Asexuality

Hi,I'm facing some serious problem. I don't know whether I'm supposed to discuss it here, Nowadays I had noticed some changes in the behavioural of my husband. He is moody all the time and when I ask about the reason he is just ignoring me. I think he hates me. He doesn't have any interest in sex either. While browsing, I read that deep depression or anxiety may lead to asexuality. Is it true? I don't know whether his problem is related to family, business, friends or sex. Now, I'm thinking of consulting an expert psychologist to know what the real problem is and for a sex counselling. I had already contacted Dr. Eliana cohen ( http://www.drcohen.ca/​ ) in Toronto for the same. But how should I convince him? Do I need to ask about his problem once again? I'm really confused. ?

I think you should try talking to him. Maybe go to the therapist alone, first. Ask her how she thinks you should get your husband to come to the next session.

It could be many things, depression, chemical imbalance, or an affair among them, from the few details provided in your posting. Asexuality is not likely one of them, as it's very rare, and if he ever enjoyed sexual identity and sexual expression with you, he's not asexual. The intensity and frequency of sex has peaks and valleys in most marriages, just as the frequency and intensity of conversation does. There are two main possibilities: he doesn't know what's bothering him, or he knows and isn't ready to share it with you yet. Either way, he ought to talk with a counselor or therapist. Don't go straight to a sex therapist, because the current lack of sex between you may just be a symptom of some other problem that needs to be addressed. Help him find one, and even make an appointment for him. Offer to drive him to the appointment and wait in the car. Make it easy for him to go. However, you can't make him go, if he is unwilling. One thing to keep in mind is that men are generally more comfortable talking with and taking advice from men, and we women are generally more comfortable talking with women about their problems. Start with a therapist who's a man.

 

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