He keeps hurting me but I love him

I started seeing someone about 6 months ago, he's 4 years older than me which doesn't seem like much but he's different to anyone I've been with before. We've been sleeping together and I made it clear from day one I liked him and he said he did me too but after a month or two he began saying he didn't want a relationship as he was moving away to work, he's being saying this for months but still hadn't left. The first time I found out he said it we argued and he said he likes me but doesn't want a relationship, I called things off but ended up going back there, this has been repeating for months now, I've fell in love with him even though I know he doesn't love me, I know he has feelings for me but he's been hurt before and maybe the feelings aren't strong enough to stop his partying lifestyle as he lives with his friends and they are always getting drunk, he's slept with people whilst we've been in arguments but then he comes back telling me he misses me and I fall for it everytime, I got with one of his mates to annoy him and he was so angry and said I'm his and can't ever do it again, when it's just us two he is so loving it's not like we have Sex and that's It, it's different, he even said 'I love you' when we was having Sex the other day, it's so hard because one minute he's saying he likes me and misses me and leads me on but then I won't hear from him for 1-2 weeks, my friends are getting so angry as I keep going back to him but it's like I'm allowing him to hurt me because I love him so much, everyone tells me I deserve better even looks wise but it's not his looks as much it's his personality , my mum hates the sound of him and says she's disappointed that I've allowed someone to use me but she doesn't know I've been back there twice since then, I've never felt like this, I don't want to keep getting hurt but I've tried so hard to let go and I just can't do it?! Please help?

Sweetie, it sounds like the two of you want very different things.? When a guy says that he doesn't want a relationship suprisingly enough it usually means that he doesn't want a relationship, or at the very least he doesn't want one with you.? It sounds like he is stringing you along because he sees you as his fallback girl for when he has no other prospects.?

I know you say that you can't bring yourself to letting this guy go and my guess is that it feels like he is filling some part of your life that feels empty.? I know how that feels but I can also tell you that you will never be happy in a relationship if you can't first be happy alone.? You should cut this guy loose before you get too far down the rabbit hole with him.? The longer you let this go on the harder it will be to get out of, and don't let him talk you into changing your mind.? At the very least this guy isn't ready for an adult relationship and more time you waste on him the more likely you are to miss out on someone who will treat you right.

But if I'm just a fallback girl why does he say all these things to me?? It's not like he says it to get me in to bed because it's once we are already in bed together?

If your tolerance of his crap is from unresolved abuse in your past, you'll continue to be vulnerable to guys UNLESS you? seek counselling as a mean to cope which would make you stronger and less likely to be in said situation again.

I'm sorry but you need to rid yourself from this ABUSIVE prick.

UNLESS you've actually broken up during these arguments he didn't cheat on you.? That being said, I'd be very shocked if he hasn't been with other females you don't know about.?

Oh and let's say you end up getting pregnant, he wouldn't be a guy worth your time since he'd likely get more emotionally abusive.

Oh and if by chance he's actually physically hurt you, you really need to run and get domestic violence help.

 

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