So I recently started college having just come out of a relationship where the guy was a LOT more attached to me than I was to him. He was kind and we really clicked emotionally (we had been friends for 6 years), but I wasn't sexually attracted to him at all. So naturally, it was really easy for me to move on when I came here. I started liking one of my friends, let's call him Andy, but didn't want to pursue anything because a) he had just come out of a relationship and was kind of having a hard time and b) I didn't want to mess up our friendship so early on. But a month or so into school, I saw him hooking up with another girl at a party which was pretty upsetting for me. So, to help myself get over him and "detach" myself from the situation, I decided I needed to hook up with other guys. I wasn't initially intending to, but I lost my virginity to a guy last Saturday, then had a tinder hookup again last night. The thing is, both experiences were mediocre. I wasn't that aroused, and definitely didn't get off. I just hate this feeling of disappointment and feel like there's something wrong with my because I didn't enjoy the experiences. I feel like I'm less sexual than other girls who do these kinds of things and enjoy them--I wish I could stop getting my hopes up. ?My question is: do I keep exploring and having more hookups so I can learn how to enjoy myself, do I chill and just take some time to be completely by myself, or do I actually pursue my friend? I have a feeling he's at least kind of into me too. How do I figure out what the best "strategy" for me is?

continuing to have more hookups sounds like a bad idea for you, especially since, based off what I read, you're not going about it in a very healthy way. Take some time to be yourself is the best thing you can do.

In school we think all questions have correct answers.
Then in the real world we discover many questions have no correct answers.
Fortunately there are no incorrect answers either.
It all depends on what you want.

The pursuit of happiness is a tricky one.
Here is a hint from a Buddhist monk:

True Happiness is inside of you.
You may look
outside of yourself
for many reasons.
It is a fruitless search
in the wrong place.

True happiness finds you
when you become
content with life
quiet and spacious inside
accepting of whatever
comes your way
and lovingly connected
to the whole universe.

True happiness
is the result of wise living.

May you be truly happy!


Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment