so confused

I met this guy in January of this year. We were texting for a few weeks before we met because we met on Tinder. Whenever I met him, or whenever I meet new guys, I didn't feel anything for him nor was I trying to. Yes, I was attracted to him and I could tell he was attracted to me. But it takes more for me to like you than physical attraction. The more we starting hanging out the more I started to like him and the more he started to like me.
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We saw each other at least once a week or twice a week. When we spent time together, it was great. We had awesome conversations, great sex and we just went together so well I thought. We couldn't see each other as often as we liked because he lived an hour away but we texted every day. We didn't go a day or two without talking to each other and soon after that, we started the "talking" phase.
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It was all moving really fast and I know relationships take time to build. So I had doubts about how it going to be but I had feelings for him now so I pushed the doubts away. It was kinda like as soon as we met, we started "talking" and he was the one who wanted to start it! I was scared to because when I get feelings for a person, I give all my love and I get easily hurt. I explained all of this to him but he kept telling me not to feel dumb and that he'd always be there for me.?

We broke up a little over a month ago. When we broke up, he didn't talk to me for a week. Then when he finally talked to me, he told me that he wanted to be with me pretty bad and really liked me but couldn't feel it and that I could find someone closer to me and better suit. I asked him to be friends when he told me that because I just wanted to keep him in my life even though it would hurt. He never replied to any of my messages. He just left so I left it at that. We haven't talked since then until now.

He messaged me yesterday hoping I was doing well. He asked if I had my inner thoughts I had wrote for him and his hoodie. I told him I threw it all away cause it hurt to have that around me. He got mad that I threw it away because "it held sentimental value to him" but I told him that I was hurting and having his hoodie around me made me hurt more so I had to throw it away cause he wasn't coming anytime soon to get it. He understood that and said it was all good and that he was sorry for just leaving. He says he wants me to be a little it happy when I think of us. But I only get sad. He wants to be friends now but I'm not sure I can be around him and not be able to kiss him. I'm just not there yet and I told him. He says he's here and all we have his time. He even said he loves me because he sees the genuine human being inside of me and people like me are hard to come by. I'm so confused and don't know how to feel. ?

Breaking up always sucks no matter how it ends. I have tried to be friends with my exes and it doesn't work for me at all. Even when I've been over a guy I still can't do the friends thing. Its always been awkward for me and it felt weird trying to be friends after a relationship. Some people can be friends after and do okay with it but I definitely can't, I've tried. I even had an ex that was a friend For a while before we dated and after we broke it off I couldn't be friends with him and we didn't have a nasty break up at all it just wasn't going to work out. If you can't be friends it's just the way it is and I wouldn't try to. Especially if you still have feelings for him it would probably be best to make a clean break. I've been dumped and still had feelings for them and I couldn't handle talking to them or even seeing or hearing about them. Its always brought it all back to me, the good and bad memories and it was too hard for me. I hope you do what's right for you and what you feel is the best choice for yourself. I have a heart that is easily broken and walking away and not turning back has been the easier way to get over it and to get back to my normal self. It takes time and doing what's best for you is the only thing you can do.

 

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