Sex Life Complications.

So, exactly a week ago today I started dating a guy I'm really into. I'm 22, he's 24. He's much more experienced when it comes to sex than I am. We're extremely comfortable together and he's just as in to me as I am to him. Trouble is, I'm having trouble getting off during sex. And it has absolutely NOTHING to do with him, he turns me on like no other, and no matter how good it feels I can't seem to finish. I don't know if it's because he doesn't know what I like yet, or if it's because of my own insecurites about my body. I just ordered a vibrator today to see if that'll help, but I'm nervous that not even that will help, even though normally I LOVE vibrators. Any advice?

Uh, you've been dating a guy a week and you are already shagging him? :/ That could be your problem. ?No emotional connection. ?Even then enough rubbing of the right parts will have a reaction.

Perhaps his penis is too small, width or girth, or perhaps he isn't doing it right. Maybe you watch too much porn and masturbate too much??

A vibrator will desensitise your clit over time and make it even harder to orgasm through normal means.

Try getting to know the guy before you let him inside you, communicate at least about what you like if it is just a relationship based on physical lust.

Uh, I said we've been together a week... I never said I've only known him for a week. I've known him a lot longer than that. He works with my dad and I go to work with my dad on my days off of work. But thanks for the judgement.

just replying in support of you mkabat2795. no one should judge you. best of luck with your new relationship and hoping you overcome this complication.

Thank you very much. Did not get back on this site to be judged. Only for advice.

you could try a vibrator, but how about masturbating and trying to get yourself to orgasm with just your hands? It does take a lot of patience, yes, but it's the best way you can really learn about your body and what works/what doesn't.

I'm the opposite of a lot of women in that I enjoy penetrative sex and vaginal orgasms come (hah pun) pretty naturally to me, but I have a tougher time getting off to clitoral stimulation (which makes it pretty hard for me to get off on things like jilling and oral, let alone voicing what I like and don't like.) This is because when I first started masturbating (13,) I began with fingering/g-spot stimulation, and I didn't have my first clitoral orgasm using just my hands until a couple months ago, and it took a very long time (I'm 22.) For most girls it's the other way around lol.

But yeah, next masturbation shesh, take some time to explore your body, and don't think about coming, just focus on the sensations and breathing. Using a mirror helps. Also contrary to popular belief (in fact it only really applies if you routinely use vibrators, or you injure yourself) You don't become immune or insensitive to sex by masturbation. In fact if anything, if you don't use it, you lose it. Muscle memory and all that.

This is pretty normal; give it time! Have fun and try not to worry about whether you'll orgasm or not - by worrying about it, you only make it harder.

Take some time to explore and masturbate yourself, and maybe ask him to slow down (and force yourself to slow down too, even if you think you're ready for sex), and take longer making out etc until you can't stand it!

Only because you both mentioned somethin about exploring while masturbating - I already got that done. I've been using my fingers since I was young. I didn't start using vibrators until I was 18, and even after I got my first I didn't always use a vibrator. So I've what I like down, it's just hard to communicate that I guess? I don't know. But I'm planning on next time having us slow down, start myself off and once I'm stimulated enough, let him take over and show him what I like. Thank you for all of the advice guys! It really helps.

 

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