When he doesn't say "I love you" back

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months and I recently told him I love him. He said he really likes me but he can't say it back until he's certain about his feelings because it's such a strong word. I completely get where he is coming from, and I'm glad he didn't say it if he doesn't really mean it, but it also feels weird now, almost like I'm way more into the relationship than he is. Any other guy I've dated has said it to me earlier than this and I'm worried at some point it's going to be too hard to continue to date someone that I know I love but who isn't sure he loves me. Has this ever happened to any other girls/how long would you wait before you decide the relationship is doomed?

Can you read his emotions? He may actually love you, whereas all the other boys just say the phrase because they know thats what we want to hear.

I figure a lot of guys are saying "I love you" because they want to get into our pants and they figure saying that phrase and making it sound convincing is part of the game.

Your boyfriend on the other hand, isn't playing the game. You've got someone who can not tell a lie!?

I'm guessing you hit the jackpot!

I'm guessing he isn't gay, because he says he really likes you, and I assume if you've been dating then you've been doing dating things, so I'm assuming he's a normal heterosexual man with normal heterosexual desires, which means deep inside he has a deep desire for you, he really wants you, because that's just the way all men are.

But you, lucky you, got someone who has that deep repressed burning desire, and yet isn't willing to play the game and say words he isn't sure of - even though the feelings are actually there deep within him!

Is this guy an intellectual? Is he like good at math? Or computers? Or science?

Because those are the ones who tend to be the ones who have deep feelings but aren't really in touch with them, they can't really put them into words, they don't really know what love feels like, they have feelings, and they like what they feel, and they may even be somewhat shy, and afraid to admit they have feelings, for fear of scaring away a girl, thinking it's better to be gentlemanly and just be friends, when really deep inside they want to ravish you, but they fear you'd slap them if they touched you, not knowing how much we'd just love to be ravished by them, so despite their being so smart, they can't seem to figure out this simple thing, possibly because it isn't written down in the math book anywhere.

These type of guys are often very bad at reading non-verbal communication. They don't read body language. They're kind of blind to it. (It isn't in their math book.) They do get verbal communication though. So use your words. They prefer direct verbal communication. Since they don't get the non-verbal stuff, you may have to verbally tell them what you want and direct them. ("Kiss me." "Touch me here.") They will happily comply, and you will find a deep love and care and compassion that is not at all superficial, totally unlike what those other guys who play the game and say "I love you" in as real a way as they can fake it to get into your pants.

So that's just my guess, that he does love you back very much, but he's one of those rare individuals who are disconnected from their feelings, they can not put words to their feelings, so they don't really know what they are feeling, and another sign of this is they aren't good at reading non-verbal body language (especially the eyes), so it doesn't occur to them that you want them to say that phrase, and another sign is they cannot tell a lie, it just doesn't occur to them that they could do that, to say want you want to hear so they can get what they want, which any other guy would do.

That's just a guess. He's uncertain about his feelings. He actually has feelings. He just doesn't know how to put them into words. Any other guy would just say the magic phrase and play the game. This guy is real! He doesn't?play games! Lucky you! The only kind of guy I know who doesn't play games is the one I described above. If you like him, if you love him, I suggest go for it! He wants you! The only thing holding him back is fear. Those kind of guys may be inexperienced and have fears, but you can get him over that bump.

 

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