Okay, so I basically have a crush on this boy that I've spoken to for nearly 3-4 weeks now. I think he's lovely and everything and we connect really well at times, but there's just one issue that really is getting to me lately. He's never sober when we speak, If we speak over the internet or on text etc, he's either stoned or really drunk or taking pills, and I didn't see it as a problem the first few times but then I realised it was every day. Even as I write this post, he's at a party completely off his face. I really do like speaking to him, but we hardly ever talk because of his lifestyle and we're only like 16-17 so it's a little bit of an issue to me. I have spoken to him about it but he just didn't take it into consideration.
I hate the fact that he slow replies as well. I must get a reply every four-six hours or so, and sometimes I don't even get a reply for over 12 hours. It's the worst thing ever because I really want us to work out and maybe get closer, but I find it so impossible when I feel like it's just a one-sided thing.
What do I do? My best friend says that she doesn't understand why I'm still speaking to him if he is like this, but I really don't want to stop speaking to him. He makes me so happy but at times, I'm always left on my own and feeling upset because he's out 24/7 never sober at all. It's not good for himself and it's not the best thing for me either.I don't think it's a problem to him because he enjoys doing it, but he doesn't understand how I feel when I really want to try and make an effort to speak to him. I just feel like crying because I feel like he'd rather go out and get completely leathered rather than try and make things work with the person that actually cares for him. I mean, I saw him last night because I went to watch his band at a gig but even then he was high and I hardly spoke to him except the few times when he came over to kiss me or something. I've had like 4 texts off of him today and they weren't even proper conversations. I'm so annoyed and I just really wanna speak to him but i just never have the chance anymore.I don't know what to do. Please give me advice x
If i were you, I'd stay away and let him do his thing. me and my best friend both got togther with these two guys that were always high or drunk. I fell for the guy that i liked and we were great for a while after we got together, after a little bit he started getting locked up all the time. all he cared about was getting high at this point. and he left me because he got locked up again, its been a year since he left and its still killing me. but im still waiting for him. and as for my best friend, he leaves her at home all the time by herself, never tels her where he is going or anything. he does literally nothing besides get high, and now hes turned my best friend into a drug addict too. So unless you wanna get hurt, be alone, or be a drug addict yourself, i would highly recommend not being with him. but if you do, good luck! i hope this helped?
If you want a person, you should want that as a whole package. This isn't just a minor change or adjusting which is OK in a relationship, but a big change, and chances are, if you two got together, you would want to change him in who he is (rebelling teenage or adolescent boy I guess?), which is a no-go in relationships... Maybe you should give up this guy? :(?
This hppened to me too.
Crushed on a guy who drank, smoked, and took acid and mushrooms.
At the time i was sober/straight edge?
I used to think it was a huge issue, and felt bad for him, worried all the time, and thought it was annoying to "baby sit" him on facetime calls.
Then he got me into weed and i kinda chilled out, got to know him better and changed my opinion about that stuff.
So i would say that if being drug free is important to you, you should try to distance yourself, and remember that its very difficult to "help" someone like that so just try to see it differently and not judge him too hard about it.
Keep walking girl, you can do better. If he was really into you he wouldnt be treating you like dirt.