7 years older?

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Hi! I'm a girl from Sweden that have being wondering ... I really can be together whit him? When I was .. 5 my brother find a friend.. And he had a bigbrother.. My mom are friend whit there mom... Now every new year we celebrate together, and this bigbrother is 7 years older then me.. But we have so much to talk about , infakt I am going whit him and a friend to a festival.. And we are going to camp.. But I have a chanse? i should not run after him but.. plz answer ! so i can hear what ur thougts are (really sorry for my bad english...) havae a great summer!!:D :smileyvery-happy:

how are old you two?

Im 14 and hes 21

I don't want to sound mean but I don't think you could really call that a relationship.
He's an adult and you're becoming a teenager, he has probably also had way more experience than you if you know what I mean.
You might be a mature girl but the way I see it, it wouldn't work out.

I agree with LauraLikesCake.

Seven years is a huge difference

between the ages of the teens and the twenties.

Now if you two were both in your twenties or older,

that's a different story.

The mindset of a 14 year old is different than

the mindset of a 21 year old.

Things like goals, priorities, and maturity levels.

Don't get me wrong, you may be mature

for someone your age, as in,

you want to be with a guy how is mature also.

But a 21 year old is on a different level.

 

I have no idea what the age of consent laws in Sweden are, but it might be illegal.

 

When I was 15, I was in a relationship with someone 7 years older than me. We dated for two years. It can be emotionally difficult sometimes, and if I could go back, I probably wouldn't have even started a relationship with him in the first place.

 

It is your choice though.


serasera wrote:
Im 14 and hes 21


I just looked it up.

The age of sexual consent in Sweden is 15.

 

but like the other ladies said.. 14 and 21 is a huge different.

 

14 is still a child to me in my eyes. Its not a child in a 14yr olds eyes, but you'll understand what I mean when you hit my/his age.

 

i'll be 21 next month and I don't think a 21yr old has any business trying to have sex with a 14yr old.

 

i'm not chewing you out... The mother in me just came out.... Id kick my daughters a$s if she was 14 and hooking up with a 21yr old grown man.

 

I was 14 and hooked up with a 20yr old.... I had no business doing that... But it was exciting at the time because my thought process was "OH! and older man is interested in me!" and the adrenaline rush of it all because we obviously had to sneak around.... i had to sneak out of the house at night..

 

 

man, i wish someone woulda slapped me when I was a young teenager.....


oneangeltease716 wrote:
man, i wish someone woulda slapped me when I was a young teenager.....

Don't we all. :P

 

Don't expect much out of the relationship because it's most likely just going to be about sex for him.

i ain't going to rude about this because i have a friend whos with a 37 year old guy and shes only 17 so yeah,but,really? im surprized im the only one who has probably realized this-your really young like what 14? jail bait,he could be counted as child motester.

Sera the question is.. do you like him? I know everyone wants to say you are a child. But are you? just because you are 14?? I have been with a much older guy and the only person that makes the decision if it is right or wrong is YOU. First love is beautiful and yes it may involve sex. So what?

I lost my virginity to a much older guy when I was 12. It felt right. I didnt feel guilty and I didnt ask or tell anyone about it.

The experience was beautiful and the sex awesome. Older guys are more experienced and you want your first time to be like WOW !!

Just make sure you take precautions and dont fall prego or get STDs. Also make sure your school grades dont get bad and prepare yoursel emotionally.

Dont let anyone make a moral issue of this.


serasera wrote:
Im 14 and hes 21

That's not right at all. You have a crush on him; that's all it should be. You've only just become a teenager, you're legally still a child and his an adult. If he dated you then that would be peadophilia.


becky12 wrote:

Sera the question is.. do you like him? I know everyone wants to say you are a child. But are you? just because you are 14?? I have been with a much older guy and the only person that makes the decision if it is right or wrong is YOU. First love is beautiful and yes it may involve sex. So what?

I lost my virginity to a much older guy when I was 12. It felt right. I didnt feel guilty and I didnt ask or tell anyone about it.

The experience was beautiful and the sex awesome. Older guys are more experienced and you want your first time to be like WOW !!

Just make sure you take precautions and dont fall prego or get STDs. Also make sure your school grades dont get bad and prepare yoursel emotionally.

Dont let anyone make a moral issue of this.


