Am I leading him on?

I have a question that's been bugging me for some time now. There's this boy I went to school with who has, in the past year, developed a huge crush on me. It's kind of cute I guess, but he follows me around all the time. My friends have questioned him, and he shyly admitted to the crush. This would be all fine and dandy, but I just don't like him back!

This summer, he's texted me a ton. He keeps asking me to hang out. I really do like talking to him, so I've agreed. But now, looking back, have I been leading him on? Were those dates?? We never do anything that romantic (some tennis matches, going to laser tag with a group of friends, etc), so I've been pretending we're just friends hanging out before we head off to college.

I know it's a bit late now, but for future reference, what constitutes leading someone on? I don't want to be like that, but I have a really hard time saying no, especially if the guy isn't repulsive.

Have you SAID that you see him only as a friend? Unless you have, he could believe that he has a chance.

You know he's interested and you havent told him that you don't return those feelings, that's leading him on. Even if you aren't going on "dates" you know how he feels and spending time with him even if it's just in a friendly way isn't letting him know that you don't feel the same way.

Alright, thanks for the advice! Yeah, I've been too shy to confront him about it, but you're right, it's probably better to be honest than unintentionally hurt his feelings. Thank you again for replying!

The best thing to do is to tell him as soon as possible that you are not interested in anything other than friendship. I have has a lot of guy friends have crushes on me and I saw them nothing ore than a friend. I completely avoided the awkward conversation altogether for too long and ruined the friendships. It's just best to be upfront and honest. 

 

The thing that you need to make sure of the most is that you tell him that you only want to be friends and explain why. No use in leaving him heartbroken.

So a guy told me that his friend wants me...do you think hes telling me the truth or  should I just forget about it?

Aleah.15:So a guy told me that his friend wants me...do you think hes telling me the truth or should I just forget about it? Sometimes guys say shit like that to lead a girl on, to embarrass her or publicly humiliate her. The best way to find out is to go up and ask him straightfoward if he's telling the truth or not. && sometimes, when a guy says its his ''friend'', its actually him. But if you really want him to tell you who it is (it being him or if it isnt) just completely ignore him. Eventually, seeing that you really dont care about the situation, he'll get the balls to tell you how he really feels, or who it is that likes you. Otherwise, relax...let nature bring you guys together.

Hope it helped! Goodluck  xoxo- Kennedi
 

Aleah.15:So a guy told me that his friend wants me...do you think hes telling me the truth or  should I just forget about it? 

I still have feeling for my EX-Boyfriend but i hate that he broke my heart and i mis him he moved on i have'nt he has a girlfriend now and the been dating for 8 months and i hate that I see him with another girl I think to my self that what if we were still together right now. what should I do to forget my EX-Boyfriend?

I know this is an old thread and this is no longer relevant to this specific girl's problem but I have to speak my mind. Sorry, but I disagree with the responses she got.?

No, she wasn't leading him on. If he's interested in purusing a romantic relationship he needs to be clear that that's what he's doing and ask her out. It's called communication. If you're okay with him following you around all the time and texting you all summer that's fine, but that's also something that can be very unwanted. I went through a similar situation a few years ago and I did not want teh constant texts and did not enjoy being followed around at school. You're not obligated to like a boy back and he doesn't get to assume that he "has a chance." When guys who are jerks do this it's easy to blow them off, it's a lot harder when the guy is genuinely a nice person. You don't want to be mean! You don't want to break his heart! But the thing is, there are a lot of guys (I'm not saying he's one) that no matter how nicely you say you're not interested they're going to be upset and say you were mean. Society teaches girls to prioritize boys' feelings. The way you feel (or don't feel) about him is every bit as important as the way he feels about you. Just being nice and friendly is not leading him on. Girls and women are routinely punished by society for rejecting romantic advances from boys and men. We're constantly told "just give him a chance! He's a nice person!" But you don't owe him anything.?

