senior boys// HELP!!

​Okay, so I'm about to be 15 and I'm a freshman in high school. I've known this guy for a year now and I was head over heels for him since day one. We both worked at the same summer camp, and this year me and him got really close. He's a senior and is 17 right now turning 18 in november. He found out tha i had feelings for him and he was messing with me for a few weeks trying to see if it was true. We hung out a few times, and he was always very touchy with me. He didnt tell me until after a few weeks that he had feelings for me too by then I was pretty smitten with myself. He was supposed to come over to watch a movie with me and he asked i he should bring condoms. I told him no because im a virgin still and i want to lose it to a guy im in a relationship with and truly care about. He said that he just wanted to make sure because he didnt want to show up "unprepared". He ended up cancelling on me last minute. When school started up again we kinda lost touch. Im trying to talk to him again but hes the drum major and hes always busy with band. I want to reconnect with him and honestly i really want to sleep with him, but im conflicted. Hes gonna be 18 I'm not trying to make him catch a case. I know your all gonna say that im overexagerating but i really am in love with him. were not even together and i get jealouse when he doesn't talk to me, and i get sad when i dont see him, and ive tried talking to other guys but im not interester in any of them. I honestly dont know what to do... Please help!!

Sounds like lust, and not love. Love takes a long time to develop, when you're in your teens, love is even further off. Lust is hard to shake off- it does cause feelings of jealousy and anger and a mix of other emotions. Love doesn't exactly do that. It does- but it's different. Really hard to explain. I have only been in love once, but it started as lust, and the feelings I felt at those stages were highly different.

I would be careful. he sounds like he may only be around for sex... as is with a lot of teenaged boys (even girls). As well, with him turning 18 in a couple months, anything that happens after- even if you are consenting, could get him a criminal rep, as he will be an adult, and under the law you won't be. Happened to a guy I knew.. he is now a sex offender even though the girl was consenting. Parents push it, and bam. He's stuck with that for life.

In time, your lust for him will diminish. It won't last, and the feelings with disappear. He will eventually be something you just chuckle to yourself about everything.

I honestly would drop it. He's obviously not interested anymore. It's easy to say 'drop it', but harder to do. I suggest keeping yourself busy. Go out with friends, get a job, join an afterschool program, volunteer somewhere, hit the gym!. You may meet someone else that sweep you off your feet doing one of these things.

I find when I have nothign to do, I sit and dwell on lost 'love' and 'lust' amongst other things. Being busy helps so much.

 

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