-_______-

I agree with like verybody your 14 if you wanna date somebody older than you date a 15 year old. He`s 7 years older than you just think about it when you turn 18 and its legal for you to date he`ll be 25! If you were like 20 and he was 27 it`d be different. But don`t waste your life. And with the different age, maturity, experience and life, levels it`ll be a terrible relationship.My mom is like 9 years younger than my dad and they met when she was 21 and now theyre divorced and totally not even the same peopl, because my dad was so much older.

FYI boomting, what the girl was describing isnt pedophilia.

Pedophilia is when someone is attracted to PREPUBESCENT girls/boys.

The girl who is asking the question is 14 or 15 NOT PREPUBESCENT. She is an adolescent or in other words a YOUNG ADULT. She may be ready for a relationship with someone older and she may be far more mature than what you give her credit for. This forum is a means to have a constructive debate and express opinions in a nice way. I dont think comments like yours are helpful. This isnt pedophilia!

By making comments like yours we teens give others the impression that we are childish, emotionally immature andthis really doesnt help with the impression people already have of teens ie mentally immature. If you want to be considered a kid then by all means enjoy that status but dont try and influence others to believe they are kids. That is so not cool and terribly wrong.

 


enlightenedgurl wrote:

FYI boomting, what the girl was describing isnt pedophilia.

Pedophilia is when someone is attracted to PREPUBESCENT girls/boys.

The girl who is asking the question is 14 or 15 NOT PREPUBESCENT. She is an adolescent or in other words a YOUNG ADULT. She may be ready for a relationship with someone older and she may be far more mature than what you give her credit for. This forum is a means to have a constructive debate and express opinions in a nice way. I dont think comments like yours are helpful. This isnt pedophilia!

By making comments like yours we teens give others the impression that we are childish, emotionally immature andthis really doesnt help with the impression people already have of teens ie mentally immature. If you want to be considered a kid then by all means enjoy that status but dont try and influence others to believe they are kids. That is so not cool and terribly wrong.

 


A man wanting to have sex with someone who is LEGALLY still a child? Sounds like peadophillia to me. Just because she's a teen doesn't mean anything in the eyes of the law. A young adult? Oh please. How can you be a young adult when you can't even go to clubs legally, drink legally, buy cigs legally, have a drivers license? :smileyvery-happy:

She may be mature for her age yes, but in the eyes of the law - and society - she's still a child. Why are you even trying to condone this? How was the way I expressed my opinion in an "un-nice" way? There's plenty of gurls on this thread that disagree with her dating a guy this old, yet you haven't pulled any of them up on it.

 

Edit: I knew you'd be a young teen whose had sex with a man or else you wouldn't have got so het up about it. Not everyone agrees with you, chill out.

 

SIGH :( :(  The responses are really extreme and judgemental especially with the words LEGALLY, MORALLY, TOO YOUNG, CANT LEGALLY DRINK OR DRIVE OR GET CIGGIES.

Do you realise that all these values are man made? Sex is a biological function, and a normal aspect of your being. Some girls and boys will mature sexually earlier than others. Some will crave that need for intimacy and closeness earlier than others. How judgemental and brain washed some people can be amazes me.

There is no right or wrong age, because once someone has reached puberty those tendencies will sprong up as a natural developmental process. How dare we put a moral or legal tag to it. Just because the law makes a statement, you think biology will obey and respect that? We know from past experiences that trying to suppress a need or desire will only be manifest with more dire consequences. What we need to understand that sex will happen and we need to give advice regarding responsible behaviour and understanding of consequences so those who engage in sex wont have any issues or problems. That is responsible advice. Not judging and condemning!  Wow.... come on guys. Display some brain power here.

oops I might have offended someone here.  Apparently I was heated in my discussion..lol..on the contrary I find it amusing that such narrowminded thoughts exist. No wonder us teens are labelled dimwits.

LOL.. it isnt Paedophilia boomting. She isnt prepubescent!!!!!!!!!!

Also I am not condoning anything. I am asking her to be careful thats all. She is already thinking about doing it. Believe me when you start thinking about it, thats the start and it will happen.

Have you read about that english 15 yr old school girl who eloped to France with her 35 yr old school teacher. They planned it so well no one knew!!!

Also there was this 14 yr old American girl who eloped with her 28 yr iold bf to mexico and became pregnant to him.

Girls are doing this more and more and they are escaping this society with ideas like yours.

Do you think you will be happy if girls take such drastic steps or would you prefer if girls understood that it is important to be responsible, take precautions and understand the consequences?

 

Heard of Jimmy Savile? He was molesting teenage girls; his a peadophile, end of discussion.

The fact that these men think that running off with girls as young as this makes me wonder about their mental health. How they can think this is normal is completely beyond me.

 

That 15 year old school girl who eloped to France? The man had mental health issue and his parents were begging and crying on national TV pleading for him to come back because he was "unstable". You'd want your daughter/little sister/cousin dating a man like that? Lol.

 

There's NOTHING normal about these men and that's the plain and simple truth. Men that feel they can't date women but children have issues.

 LOL.. boomting you are contradicting yourself. Jimmy Saville was molesting girls. There wasnt mutual consent.LOL.

Still thats not paedophilia. They were NOT prepubescent girls. Dont you understand. I guess you dont..lol

I am not the one heated in this debate. You seem to be furious with this discussion. Quite entertaining indeed.

France had an age of consent that is 15 and Spain the age iof consent is 13. So by what you say the whole country or all europeaans are paedophiles...lol.. Jesus.. what a joke.

I honestly think you are making a mockery of young teenagers who want to have a mature debate and who want to be able to think for themselves without you trying to stifle free thinking. You are bigoted and really have a narrow view on things. Believe me when

*sigh* i

If you can go to prison for having sex with a minor then how is it right?

 

I'm not narrow-minded at all; you cannot label me "bigoted" or "narrow-minded" from a debate on one topic. That's quite offensive actually.

 

There's women on this thread advising this girl not to pursue a relationship with him and that it isn't right. There's even girls here who HAVE had a relationship like this when they were younger and are even advising against it.

 

Neither am I lol. Age of consent for sex or grown men having sex with minors?

I haven't got time for this back and forth debate. My grandad's died and I'm attending his funeral today.

lol.. this is about someone who is 14 wanting to have a relationship with a 21 yr old.. not someone who is a minor with Jimmy saville...LOL.. dont you think you are taking this to an extreme and exaggerating a bit..MUCH..a real pity that we have such bigoted narrow minded girls.

OOPsie..  :P   :)   :P


enlightenedgurl wrote:

lol.. this is about someone who is 14 wanting to have a relationship with a 21 yr old.. not someone who is a minor with Jimmy saville...LOL.. dont you think you are taking this to an extreme and exaggerating a bit..MUCH..a real pity that we have such bigoted narrow minded girls.

OOPsie..  :P   :)   :P


I wouldn't agree with that. You've got no basis to call her bigoted and narrow minded. In fact, when you called her out, you were the one that was being disrespectful towards her when she hadn't even said anything rude. You're going on and on about her "exaggerating", when you could, instead, calmly explain to her why you disagree with her.

 

Instead, you choose to act like a child. No one is going to take you seriously if you decide to say such moronic things.

i think that love is love and you can't put an age on it. but the thing is, he might not love you, and the sexual consent age in sweden is 15... so you are not quite old enough. i went out with someone 5 years older than me and he broke my heart. often when you go out with people who are older than you they think they can push you around. its a risk, but think about it, do you REALLY love him or is it just fancying him or liking him, if so, don't risk it. it's not worth it!

I agree. While sum girls may have their heart broken, not all have bad experiences. My bf and me have been together for a wile now and I will finish school in slightly more than a year.

What i dont agree with is that just because a guy is much older than a girl doesnt mean he is going to take advantage of her. Many girls find that having a more mature guy feels so sexy and dont find anything wrong with that.

The word pedophile is so wrongly used all the time. There is so much hype and paranoia about this issue and people dont use common sense. She was making some real bizzarre comparisons and giving silly examples. It shows they dont know the meaning of the word in the first place.

While sme 15 yr old girls may want to be called  a "child"and treated as "kids" not al girls want to be treated that way. I for one hate being called a 'child' or a 'kid' and I would hate for people to make assumptions that just because I am with an older guy that I am being manipulated or taken advantage of. That makes me look dumb. I am not dumb and can work out for myself when something is not right.

That was my argument. I think each one has their own way of looking at things and there is nothing right or wrong here. What was being said was almost extreme. Puts all of us teens in a very poor light. Sorry 


enlightenedgurl wrote:

I agree. While sum girls may have their heart broken, not all have bad experiences. My bf and me have been together for a wile now and I will finish school in slightly more than a year.

What i dont agree with is that just because a guy is much older than a girl doesnt mean he is going to take advantage of her. Many girls find that having a more mature guy feels so sexy and dont find anything wrong with that.

The word pedophile is so wrongly used all the time. There is so much hype and paranoia about this issue and people dont use common sense. She was making some real bizzarre comparisons and giving silly examples. It shows they dont know the meaning of the word in the first place.

While sme 15 yr old girls may want to be called  a "child"and treated as "kids" not al girls want to be treated that way. I for one hate being called a 'child' or a 'kid' and I would hate for people to make assumptions that just because I am with an older guy that I am being manipulated or taken advantage of. That makes me look dumb. I am not dumb and can work out for myself when something is not right.

That was my argument. I think each one has their own way of looking at things and there is nothing right or wrong here. What was being said was almost extreme. Puts all of us teens in a very poor light. Sorry 


It depends on the beliefs of the person. Yes, Pedophilia is generally used as a broad term for all people who are interested in underaged people; the correct terminology would be "Ephebophilia".

 

The thing is, people are never going to believe you are capable when you're dating an older person (which I don't believe), but you've also got to be very alert and pay attention to your surroundings. It may seem okay, but dating an older person is dangerous when you're underaged, simply because of the law. You could get him or her in a huge amount of trouble. 

 

I'm not going to sound like a hypocrite though, since I currently have feelings for someone who's five years older than me.  But I do think it's a good thing that we're taking everything slowly, in that we still have growing to do. We're figuring out what we want and where we want to be. It may not seem like it, but you change a lot during the 16-26 age area and you might have different thoughts and feelings about stuff.

 

(I don't mean that you, or anyone else is "immature" or a child, but you're going to make a lot of mistakes, and there will be issues in your upcoming years. That's a reason I think most people feel that younger girls and boys aren't ready for commitment.)

 

You can't tell people what to do. If she chooses to date him, that's her decision; however, there are consequences to your actions and inactions and the ability to interpret those consequences might be a bit hard to handle for someone young, especially a fourteen year old. 

 

The relationship could always work, but I believe that she still has a lot of growing up to do. She's got her entire life ahead of her, and sometimes it's good to plan ahead. 

Alice, You make a lot of  sense and I am glad this discussion is happening. Yes the correct word is ephebophilia. You seem to know a lot. You are perhaps older or one of the moderators I guess.

I would like to ask you something though.... are young people the only ones making mistakes???  Can you explain why the divorce rate is so high in so called older, marriageable age, mature, all knowing, experienced generation???

Heartbreaks are prevalent, no matter what age you are. I know 25 or 30 yr olds who are emotionally immature!!

Mistakes happen but we learn from those mistakes. Just because we may make mistakes doesnt mean we have to stop living.

Teenagers are more advanced these days. You just have to turn on the news or read the newspapers or magazines. It is everywhere. We are aware of the bad that lurks around, we are more sexually aware, we are more developed physically and sexually, we have more knowledge when it comes to bad people and knowing what to avoid. If we go into relationships with someone older,  we are going into them with both eyes wide open.

I hate to give the impression to our "mature folk, parents and do gooders" ((who constantly dissuade us about having an older bf or who tell us about the so called "evil")), that we teenagers are weak, feeble, naive, innocent and incapable of making our minds when it comes to relationships.

It is pathetic to think that us teens are made to believe and are brainwashed that someone has taken advantage of us..awwwww.. how sad !!

I am not sure abt you, but we have strong and heated debates about this very fact in our schools.

But...you have explained yourself very well. Not many can do that.  :)

No one forces teens to go into relationships with older guys/girls. They choose to do that. When girls/guys start asking questions about such relationships it is the start and no matter what methods are used to stop them it will happen. That is why I used the 2 examples in my previous response to demonstrate how girls are escaping the country to go somewhere else where they can continue the relationship they chose to be in.

Is this okay for them to take such drastic steps? isnt that sad that they have to resort to such extreme methods?

Our countries are considered advanced, sophisticated, liberal, moderate etc etc. The existing laws fail such girls if they feel they have to escaps those laws that will penalise them. A real pity alice !!!


enlightenedgurl wrote:

Alice, You make a lot of  sense and I am glad this discussion is happening. Yes the correct word is ephebophilia. You seem to know a lot. You are perhaps older or one of the moderators I guess.

I would like to ask you something though.... are young people the only ones making mistakes???  Can you explain why the divorce rate is so high in so called older, marriageable age, mature, all knowing, experienced generation???

Heartbreaks are prevalent, no matter what age you are. I know 25 or 30 yr olds who are emotionally immature!!

Mistakes happen but we learn from those mistakes. Just because we may make mistakes doesnt mean we have to stop living.

Teenagers are more advanced these days. You just have to turn on the news or read the newspapers or magazines. It is everywhere. We are aware of the bad that lurks around, we are more sexually aware, we are more developed physically and sexually, we have more knowledge when it comes to bad people and knowing what to avoid. If we go into relationships with someone older,  we are going into them with both eyes wide open.

I hate to give the impression to our "mature folk, parents and do gooders" ((who constantly dissuade us about having an older bf or who tell us about the so called "evil")), that we teenagers are weak, feeble, naive, innocent and incapable of making our minds when it comes to relationships.

It is pathetic to think that us teens are made to believe and are brainwashed that someone has taken advantage of us..awwwww.. how sad !!

I am not sure abt you, but we have strong and heated debates about this very fact in our schools.

But...you have explained yourself very well. Not many can do that.  :)

No one forces teens to go into relationships with older guys/girls. They choose to do that. When girls/guys start asking questions about such relationships it is the start and no matter what methods are used to stop them it will happen. That is why I used the 2 examples in my previous response to demonstrate how girls are escaping the country to go somewhere else where they can continue the relationship they chose to be in.

Is this okay for them to take such drastic steps? isnt that sad that they have to resort to such extreme methods?

Our countries are considered advanced, sophisticated, liberal, moderate etc etc. The existing laws fail such girls if they feel they have to escaps those laws that will penalise them. A real pity alice !!!


I believe the reason the divorce rate is so high is probably because of the person, not their age itself. The thing is, when people rush into relationships, they're not taking the time to think. Marriage is forever. You have to know that once you're married, you can't just leave them, it's supposed to be a bond for the rest of your lives. And if you don't really know if you want to live with them forever, then do not get married. 

 

I'm not much older than you, I'm 16. I just have a lot of time to think. Sometimes thinking too much is a bad thing, though :P

 

Young people aren't the only ones who make mistakes, no. But it's good to build good habits while you're young, because when you're older, those habits stick. I'm not saying being young is to blame, but it's good to realize these things before you get ahead of yourself. People who get married when they're young generally divorce not too long afterwards. There are plenty of cases when it's the opposite, too.

 

It's not that teenagers can't make good decisions in relationships, it's that they usually don't. As well, they try to show adults that they are mature and strong and ignore what they're saying, but that's not the way to do it. You can't be defiant. You have to prove to yourself first that you are mature, and it's not a bragging right. Listen to advice that people give you instead of tuning it out. Generally when someone is trying to help you, they're helping you for the better, even if it's something that you don't want.

 

With the comment about teenagers being more advanced, I'd have to say I disagree. Yes, teenagers are more sexually advanced, but in the wrong way. Now, very young teenagers are losing their virginity for the wrong reasons. That's opening up to pregnancy, STDs and relationship problems among families. Again, they might not regret it, but usually the girls that do lose their virginities young don't end up with the person they had sex with, or they did it on a whim. I can think of a few of my old friends that fall under those categories.

 

I'm an observant person. I think that the reason why younger kids make so many mistakes is because they think relationships are "necessary" and everyone should have one. That's a very bad way of thinking. A relationship should come up when you know you have feelings for someone and want to be with them, not if "I saw him looking at me" or "he's hot". Those kinds of relationships don't last so long, so that's what I mean by not a lot of thought. :v

 

Adults don't think that teenagers can think for themselves, that's very true. I don't really like to be called a child, either. But we have to live with it until we can be on our own, have our own responsibilities and truly make our own decisions. 

 

I would never think it's a good thing to... escape the country to be with someone. Why on earth would you do that? I just seriously believe that's ludicrous. I believe that if you were really in love with someone so much that you would leave the country just to be with them, you would wait until you could be with them legally. 

 

Why do all teenagers want to rush? What is the rush? Why can't they wait? Trust me, you can keep a relationship underwraps until it's time to come out. Perhaps that's the best thing to do, because if you're open about it, that just leaves room for more judgment. You've got more time to yourself to see if you really want to be with that person. And honestly, when teenagers get into these relationships, they don't know a whole lot about them. 

 

I understand your side of the story, but I just think that many teenagers can't listen to advice or more simply, wait. There is time for relationships. You don't have to have sex and be married and live together or whatever just to be together. Taking it slowly is a great way to build a bond.

 

But even if you're an older person, rushing a relationship won't help you either. Even if you're more mature, the relationship won't work out unless you take the time to learn who that person is.


enlightenedgurl wrote:

I agree. While sum girls may have their heart broken, not all have bad experiences. My bf and me have been together for a wile now and I will finish school in slightly more than a year.

What i dont agree with is that just because a guy is much older than a girl doesnt mean he is going to take advantage of her. Many girls find that having a more mature guy feels so sexy and dont find anything wrong with that.

The word pedophile is so wrongly used all the time. There is so much hype and paranoia about this issue and people dont use common sense. She was making some real bizzarre comparisons and giving silly examples. It shows they dont know the meaning of the word in the first place.

While sme 15 yr old girls may want to be called  a "child"and treated as "kids" not al girls want to be treated that way. I for one hate being called a 'child' or a 'kid' and I would hate for people to make assumptions that just because I am with an older guy that I am being manipulated or taken advantage of. That makes me look dumb. I am not dumb and can work out for myself when something is not right.

That was my argument. I think each one has their own way of looking at things and there is nothing right or wrong here. What was being said was almost extreme. Puts all of us teens in a very poor light. Sorry 


I appreciate this post much more because you don't sound arrogant. Well these are your beliefs and I'll always disagree with young teens dating someone who's legally an adult but if you're happy then that's fine.

I wouldn't let my son/daughter do what you're doing and running off to another country wouldn't help the situation; my trust in them would've disappeared and I'd be relucatant to let them out anywhere.

 

I understand that some girls don't want to be treated as a "child" but until your no longer dependent on your parent(s) that's what you are. Obviously as you become older you get treated differently like at my age I can stay out longer, go to parties, drink (in moderation), wear high heels etc. Ever thought that parents treat their teenage children as childs because they want to protect them?

 

I've seen what happens when teens get too much freedom and are treated like adults and it's not pretty. Mums who get the role of being a mother to their child and a friend mixed up are some of the main culprits for treating their teenage daughter as an adult. They take their daughter out (illegally) to clubs, buy them drinks, let them wear clothes waaay too old and provocative for them. They discuss topics with their daughter which shouldn't be discussed between a mother and her teenage daughter and let them basically do whatever the hell they want. Then they wander why they're pregnant or bringing all these men into their houses at all times of the morning.

 

"What i dont agree with is that just because a guy is much older than a girl doesnt mean he is going to take advantage of her."

No it doesn't but too many times this is the case. Maybe this doesn't include your man but my older cousin told me (she's 21) most guys who go for young girls have a crappy car, crappy job, no ambition etc. etc...I don't find that sexy.

 

When I look at my older male cousins in my family, I'd actually be disgusted if they were dating a girl my age or younger. What would my 25 year old cousin find appealing in a 14 year old girl? Is what I'd be asking myself. Think of your dad or uncles (if you have any), they're probably in their 40s right? Could you imagine them dating a 16 year old girl? Does that sentence sound remoteoly OK to you?

 

So peadophile doesn't include teenagers then, ok.

 

I'm trying to be civil in this response because honestly, I don't really enjoy arguing with people over the internet (or in person) and I think it's pretty pointless/childish when it's over the internet. I just get very intense over this topic, plus it was my grandad's funeral. I also didn't appreciate the way you called me out; starting the sentence with "FYI" just sounds arrogant and rude to me. So I'm sorry.

I think you have your own views. You are partly right but you are making many generalisations too. Let me tell you I have 5 friends, all mostly the same age. We are all in relationships with much older, secure, employed guys.

Some of the girls are from terrible family backgrounds. Had it not been for these guys who look after them, love and cherish them ( of course the sex is fabulous..hehe) and support them, they would have had a terrible unproductive life and would have gone astray. So there you go. I am talking from experience and FIRST HAND too. Whatever explanations you have given, the caution you have advised, and the huge generalisations you have made arent applicable here.