I do agree that it's best to be upfront about not liking him back, but that can be really hard because the resulting conversations tend to be awkward and because you don't want to hurt him, and you shouldn't blame yourself for not being clear enough. If you never said you were interested he had no right to assume that you were.?

^ Communication works both ways, though. From what I gather, she knew he liked him romantically, but it was never made clear to him how she felt, so he was kinda left hanging. I completely agree that it would have been in his best interests to ask her out straight up, but sometimes that can be really hard too, because those conversations also tend to be awkward and because he's afraid of being hurt, so you shouldn't blame him either.

I also completely agree with you that it's a problem that society teaches women to prioritize men's feelings, and that the way she feels about him is every bit as important as the way he feels about her.?The point of communication, though, is getting everyone on the same page. She knew they weren't on the same page, but it seems he did not.?It's not the the worst thing in the world that she did, or anything like that. But enjoying his company while he thought he may have a chance to pursue her romantically is definitely leading him on, which is what she did.

HELLO GUYS!!!
So I found a guy on a social media called instagram........He is actually from my school but we never talked,indirectly via instagram we started chatting and now we are like best friends forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there is nothing hidden from us both.........we know each other since 2 months really well.....Now one questions is bothering me since 2 weeks really badly!!!!! Is my love towards him only like friends or i have feelings for him which is something more.........I would have confessed it already but he already has a girlfriend and seems really happy with her........though i dont like his girlfriend{ not because he is in a relationship with her but because she is a really bitchy personality}.............anyways i dont want to ruin his happy life but my inner soul is killing me to confess it though i dont have that much guts...........I AM REALLY STILL CONFUSED IF I LOVE HIM OR WE ARE JUST CLOSE FRIENDS,,,,,,,Moreover I fear if i proposed i have chances to loose my friendship which i really want to cling on to for a lifetime.....he is really a good guy and an amazing bestie and i dont want his love life to be ruined because of me...........I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM HAPPY THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE!!!!!................................But this question is just KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!

GUYS PLS REPLY ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE TIME IS RUNNING OUT AND I ONLY HAVE 2 MORE WEEKS TO SPEND MY FUN TIME
?

hi im 13 years old. i havent properly gone out with anyone before. i really like this guy and im pretty sure he likes me back. but theres a problem. im friends with a lot of the cool girls and also the cool boys. these cool boys all used to be friends with my crush but now they all hate him. hes not that well respected socially i guess. boys take the mic out of me sometimes and im really scared that if we go out people will take the piss and not like me. also, im really scared he's going to ask me out too early. we dont talk enough and arent close enough yet to go out.?
am i bad for being scared of people thinking im weird for going out with him?
how do i make sure he doesnt ask me out yet??
thank you xx

x

Hey!! No you're not weird, that normal. You said you "really like this guy," if that's true then here is my advice, praise him a little to your group. Just like you don't want them to stop liking you, they don't want you to stop liking them popularity is a two way street. Don't go overboard just say something nice about him a couple times in small groups where it doesn't seem like a big deal. That will probably cause them to back off bashing him somewhat and you can see how things stand then.

I indirectly have experience with this, my brother became unpopular because of a psycho girl lying about him and then he reacted poorly. I am not in his school now (I am older) but I asked a popular girl in his class to help him, she is occasionally complimenting him to her friend and inviting him to stuff, it's helped a lot, he's gone from "unpopular" to "okay" as far as how the popular kids see him.

Im in a lot of trouble. I recently switched back to my old school and im really happy about that but i already have guy trouble. My friend charles came up to me and hugged me and asked me to be his girlfriend right off the bat. I THOUGHT HE WAS KIDDING! My mom made me leave before because i fell in love with my ex-boyfriend. He was 18 and I was 15. And im not allowed to date. But he kissed me and i got confused. I tried to fix it, but now were friends with benefits. I asked Garett for advice but he told me i have to fix it myself. Then he kissed me and left! I have no idea about what i should do PLEASE HELP! I want to be with Garett but im not sure he likes me for real.

 

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