He's a player, and I wish he'd fall for me

I worked with him for about a year, and then all of a sudden, he started really hitting on me. I always put him off, though I enjoyed it, until I got into it with my husband, and it led to divorce. After that, I stopped rejecting the flirting. Within a couple of days after being separated from my husband, I slept with him. In the beginning, he told me he was gonna sleep with lots of people because that's what he does to get over an ex. He had broken up with his girlfriend before I separated from my husband. So I accepted this, and assumed it would eventually run its course, and then we could start dating. But instead, one day he told me while we were at work,?
"I'm seeing someone."
Then I was hurt, very badly, and I had to listen to him talk about this new girl at work. After a few days, he was talking about marrying her. Everyone at work told me he's not really marrying her, because he's a player, and in two weeks he'llsomeone else. I suffered through it, and eventually, we ended up at a bar after work with coworkers. He started talkinf to me again, it had been a few weeks, and showed me pictures of him and the girl. He was open with me about it, saying she's really nice, but that he doesn't love her. I don't think he had any clue that I was so hurt, and that I was trying so hard not to react.?
Over the next few months, he kept going back and forth between that girl, his ex girlfriend, and occasionally randoms in between, and I eventually had to take a leave of absence from work. I told my boss it was due to the divorce, but it wasn't. I had found myself crying in the break room too many times every time he went on a trip with his ex, or posted "in a relationship" on Facebook, even though it was all so ridiculous in the eyes of my coworkers.?
One day, while I was on my leave, a coworker texted me that he had left work and was in rehab. Apparently he was in big trouble from a recent car accident, facing extended jail time, and the rehab was an effort to shorten it. So I came back to work.?
I remember being much more at ease at work with him gone, but it eventually got too hard wondering if he was okay, if he was seeing his ex, the new girl, or someone else. I reached out, and right away became someone he talked to every day while in rehab. He was still very much on and off with his ex, and he told me that all his doctors and therapists told him to stay away from her because she was toxic.?
Now I was hanging around again, waiting, hoping that being there for him would pay off and he'd pick me when he finally got over her. As you can guess, that never happened. After rehab, he came back to work, and right after that, the ex girlfriend moved to another country for a year for school. ?He claimed he was finally rid of her. Once I heard that, I invited him to go on a boat with me for a day. (He still faces the jail time, rehab did nothing to lessen it) My plan worked, and we were on the boat, having an amazing day, and it was super romantic. But it didn't last. After a week or two, I learned that he had started talking to the Tinder girl again. Now his plan was to get married to her, and then leave the country to escape his jail time. He said it was his only option because he was NOT gonna go to jail. He also still claimed that he still doesn't love her, but added that she would just be satisfied to be a wife and a mom, and that he needs her in order to try to fix his legal situation. (I have never been able to make sense of any of this)
On my birthday, right before he got fired from our job for tardiness, he gave me his acoustic guitar, and paid for my birthday party. When he got fired, I said goodbye to him in the parking lot. He said I was "more than a friend " and I said I would miss him if he left the country. Now, I haven't spoken to him at all since he was fired. The only information I have about him was on Instagram, where the tinder girl posts pictures of them together all the time, shows off her engagement ring, calls herself "happy wife" alls him "price charming" and just the other day, said his apartment is her "new home."?
I am so heartbroken. I have never been with any other man who made me feel as good as I do when I am with him. Now, I simply don't call, in hopes that he will eventually call me. I have dated other men, I have written journals, seen a therapist, gone out with friends, and read books and articles. But I miss him, so, so much. And I don't know what to do.

you lost a loving husband for the dude that basically used you for sex, i have one advice for you and that you have to take becuase their is a reason why you cant forget about him since you are constantly be reminded of him. You need to delete him as a friend and any memory you have of him, if you dont do that than you cant never actually start getting over him. Also I recommend that you forget about him for good because he will lead you to ton of money lost. Because for him leaving the country while their an arrest warrant for him and time for him to complete in prison here, than he will lose his citizenship for good, if he steps in this country again he will be sent to jail or second thing that will happen to him the investigator will look for him and find him, than work with the country he planning on moving too to sent him back because he have to give his time in jail. There is no way for him to run away from jail. I'm sorry tell you this but players doesnt change?

yeah, everything about this guys has "trouble" written all over him. he sleeps with women to get over breakups, he can't hold a job, he got in trouble with the law, and he caught you at your most vulnerable moment. He's an unstable and toxic person.?YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT. If anything, I feel terrible for his new girl. I have every reason to believe that his interest in you led to your divorce (not primarily, but if it didn't get the ball rolling downhill, it was certainly the straw that broke the camel's back.) Since he had such a hige effect on you, my best advice is to cut all contact from him. delete his number, block his instagram, get rid of everything that reminds you of him.

 

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