Should I tell him how I feel?

I have caught feelings for a guy I told myself I wouldn?t. Not because they?re is anything bad about him, he?s great, but because he lives so far away and having feels for someone scares me because it leaves me feeling vulnerable and I never want to get hurt again!
Anyway, he spent a week with me and it was great. But it confirmed my feelings, now I?m going nuts when he doesn?t reply or sees my snap chats and ignores them. In the past this didn?t bother me but now I?m noticing.
My question is, should I tell him I have feelings for him or should I ignore them? I thought he liked me but since he has gone home our conversations have been so brief, the contents are the same but it?s just not as often. I?m scared to put my feelings on the line and be rejected. I don?t want him out of my life but if I tell him things might change?
and I don't know how to tell if he likes me?

So, there's one of two things you could do.?

You could admit to having feelings for him. There's the risk of rejection and things getting awkward, but you won't now until one of you makes a move, really. I typically find admitting my feelings to be a HUGE weight off my shoulders once I finally do it, but you might be different in that respect.

Another thing you could do is to try not to be so emotionally available to him. If you were the last to contact him, then don't text or snap him until he responds. I understand it being super tough to do that, but you can keep yourself preoccupied with things you like to do in the meantime.??He may be used to you initiating conversation but if he's really interested in you, he'll make time out of his busy schedule to drop a line. If it's been three days (or a whole week if you're nice) and he still hasn't contacted you, then I'm sorry to say but, he's probably not that into you. Even if something comes up (like say a project at work or his internet is down, or he's visiting family/friends, etc.) he should at least have the decency to give you a heads up or send you a message as soon as he is able to.

He has been messaging me when he can and the conversations have basically been normal. I'll give it a week to re-evaluate?things and decide what I want to do.?

Try to see if it is not always you who is starting the conversations. If it is, then you should start toning it down so he starts to realize that he has to put in effort. Is he ever flirty? Do you ever see signs that he likes you? What do people around you think?

I did that yesterday, and he ended up messaging me some videos this morning and tagging me in some things on Facebook. I do see signs sometimes but now that things progressed when we met its like we have both taken a step back. Perhaps we don't really know how each other feels, I don't know.
people think I should tell him or leave it for another week and see what happens?

When you said he spent a week with you what did you mean by that? A week holding hands and snuggling or a week in the same town occasionally talking about movies and music??

There is one method that would prompt him to say if he likes you but it's a little manipulative. Which is, either you show interest in another guy or have another guy show interest in you in a way he can see or that gets back to him. Like if you're in a flirty pic with another guy on Facebook, if he likes you, he will probably ask about it. But sometimes that can feel unfair so idk if I'm recommending that exactly.

Overall I'll be honest, I am kind of feeling like you might be more into him than he is into you. But, that could also just be that you make it too easy for him and he takes you for granted, so, I also agree with the advice to stop sending messages wait for him to send messages first. Good luck!!

I've experienced this kind of thing before, where both members are unsure about how the other one feels so they do not do anything. If you are wanting to see how he feels a bit more, you could start flirting and see how he responds!

We spent a week.adventuring and snuggling at night (and other things), it felt pretty genuine to me.

i have definitely stopped messaging as much and he has started to message me. Not a whole lot because he's still doing night shift/sleeping a lot.

i'm not very good at flirting... I added an 'x' to the end of my message because he occasionally did that in refurn but I got nothing

sounds like the both of you are walking on eggshells, worried about making the wrong move. He seems like he still wants to maintain contact with you, and he might have the same concerns you do. It's all just a matter of who makes the first move

That's exactly my thoughts. Then I overthink it and get scared that I'm taking it all the wrong way. I'm just petrified of opening up and to lose a great friendship that I value. It's like I'm just waiting for that sure 'sign'.

How do you tell someone you like them over message? I have no idea what to even say!

idk, I wish someone knew! lol. I suppose just go for it

I'm too scared! But even if he doesn't like me back, at least I faced a fear right? It'll take time but I'll get over it.

yeah, exactly!

Well the easy thing (what you see all the time in these situations) is "just go for it." But there is a reason people don't always just go for it and the reason is obvious, you already know it, everybody knows it but sometimes you decide it's worth the risk. When giving advice, there's no risk for US the risk is only for YOU so people tend to say "just go for it" IMO, not that it's bad advice I just think it's easy to say when it's not you. My idea of how I answer questions on this board is that I try not to say what I think I am supposed to say and try to instead say the most helpful thing I can even if it sounds dumb or chicken.

So anyway I think you need to find a way to ask without asking!! If you know what I mean. Like, I wouldn't say "I like you do you like me." But, I might say "it was awesome when you were here, when are you coming back??" or something, I mean that specific question might not make sense but something along those lines. The idea is that you prompt him to take a step, but if he does not want to do it, you don't have egg on your face, you would be able to easily say "oh, no, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant you're a good friend."

Anyway that is how I would approach it!! Good luck!!


Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment