have had a lot of ups and downs with a guy since I moved to a new college. he is my neighbor, i am 21 and he is 24.
we are on winter break, he is at his parents' house about 1.5 hrs away from where I live.
he wanted to drive here to see me yesterday. I was invited to a party he couldn't go to - so I told him sorry, I'm busy, let's see each other in a few days.
I went, with my two best friends. had a good time. accidentally found some free shrooms - ate some for the first time and had a mild trip. nothing ridiculous. completely controlled situation. I am pretty experienced with more intense substances as is my boyfriend.
during my trip I called him because hey, I missed him. granted, the first thing out of my mouth was probably 'omg guess what I am on shrooms'. not the best idea, but hey, I was messed up. he started in yelling at me and freaking out immediately. How could I go to a party and do shrooms without my boyfriend? etcetera...
my friends and I have been talking about doing shrooms together for a long time...and my boyfriend was out drunk with his friends at the very moment he was criticizing me for doing the same thing. we ended up a huge argument on the phone (he was drunk and I was tripping..) and we broke up, I guess (it's hazy). he proceeded to message my best friend as well as my ex saying that he was "worried" because I was on shrooms. made it really awkward for all of us here.
Don't I have the right to go to things without him? He has always seemed controlling, wanted to visit me because he was bored (said that...). Drunk calls me in the middle of the night, goes out to bars without me, pries into my life and contacts people I know without my knowledge or permission. I am always justifying my behavior. He drunk called me the night before. I don't think he was actually "worried" about me. He has said he doesn't trust me and I think he was just upset cuz he wasn't there to watch me / control the situation. Pretty **bleep**ty.
Am I wrong?
You chose to go to a party instead of be with your boyfriend. It seems like it's a long distance and if I were you, I'd be happy if he came to visit and wouldn't tell him not to come because I must get drunk at a party. Besides, when you're in college, parties happen every weekend.
Second, never ever call or text ANYONE when you're drunk or on anything.
Third, if he is so controlling, break things off with him then. Even if he's not controlling, you seem like you're not into this relationship anymore.
That sounds absolutely ridiculous to me. Controlling = very bad. Your boyfriend sounds fairly controlling.
I think that's absurd he won't let you go to a party without him - you should be able to make those decisions by yourself and he should absolutely trust you until he has no reason to (which it really doesnt sound like). He sounds hypocritical, controlling, and I think you should end it!