Settling down too young?

Hi girls :)
So, I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years and are looking to buy a house and move in together. I have been having doubts about this relationship for a while but not for anything he has done. He is a great guy but I feel that we met too young (I'm 22 now) and we haven't really had the chance to live our lives before settling down. These thoughts seem to come up every now and again and I push them back down again.

Now, I have recently been on a date with another guy who has no idea that I am in a relationship and I loved it! I know it's terrible and I don't need the lecture but I would like advise on what this means for my relationship. It might be the attention that I enjoy or the buzz of something new but is this worth ending a relationship for? Should I leave my boyfriend with the hope that I will meet someone else when I am ready to settle down or just swallow my feelings and move in with him?

Thanks in advance x

It definitely sounds like you're not ready to settle down. Many people dont think it is but, it's a big deal, especially since you've sought elsewhere for male attention. I think you should be upfront with your bf about how you feel. Express how much you love him, but you think the two of you are moving too fast, and would like to see what it's like to live independently. Let him know it's nothing he did wrong, but neither of you want to go about your lives with "what if's," or by regretting things you didn't do.

I know an older lady who got married right out of high school because she was pregant. Married for 16 years. Then divorced.

Then she went out and did all those dating things that people normally do during their college years. I figure it was a phase she missed, having married so early, and now she's going through that phase.

Then again the hardest thing for me was to realize I developed a "Life Script" early in my childhood of how my life ought to go. It was pretty much a carbon copy of how my parents life went. But then somewhere along in college my life didn't go as planned. Life took a sharp turn away from the "script".

I was left unsure what to do. Without a script, what am I to do? What direction do I go?

I had to create a new script, which was pretty much, "Life went this way, so that's the way it was supposed to go," and as life unfolds, I just retroactively add it to "That's the way it was supposed to go, because that's the way it went."

Ask any old person if their life went according to plan. I bet no one's did.

The secret, I'm told, is to be happy with the way things are right now. The present moment. You can still make decisions about which way to go. Just don't get caught up in "I'll be happy as soon as...", because that's the path to endless never being happy now, always waiting to be happy sometime in the future, missing the now.


Sis, I think you've already made your decision. You wouldn't have agreed to go a date if you were happy in your relationship. It's not healthy for you or your partner for you to stay in this relationship when your not happy and are courting other people. It's better for you to leave now and "sow your oats". You're still learning about yourself, what you like, what you want, who you are. If yall are meant?to be, you'll find your way back to each other.?

I may be no expert, but being with someone you love IS living your life. It may be the popular brainwash of modern society to make everyone question the value of love and family over a carreer (or fooling around), but love and family is the backbone of life. I'd say enjoy what you have and don't preoccupy yourself with what you don't have. I'd love to be rich and go globetrotting, but I wouldn't pass up a life with someone I love on the chance a different dream might fall into my lap someday. If you need some time to experience other things in life, there are lots of ways to treat yourself without sabotaging a good thing you already have.


Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment