Do you think dating him is ok? help
Hi, I am 14 years old and I like this guy but he is 21. For a 14 year old I am taller than every girl in my grade ( my second year in highschool , I skiped a grade ) . We were thinking we could lay low until im 18 he will be 25 by then. I dont want to have sex until I am married, he agrees on that too, I just think that once his friends see me and my friends see him also pur familoes something bad is going to happen. We our kind of opposites, thats also kind of a problem. I am tall, he is short ( but he likes it when girls are taller than him , he likes long legs) , he has short cropped blond hair, I have long dark brown dip dyed turquiose hair , he has blue eues , I have brown eyes with natural eye tail ( looks like eyeliner but not) , - pink skin and pale skin, I have chocolate brown skin , hes older and im younger. But we fit together perfectly he thinks that too, I feel like im in love, but what do you think I should do( lol that was like a poem)
? Ok thanks reply soon BYEEEEE!!!! I SUPPPRT PANDAAAASSSS.

sorry to say this but i think theres too much difference in your ages right now.

i mean hes your age PLUS half of your age. your parents aren't gonna accept it and his parents shouldn't either. theres too much age difference.

maybe when you're 18 and he's 25 it'll be different but atm....no i don't think dating him is ok at all.

seriously a 21yo guy isn't gonna have a lot of stuff in common with a 14yo girl.

he should be socialising with girls closer to his own age.

 

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this. I was dating an older guy, but he was only three years older than me. The thing about older guys, is that they're ready for stuff that you may not necessarily be ready for. You say no sex, but you're probably going to end up doing other things; handjobs, blowjobs, being fingered, getting eaten out, that kind of thing. If you date for a while, you're bound to end up feeling hot and bothered around each other and eventually you might give in to these feelings. You should discuss this with him and think about this for yourself. Are you okay with doing these sorts of things at your age? Setting boundaries that you know you can stick to is a good thing to do. 

Also, your age difference is bigger than most people would consider "okay", including your parents, and that's a big thing. If your parents found out and were angry about it, he could get in very big trouble. The dating rule (at least where I live) is 16 to 23. Or 24. So according to law, you're not even able to consent to dating someone over the age of 18, let alone 21. And, (again, where I live) I believe (I will have to double check later) that they changed the definition of "rape" to include any sexual activity. So, if you gave in to the kind of stuff I mentioned earlier, your parents could report him to the police and he could get charged for sexual harrassment, even rape. That would brand him a sex offender for life. 

All in all, I think you need to look at how your personalities go together. Your physical differences have nothing to do with how opposite you are, it's how you feel and act and things you're interested in doing. A 21 year old is in college, or at least way out of high school, and has 10x the experience you do. Whereas for you, you've just gotten into high school and you have many things to learn. 

I suggest you try and find someone closer to your age, but in the end it will be about what YOU feel and what YOU want to do. Just be careful, and make sure you (and him!) are aware of all the consequences.

Well, the age difference between you to is 7 years. 7 YEARS. That's a bit too many. And remember, he's is college and you just got into highschool. AND it's illegal. I say it's not good for you.

No. For one normal guys wont want to date 11 year olds, That would make him pretty desprate and also by law a pedophile meaning he would go to jail for years, No offense to you im sure your beautiful but. Second. He's had much more expeience dating than you by the time hes 21, Meaning he will be able to play you very easily^^. Trustme, That will never turn out well I can promise you that.

 

I'm with the other girls on this. It might seem like a good idea, but there are far more serious issue than either one of you is willing to recognize. For one thing, whether you like it or not, height, is a poor criteria on which to judge whether or not you should be with someone twice as old as you. Would you think it was suspicious for a 14 year old to be involved with a 7 year old? That's the age difference here. Yes, you're a teenager, and you're in high school. Be a teenager in high school. The reality is, with him so much older than you, the age gap is something almost impossible for you to get past. This could have repercussions far beyond what you foresee. If it were religion or race or something that your family wouldn't approve of, that would be one thing, but we're talking about something that's actually not legal because you're under 18. This doesn't sound like a good idea. 

