Friend not happy about my Friend with Benefits

I am 19, and going to be a softmore in college. When I started college, I met this guy who I was instantly attracted to. We started talking more and more, and eventually started making out and fooling around. When things continued to get heated, we talked and agreed to keep things casual, and only be friends. We also agreed to keep our arrangement secret. This worked out good for both of us, and I was fully comfortable with him before I slept with him. He told me before hand that he was "kinky (BDSM)" and liked to be dominant. We have a safe word, and I love what we have going in our secret, casual relationship. We've been sleeping together for almost a year when my friend found out. She was pissed, and says he is brainwashing me and keeping me around as his sex slave. She says if I don't end it, she will tell my very religious parents. My parents will kill me if they found out. I was always convinced what me and my "special friend" had going on was okay, and only our business, but now I am starting to doubt it. Should I end it with the guy who I have fun with, or continue? Is what we're doing wrong??

Side Note---- The guy I'm sleeping with and I both have started to develope feeling s with each other, and are considering publicly dating (of course keeping the BDSM private)

'Is what we're doing wrong ?' ?The answer to that will differ depending on who you ask. Your friend thinks it is and she's pissed about it, and your parents would also say it's wrong. You most probably don't think it's wrong as otherwise you wouldn't be doing it. I think that you'll have to accept that people are more used to the conventional way of seeing relationships work, i.e they start with people developing feelings for each other and gradually escalate into a sexual realationship. Doing things back to front...having sex together for a year, and then noticing some feelings developing ?later, probably sounds like a weird concept to your friend. Your parents would most likely have trouble getting their heads around it also.

It'll really have to be your own decision. But the fact that it's taken so long for you to even start developing feelings for each other might be a warning sign.

It's none of your friend or your parents' business. If was a completely consensual idea, and you both weren't into the idea of having a committed relationship (at the time at least), then there's nothing wrong. If he told you he's getting feelings, too, it's not like it's something that's one-sided. You need to tell your friend that she needs to keep her nose out of your business. Your sex life has nothing to do with her.

I think you'll feel better about the situation if you keep it real and date publically. ?Your kinkiness should be kept private though, as long as its fantasy. ?But for real... as long as things are ok I would date publically


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