To me it is about control and trying to dictate to teens a kind of philosophy that is restrictive.

Yes teens may rebel as you have explained, but thats what always happens at first  because of the repression that existed and when freedom is suddenly discovered.  But as time passes everything settles and there is a new way of existence that follows.

I believe that it isnt the teens who are the problem. The adults and the parents are the ones with fear, the paranoia and the insecurity.

They need to chill and let some slack. They need to believe in their children. If they havent given those kids the right foundation  and havent set good examples then all hell lets loose. You cannot blame the teenagers then for that consequence !!

Hi boomting, glad to see you back. I am so sorry about granddad. I missed our discussions  :P

Firstly, I am not arrogant. That is your perception and youve drawn the "victim card" too soon. Debates are often fiery and some try and win an argument by drawing the so called  "victim card" which you have done.

You called or perhaps it was alice doll who called my statements "moronic" .. isnt that so bitchy??

Next, I am not the one trying to escape my country. I dont need to. I am a secure person who will do things that I feel are right and I dont need any protection or the law to dictate to me what I should ad cant do. I was referring to those girls who did resort to those drastic steps. That was an example I was bringing up.

Teenagers as you know ( you say you have kids yourself, so you must be a lot older) cannot be financially independant. Our society is so structured that it prevents us from being financially independant, so by default we HAVE to live with parents. Another control mechanism.

You other comment about older guys going for younger girls having CRAPPY JOBS, CRAPPY CARS AND NO AMBITION...wow.. what kind of judgemental comment is that..LOL.. I am really amazed about how you can freely decide on making such sweeping generalisations. Can I tell you the guys we go out with are much older and they have been from very very affluent families with huge estates and first class education. These guys are smart, articulate, travelled all over the world and hold  jobs in the medical, legal,defence and financial world. You must have sch a narrow experience in life to have made such remarks. This is exactly what i say.. such comments from those with such a narrow focus. I would urge you to try and be a little more liberal in your thinking and you will find the world isnt that bad after all.

I know you dont apreciate older guys going with younger girls but I bet even you would approve if your teenage daughter (in your words "CHILD") brought home her bf who was doing law or accountany...LOL

So you think a 14 or 15 yr old girl cant have or must not have affection directed to a older boy?? Do you think love follows any rules. Do you think you can confine affection and guide its direction. Do you think biological attraction follows a predetermined path ?? Remember girls are about 5 yrs more advanced that guys their own age (well most , unless of course their development is stifled by influences and upbringing like I am witnessing on this discussion) and it is not uncommon to find girls and guys with age disparities actually hitting it off in a big way. Now, those negative thinkers will say it is all about sex. They will not look beyond but will feel "disgusted"..lol

And finally, I realise you are uncomfortable with discussing these issues because it does bring out certain responses in you which are obvious. But debates are just that. You have to make your case.  I love debates.  (my bf is a lawyer, I understand the law a bit i think. He is a great influence) Thats the only way to change the world and get rid of old fashioned antiquated thoughts and ways. New beginnings I call it.

FYI = For your information.  It isnt a demonstration of arrogance but I realise that people have different thresholds of feeling hurt.

 

I called your statements moronic because you were acting immature. It isn't bitchy, it's observatory. You're going right back to being defensive  instead of understanding the other's positions. (That "bitchy" comment was unwarranted, and also a childish thing to say. It wasn't necessary, was it?)

 

I am not very into debates. I think it's stressful because most people disregard what the other person has to say. You're entitled to what you believe, but not everyone's going to agree with you.


The guy I like is going to college for Political Science, but I bet even if I told my mom that she wouldn't be happy about his age. It doesn't have much to do with the job or your position. 

 

Laws are for everyone to abide to. If you choose to disobey them, that's your problem, not anyone else's.


enlightenedgurl wrote:

Hi boomting, glad to see you back. I am so sorry about granddad. I missed our discussions  :P

Firstly, I am not arrogant. That is your perception and youve drawn the "victim card" too soon. Debates are often fiery and some try and win an argument by drawing the so called  "victim card" which you have done.

You called or perhaps it was alice doll who called my statements "moronic" .. isnt that so bitchy??

Next, I am not the one trying to escape my country. I dont need to. I am a secure person who will do things that I feel are right and I dont need any protection or the law to dictate to me what I should ad cant do. I was referring to those girls who did resort to those drastic steps. That was an example I was bringing up.

Teenagers as you know ( you say you have kids yourself, so you must be a lot older) cannot be financially independant. Our society is so structured that it prevents us from being financially independant, so by default we HAVE to live with parents. Another control mechanism.

You other comment about older guys going for younger girls having CRAPPY JOBS, CRAPPY CARS AND NO AMBITION...wow.. what kind of judgemental comment is that..LOL.. I am really amazed about how you can freely decide on making such sweeping generalisations. Can I tell you the guys we go out with are much older and they have been from very very affluent families with huge estates and first class education. These guys are smart, articulate, travelled all over the world and hold  jobs in the medical, legal,defence and financial world. You must have sch a narrow experience in life to have made such remarks. This is exactly what i say.. such comments from those with such a narrow focus. I would urge you to try and be a little more liberal in your thinking and you will find the world isnt that bad after all.

I know you dont apreciate older guys going with younger girls but I bet even you would approve if your teenage daughter (in your words "CHILD") brought home her bf who was doing law or accountany...LOL

So you think a 14 or 15 yr old girl cant have or must not have affection directed to a older boy?? Do you think love follows any rules. Do you think you can confine affection and guide its direction. Do you think biological attraction follows a predetermined path ?? Remember girls are about 5 yrs more advanced that guys their own age (well most , unless of course their development is stifled by influences and upbringing like I am witnessing on this discussion) and it is not uncommon to find girls and guys with age disparities actually hitting it off in a big way. Now, those negative thinkers will say it is all about sex. They will not look beyond but will feel "disgusted"..lol

And finally, I realise you are uncomfortable with discussing these issues because it does bring out certain responses in you which are obvious. But debates are just that. You have to make your case.  I love debates.  (my bf is a lawyer, I understand the law a bit i think. He is a great influence) Thats the only way to change the world and get rid of old fashioned antiquated thoughts and ways. New beginnings I call it.

FYI = For your information.  It isnt a demonstration of arrogance but I realise that people have different thresholds of feeling hurt.

 


I'm actually sixteen and was just saying if I had kids. Also if you noticed I never said ALL older guys who go for young girls have those attributes so it isn't a sweeping generalisation. When I was talking about the teen running off I was speaking hypothetically; not using you as an example, jheeze. I'm finishing this debate; you're not reading what I've said properly because you're putting things into my mouth and your also getting too defensive with both me and alice so you're obviously incapable of having a debate.

 

Saying I don't want to reply because I have my grandad's funeral to attend is playing the victim card? Cool.

 

Bye.

 

Edit: You know what's extremely funny and ironic about your post, how you're supposedly dating lawyers and these really educated guys...a lawyer knows the law yet they're still dating minors? L O L. The educated men also lack common sense; that they'd put their career and everything at risk over one girl. I hope for yours and their sake the law doesn't catch up with you. I just find it hard to believe your ALWAYS dating these really successful older guys and your what 15? What's your secret? Because there are plenty of women who don't get these guys.

hahahaha.. emotional fluff, desperation, frustration and insults.

Your debates are so full of emotional rubbish.

A wise debate must be full of objectivity which your arguments lack thoroughly..lol

Now 'cry baby' runs away in a huff because it is all too much.

Again you go on and on about "minors". You certainly proved you are one.

Why do I get the impression that Alice and Boomting are one and the same person. You argue in the same emotional way and you accuse me of getting heated up and defensive. Again, your usual irrational arguments. I have never been heated. Never do and never will. Not my style.

I spoke of you being bigoted and narrow minded which I must say are attitudes. I never insulted you. But you called my statements "moronic" which implies that you have brought my intelligence into question. Now that is a very personal insult. Can I tell you, you will never match my intelligence and the crybaby arguments you are resorting to and running away crying, demonstrate that clearly.

Wisdom = objectivity. Haven't observed much of that in your discussions.

Unfortunately, what you have demonstrated is the 'last resort' of the intellectually bereft. Really a shame.

I bet Alice will jump to your rescue, but she seems to be more balanced in her discussion. A jekyll and hyde kind of behaviour.LOL

 

I am glad I wont be having any more debates with you. I pity the swedish girl who posted her comment. You probably have made her more confused than ever.  LOL

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