Hey guys. About 3 years ago my Fiancee was asleep on the couch with my laptop on his chest. I picked my laptop up to use it to only find emails from craigslist. The casual dates on craigslist. After I caught him doing it. I asked him if he was gay. And he told me he wasnt. Said he only did the craigslist ads for something funny to do while drinking.. It was something to laugh about when drunk. I believed him.
3 years later.
Last month I got onto my Fiancees email account so I could get a bill number so I could call and get something fixed. I go through his emails and there again are emails from men. But they were more graphic. He told them the street we lived on. That we lived in a apartment complex and what color of car we drove. I was horrified. I went into my room and packed ll my clothes. Went to my Sons room and packed all his. I was getting ready to walk out the door with our Son when he stopped me and told me to stop. I told him what I saw and he begged me to stay and held me while I cried.?
He says hes not gay and that he doesnt understand why he did it. He says hes not attracted to men. Hes never had sex with a man. He just did it. He didnt think it would cause this much pain but it did. The following day he should be my wedding band and said hes had it for a long time and he never strayed from loving me. We've been engaged going for 3 years. Im so confused.
Right now im keeping very close watch on his social media, email accounts and checking the history on my computer and his phone. I dont trust him at all. Our trust is a 0%. Im just so confused and I dont understand why he would do this. He says when I bring it up it makes him sick to his stomach.?
Im so confused and idk what to do? Can he really be gay tho? Idk. HELP
Our 10 year anniversary is next month on the 13th and we have a almost 4 year old Son.?
Wow, I hope someone with more knowledge than me can help you this sounds awful. I don't think I can say what is going on, only that something is going on and it's not good. Taking what he said at face value makes no sense. He's not gay he just likes to what, flirt online with gay men ... for what purpose? From a relationship standpoint the best idea I can think of is that he's being a jerk to random gay people for no good reason. And I doubt that!
The part about saying exactly where you live exactly what car you drive etc to strangers, I hate to say it but I wouldn't feel safe there, I would go somewhere else for a while if possible. However I am 19 years old so, what do I know!! Good luck!! :/
I have something similar going on..
I have a boyfriend and we have been together a little while..
I have always had this intuitive side to me that can just sense things and felt this weird feeling for a while about him.??So my boyfriend had ?things happen to him when he was younger (molest/rape) which i knew since the beginning of our relationship but what i didn't know is ?in reaspons to that he goes on casual encounters and talks to men..
I did not know this until about a month or two ago when he was inside the house and i went onto his tablet and found emails and texting accounts with these men talking to him sending him naked pictures and he sent them naked pictures and they talked dirty and planned to meet up and i just freaked the fuck out.. i exploded and he locked himself in the house and wouldn't talk to me.. he wouldn't tell me anything so i went to my parents house and stayed with them that night.. went back to the house the next day to get my things and he wanted me to stay i asked him what in the fuck was
Lgoing on. I thought maybe he was using me and making me take care of him while he does this shit.. so he tells me he messes with them and says he is going to meet them but he does it just to fuck with their heads..?
So within this past month he has been up North helping his grandmother because she is sick and i started to loose grip of him and i no longer trusted him i started talking to guys and hanging out with them while he was up there and one guy fingered me while me and my boyfriend were on a break.. im just so lost in what to do i feel terrible.. i dont know if he met up with tjese men i just don't know..
I myself was molested and raped when i was a little girl and i would never do something like this while in a relationship..
Maybe he's just bi. Maybe he is exploring. Maybe he is even straight but has a kinky to talk to othet men?
He might have thoughts or feelings for other guys (gay/bi/curious?) and he is more than likely ashamed of them and quilty for being with you either way he is in a commited closed relationship and shouldn't be doing these things and lying about it etc.
It is hard for me to tell you what to do as I have never been in a relationship for so long and I don't have and children. I dated my ex boyfriend for over 3 and a half years before he broke up with me and then we were FWB for 10 months afterwards till I met my current boyfriend. While I was dating my ex he got his dick sucked by some girl at a party who was sucking all the dudes dicks out in the open. He lied to me about it at first said he went to a crazy house party and a girl was sucking dudes dicks and she reached for his OTP but he denied her. Later on when we were hanging out with his guy friends the truth came out and I called him out on it. I was more pissed about the fact that he lied to me but nothing really came of it and it is the only sexual thing I know occured when we were dating. I've always been a very openly sexual person and could be in a open relationship if I met the right person. Though it is the guys that I am with who have a problem with that idea so I also can happily oblige to having a commited closed relationship.?