's really that black and white. For example suppose my boyfriend does something I've been requesting sexually and in return I cook him a meal. That takes time (and a little money) so why is that counted differently than if I do something he's been requesting and in return he takes me out to a fancy dinner, which takes money (and a little time)? I think there's a lot of gray areas and to me, if you're in a relationship, it's not something to really focus on. Unless you are only in the relationship for money, which you will know.
How do "possible future sugar daddies" fit into the equation?? My current boyfriend is a senior in college about to graduate I am a sophomore so from the time we started dating ?until now, we are somewhat equal as far as life stage. But, he's getting job offers for when he graduates and the salary numbers are pretty big in my opinion, a lot more than I would have guessed. We might literally go in a few months from scraping up money for fast food to like, I mean he will have thousands of dollars a month for discretionary spending. Every time it comes up I tell him to save nearly all of it but he keeps talking about getting me stuff or getting us stuff or taking me on trips. And I am not going to lie, I probably won't reject it, I'll be grateful as long as it makes sense but I honestly do want him to save the majority of it.
When we started dating I didn't think about this in any specific way although to be honest, I knew he was smart, and a comp sci senior at a really good school and goal-oriented, and I did like that about him. I wouldn't say it's why I started dating him but I did see it as a positive trait. So what percentage whore am I lol.
I think the big difference is a committed relationship, you can't call gifts from a loved one as payment for any kind of sexual favors.