I want to bring her here but not her son.

My girlfriend and I are planning our future together already. I'll be applying for a visa so I could bring her here and we can marry each other. It's a pretty straightforward plan for the both of us because that's how we deal with things all the time. There's one a minor problem with this said scheme, though. She wants to bring her son from an ex-lover with her and I don't want that.?

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like the kid. I just don't want to have any delays with the processing of her papers. I know she loves her son a lot, but I also know that bringing her son here would slow down the whole immigration procedure. Maybe one day she can bring him here, but not now.

I was also thinking that if she goes here alone, we can start our own future with just as two. We can send her child money for his needs. I have the money to support his monthly financial needs so she has nothing to worry about. Though, i need to know if my view of things is acceptable. Is it okay to keep her son in her country? Is it more practical to send monthly support??

My brother was in this situation too. He met the girl during a romance tour and he flew her in about half a year later. Up till today, his step son is still not here in the states. Should I just follow his footsteps? I need to know what's the right thing to do in this situation.

Hi!
It sounds to me like you're saying her son would be a burden on the plans you have with her. One thing you have to understand is that when a woman gives birth to a child, that child is a part of her. If you are interested in having a future with her, you must very well be interested in her child as well. If you marry her, you all will be one big family. How would you feel if she said she would marry you but do not want your child (If you had any) physically in the picture? Personally, I don't believe it is acceptable for you to not want her son to come with her. Sending her child money is nothing compared to developing a bond and a healthy relationship with him. Also, that leaves so much space and opportunity for her son to resent her when she gets older. He is not going to respect the fact that she left him to go run off with another man. If you want to marry her, you need to be willing to accept everything that comes with her. If there are delays, so what? As long as it gets done. There is no need to rush something that WILL eventually happen. Her son deserves more than to be left behind for another man.

 

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