 

Sorry, I know that this is the last thing that any girl wants to hear, but you're very young, you have all the time in the world to date guys. So enjoy being in high school. Get to know guys your own age. Some will be jerks, some will be immature, and they won't be worth your time, but there are also really great guys and you will never know that  unless you let yourself get to know them. I'm afraid that in most of these circumstances, it will more than likely end up with you getting hurt, whether its people not approving to him leaving to be with a girl his own age. You just don't know. When you're 18, you'll be far more mature, and then the age gap won't be that big of a deal, that's really the best advice I can give you is to wait until you're 18 to date someone else over 18. Especially with that big of an age difference. It might not seem like a big deal, because you really like him, but it is a big difference and at this point in your life, it could do a lot more hurt than good. Give yourself time :) 

^^^^^^ thats really sensible advice

I agree with all the other girls, just no. There's something seriously wrong with a man who wants to be involved romantically with a teenage girl.

You may feel like you want this now, but what's going to happen later on... Even if you keep it a secret from your parents, they are going to ask when did you meet, where how, all that type of stuff and you most likely won' t want to lie. Not only that, you should wait. You need to tell him, "If you really care for me wait for me... in 4 years if you meet up with me and you still want to be with me then let's do it" 

It's probably 2 or so years now that I look at the date. But still, if he is willing to wait, then maybe you guys might actually have a chance.

cuteblackkittie:
Hi, I am 14 years old and I like this guy but he is 21. For a 14 year old I am taller than every girl in my grade ( my second year in highschool , I skiped a grade ) . We were thinking we could lay low until im 18 he will be 25 by then. I dont want to have sex until I am married, he agrees on that too, I just think that once his friends see me and my friends see him also pur familoes something bad is going to happen. We our kind of opposites, thats also kind of a problem. I am tall, he is short ( but he likes it when girls are taller than him , he likes long legs) , he has short cropped blond hair, I have long dark brown dip dyed turquiose hair , he has blue eues , I have brown eyes with natural eye tail ( looks like eyeliner but not) , - pink skin and pale skin, I have chocolate brown skin , hes older and im younger. But we fit together perfectly he thinks that too, I feel like im in love, but what do you think I should do( lol that was like a poem)
? Ok thanks reply soon BYEEEEE!!!! I SUPPPRT PANDAAAASSSS.

The important question is "how do you feel about it?"

If you like him,  and he is crazy about you I think you both can work it out.
Look, there wil be plenty of advice suggesting that he is a perv, that you are too young, that you will regret later, that you should look long term, that your parents wont approve, that there is a law against this.
I am sure you are aware of all these things, yet you want to have this relationship.
It isnt that you are being gullible and he is forcing you into some kind of abusive relationship. Seems like you have warmed to this idea and it does not seem that your mind is being manipulated or that you are being exploited.
So, just have a chat with him. This should be between you and him and no one else. Talk about such issues and work it out between yourselves, if thats what you want.
Just watch how many will come down heavily on me suggesting that I am encouraging something illegal.
This is your life and your emotions. There is nothing illegal about having emotions and working on thiose feelings. It is only natural and normal to be going through what you are experiencing. This is about being attracted to someone you like who reciprocates your affections.
You are the only one together with the guy, who have the right to decide. Remember, where there is a will there is a way.
Good luck and have fun. 14 and 21 is not a huge age difference. From the way you express yourself and write, you seem like a mature girl. Dont let others make you think you are a baby who needs to be chaperoned or protected. What are you being protected from???

 

just to let you know and to complete my rant, I am in a relationship similar to yours. He was much older and I was a lot younger than you when we started. We were discreet and nothing bad happened. The same doom and gloom was projected by some. People like that  negative advice because it is safe. Is it exciting and fun? Not at all.
I think it is great. Lay low if you think that is the best strategy. Being opposites is great too. Opposites attract each other so it should be fun. Pleaase dont go talking about it to anyone and everyone. Just keep a very few "confidential" friends. If at some stage in your relationship you do decide you want to have sex, just make sure you play it safe and take precautions against things like pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
I tell you it is fun with an older guy. They are so much more mature, witty and intelligent and have a nicer perspective along with being more caring and attentive, sensitive and loving. It can be a beautiful relationship if you want it.
Go with your heart not by others advice or opinions.

 

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