First lesbian ( need advice)

Hi everyone this is my first time here and im nervous but here we go. So yesterday me and my friend were doing homework at house and i eneded up staying the night. She asked me to keep her company in the bathroom as she took a shower. First time anyone asked me that. The point as she got undressed and showerd i got really wet i usally never do till girls till yesterday. Idk if she feels the same what should i do?

Well if you get turned on by girls, you are at least bisexual. ?In terms of what you should do, if you decide at some point to be open about this as your sexuality, she may feel you have been taking advantage of her if she only meant it platonically (like a guy pretending to be gay friend just to see women showering, it happens). ?You could just say seeing anyone naked makes you uncomfortable and deal with being called a prude, plenty of people feel that way anyway. ?And whilst you are considering all that, remember that women change their sexuality on average 4 times throughout their life supposedly. ?I wouldn't bother labelling it. ?If you develop a crush on any gender, let that decide your sexuality at that time.

I'd say set the labels aside for a bit, as sexuality is fluid. While taking advantage of a vulnerable moment is something to consider, it's one thing if she had to like, change her shirt in her room and asked if you didn't mind, but she actually invited you into her bathroom, and undressed in front of you, so she wouldn't be alone while taking a shower. That sounds like a pretty big sign to me. If it does happen again and you are unsure, you can ask, in a playful, flirty manner "[friend name] are you coming on to me?" and see how she reacts from there.

Yes I think that's good advice. Ask it kind of joking (but not really) so if she doesn't react how you hope, you can say it was just a joke. The only problem is she might be shy about saying it too!! So she might say no when the answer really might be yes. Trying to think this stuff through makes me realize why we drive guys crazy!! Good luck!!

Thank you everyone for your advice next time she invites me ill bring it up see how she reacts but right now my eyes open to so many girls that i never noticed before so i guess i might explore first my first for all this i just have tk take it easy. But good to know i have other girls here to talk to :)

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no, IAmYourDr, being turned on by girls most certainly does not make you bisexual. Some doctor you are, you give bisexuals a bad name with that crap.?

You are only bisexual if you would do all the things you'd do with a male with a female. I.e date, have a relationship with, love, have sex with or maybe even marry.?

Unfortunately we have another guy pretending to be a girl!!!

I doubt he was ever pretending.

I would say though, I do find his past behavior on this website very unbecoming of a doctor.

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How on earth does what I said give bisexuals a bad name? ?BI- sexual. ?It means in basic definition that you are sexually interested in both sexes. ?I'm not sure why you find that idea so offensive unless you are insecure of your own sexuality. Although it is fair to say that 'bisexual' and other such labels are so nebulous that most have their own personal definition anyway. ?Hence my lengthy post expressing how labels are pointless and she should just do what makes her happy.

I can only assume you were having a bad day and misinterpreted entirely what I said. Did you think I meant she was turned on by all girls? What an odd way to twist that if so. Nobody says 'oh yeah she?is hetero so all guys turn her on', that is just an odd thing to extrapolate from what I said. If you meant something different I am entirely at a loss as to what it could be, as nothing I said was derogatory in the slightest.

As for me 'being a man', you know you don't have much of an argument when you start throwing around baseless insults at anyone with a different opinion to your own.

I wasn't referring to him

how do you know that?

How do I know what?

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because it makes impressionable young girls think they?re automatically bisexual if they have a crush on a girl. I apologize that I came off so rude, I?m just tired of the " I'm bisexual? fad that seems to be going around. It?s like it?s the cool?thing to be and it?s honestly not fair to genuinely bi or lesbian girls.?

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impressionable young girls are already going to think they are bisexual. ?Then next week they won?t be. ?Then the next week after they might be again. ?Because they are impressionable young girls. ?Kinda their thing.

As I?ve said before, studies show women change ?sexuality? back and forth an average of 3 times in life. ?Now obviously that isn?t every woman but it highlights fluidity and I think a lot of bisexual younger girls are the opposite - they are scared to be demonised by having the label as ?alternative sexuality? to hetero. ?It is all just a nonsense anyway, be happy and so long as there is consent/nobody is getting hurt, then just go with it. ?

Not or sure how either way is unfair though. ?

Sexuality is only relevant between the two people who are dating and equality policy.

And also, who are you to say that it's a fad for them? Maybe they just really are bisexual. Do you really know them well enough to know if they are or are not bisexual??

Even if they say they're bisexual now, and turn out not to be, who cares? Let them figure out what they like? You aren't always just born knowing what you're into, you have to experiment. That's why a lot of people don't really figure themselves out until much later in life.

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lol can't figure out who you are even replying to?

Obviously not you?

I think whether there is a stigma to being called bisexual depends a lot on your social group. I have some friends who think saying you are gay or bisexual is cool and some who think it's gross. Personally I don't care, it's hard enough to be happy, there is no reason to pretend you are something you are not. Either way, I think sometimes if people feel like they have to pick a label before they are ready, they are then in a mode of either defending the label, or rebelling against it when it's probably better not to pick a label until you actually know. And my definition of the words is similar to Sammy's. I have crushes on girls frequently and, for example I would rather see naked women on a TV show than see naked men, but have no interest in a relationship with a girl and I have tons of interest in relationship with guys. So I consider myself straight although I can get turned on by girls at some level, so, somebody else might give me a different label I suppose.

Ella, that's exactly my point, most people don't figure out what they are until later on. I'm a lesbian, but I didn't just wake up one day and decide I was a lesbian after kissing a girl. You're right, I do not know them so they very well could turn out to be bisexual, but all I know is that bisexuality has become a fad now. So much so that any teenager who kisses a girl at a party says I must be bi or a lesbian. Who cares? Idk, id just hate hate for someone to be chastised or worse because of their sexuality when they weren't even really sure about it.?

Exactly, Shelly. Thank you!

I agree with Sammy and Shelly. You both nailed it 100% and saved me a lot of typing.

 

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