i'm not attracted to my boyfriend..

my boyfriend and me were friends before we started dating. i love spending time with him. he's funny and we never run out of things to talk about. i like being around him and he makes me feel so sexy. i do think he's cute, he's just not my type. i don't feel a desire to have sex with him. i've had sex with him before and it was pretty good, but the attraction just isn't really there. it sounds so shallow and i hate myself for it because he's such a good guy. i don't know where to go from here. can you be with someone long term and not be sexually attracted to them? i'm lost.

You're clearly better off as just friends rather than in a committed relationship. Break up with him and find someone you DO want to have sex with him. Feel bad for him if you keep staying with him because you're keeping him from finding someone who DOES want to have sex with him, don't feel bad for him if you break up with him because he'll move on. Sh!t happens -- you learn what is your type and what isn't so you won't choose to be with someone who you're not attracted to in the future.

I think its really important for attraction to be there otherwise in the long term things just wont work and you could endup feeling traped with this guy you dont feel attracted to so my advice would be to just find someone who makes you feel good and that you are attracted to. 

stayclassy:You're clearly better off as just friends rather than in a committed relationship. Break up with him and find someone you DO want to have sex with him. Feel bad for him if you keep staying with him because you're keeping him from finding someone who DOES want to have sex with him, don't feel bad for him if you break up with him because he'll move on. Sh!t happens -- you learn what is your type and what isn't so you won't choose to be with someone who you're not attracted to in the future. 

i really hate that this will make me lose him as a friend. and possibly even more friends would be lost over him, because we're in the same "friend group." my best friend is married to his best friend, actually. and i do think he's cute. i just dont have the drive to have sex with him. but i've never felt that "drive" with a boyfriend. :/

I had that same problem , but I just told him how I felt , and he was okay with that , and kind of sad , but we still talk like we're bestfriends . 

lovelife1014:

stayclassy:You're clearly better off as just friends rather than in a committed relationship. Break up with him and find someone you DO want to have sex with him. Feel bad for him if you keep staying with him because you're keeping him from finding someone who DOES want to have sex with him, don't feel bad for him if you break up with him because he'll move on. Sh!t happens -- you learn what is your type and what isn't so you won't choose to be with someone who you're not attracted to in the future. 

i really hate that this will make me lose him as a friend. and possibly even more friends would be lost over him, because we're in the same "friend group." my best friend is married to his best friend, actually. and i do think he's cute. i just dont have the drive to have sex with him. but i've never felt that "drive" with a boyfriend. :/ 

That's a risk you take when dating friends. Try to find the best way to let him down and to explain things to him and maybe he won't be as upset as you may think. Although the group of friends still may not be the same though. I'm sure he'd have trouble being around you after breaking up. You can't stay with him just because you have common friends...

In my opinon if you're not sexually attracted to your guy then you stand a chance to cheat. I can be totally wrong on though.

jnutty29:In my opinon if you're not sexually attracted to your guy then you stand a chance to cheat. I can be totally wrong on though. 

My real, number one thing that has sparked this is that I can't stop thinking about this other guy. He's my best friends boyfriends best friend. He is unbelievably sexy. The second I met him I thought he was gorgeous. We don't really get along too well, but he's admitted that he's extremely sexually attracted to me. And I am unbelievably attracted to him. He's really a typical guy in every way, and I mess with him about it. They all joke about the fact that we can't get along because we're too much alike and there's too much sexual tension lol. I wish I was this attracted to my boyfriend. But I just can't be. This guy is gorgeous. But I don't think I'd ever date him. Uggg.

My first bf was a friend first. I was never really attracted to him, knew him since we were 10. I fell in love with him and the physical attraction grew over time. But like someone else said u may be more likely to cheat, especially if its not full blown love yet

asw53:My first bf was a friend first. I was never really attracted to him, knew him since we were 10. I fell in love with him and the physical attraction grew over time. But like someone else said u may be more likely to cheat, especially if its not full blown love yet 

I'm just afraid it never will. I want passion and I'm terrified I'll never have it. I've never had passionate sex. 
I also have a big crush on another guy and find him so physically attractive. He's gorgeous :/

Hey girlie!

It happens to me with an ex, and things like these does not work, you can't love over time to see if this gonna work, either you love that person or not. If you not love him or feel attracted to him I will recommend to stop this and talk to him, if he decides to be friends cool, if not cool too, remember you need to think about yourself and your fulfillment as a women and what do you expect in the future with a relationship, feeling not attractive to the other person is the worse thing you can do if you are in a relationship with that person. Think about it, I know you will find someone that makes u feel awesome and attracted to him and u wanna have sex with him. Also don't think everything needs to be pshycal just because he is gorgeus he is your perfect match, you need to have the love and feeling of being attarctive to him to make it work in a relationship.

XOXO girls!!! :)

this has happened to me before.... i was dating a guy for not even a week and my peers kept telling me to kiss him... but i never actually had the urge to do so..... This made me sad because i was holding him on by a loose thread.... we never really had any connection when we were together.... him and my best friend had more in common than me and him. I was just never attrated to him i guess...So i told him it was better off for us to be friends.. I didn't want to do that bf and gf stuff with him. And i knew i had to end it soon or our relationship would be built out of lies. After we broke up we still keep in contact and i found that we have a better connection as friends. Being in a relationship with him just seemed awkward so he understood and said he felt the same way. I was lucky that he was an understanding guy..otherwise that would have gone a whole other way :)

 

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