not ready and doubting

so i have been with this guy on and off for a while now and he is a little bit older than me. with me being younger i feel like i dont have as much control as he does. for example, if we get in a fight and then he forgives me i will forget anything and just went back to how everything was even tho i might still be mad at him. i just feel like i cant leave him because i like him so much. but the thing is, i have been told that one night he was sending pics to another girl who goes to my school. i straight up asked him about it on text and he came back and said "if you dont trust me then make your decision... you should only trust things from my sister and bestfriend..." but the person that told me this is really close to me and i feel like she wouldnt lie to me. i later said "im sorry for doubting you" because i didnt want to leave him so i just forgot about it. i guess in conclusion, im just wondering if anyone has any advice for me about dating an older guy or cautions of fooling around with an older guy...?? this probably sounds stupid sorryyy

In a relationship, you should never feel like you have less control than the other partner. If you're doubting this, then you should have a serious conversation with him and really think about the best option. Depending on how old he is and how old you are, you could both be in very different stages of what a relationship "should" be like to you, so that is also something big to consider. Good luck!

I think there are different possible meanings when you say "less control" but I don't think you should be in a relationship where you feel like you need to always give and never take. Or for that matter the opposite where you always take and never give. I have actually been in both types and they both sucked for different reasons.

I do not think a relationship needs to be equal in every way, for example I think differences in age, money, who picks where you eat or generally who is "in charge" are OK (personally I like the guy to be in charge most of the time) but I think it needs to be equal in the sense that you want to be with him and he wants to be with you. And you're both willing to do things that maybe you wouldn't prefer because it's more important to the other person, in fact, you are both happy to do things you might not prefer because knowing it'll make the other person happy is exciting for you.

I don't care if you are an unpopular sophomore and he's a senior captain of the football team or, in adult terms if you're 18 and broke and he is a 50 year old billionaire, if you are dating, you're equal in the sense that you've picked one person (him) and he's picked one person (you). So you both need to value each other and try to make the other person happy, if you can't both do that, it isn't going to be a healthy relationship. JMO!! Good luck!!


Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment